Saturday, February 24, 2018

The Winter of My Discontent

This happened last year, too.

Mid-February, things warmed up. The sun came out, the coats came off. Spring seemed just minutes away.

Then, suddenly, it started snowing. A lot. Almost every day for a week or two. Straight into early March. Every time I drove somewhere, I was anxious about getting stuck in the snow.

I suspect I know why this is happening. It's because towards the end of February, people get worried that we didn't get enough snow for the winter. So they pray...really hard...for moisture. And then the heavens open, and snow, snow everywhere!

Far be it from me to tell people to stop praying. Especially because we do need the water. However, personally, part of me is convinced that I'd rather die of thirst than drive in the snow. Just saying.

Monday, February 19, 2018

A Different Approach

I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else!"

Yes...but also no.

Maybe I'm just worse than everyone around me, but I'm extremely needy, and for months I haven't felt like I was in a good place. If I wait until I feel taken care of to help others, I won't ever offer anything to anyone else. I'll always have an excuse. So rather than focus on fixing my own despondency (which fixing usually leads to fixating and only makes things worse), I often try to seek healing by healing someone else.

Not a permanent fix, but it helps.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

My Review of the All the Phase Two Marvel Movies

Again, my brothers (and sometimes dad) and I are watching all relevant Marvel movies before Infinity Wars is released. We just finished watching Phase Two. (Sadly, even though Big Hero 6 was released during Phase Two, it's not canonically significant, so we didn't watch that one. Though a small part of me thinks it would be hilarious if all Big Hero 6 characters were cartoonily CGIed into Infinity Wars.)

Here's what I thought of Phase Two.

Iron Man 3: A hot, nonsensical mess with a flimsy emotional base. +10 for the cute kid, the cool battle with the suits at the end, and the funny Bruce Banner cameo. -10 million for RESOLVING ALL THE PROBLEMS AT THE END OF THE MOVIE WITH A FEW LINES OF THROWAWAY DIALOGUE?!!

Thor: The Dark World: I don't understand why Iron Man's sequels are merely numbered while everyone else's sequels get subtitles. That being said, a better name for this movie would be Space Lord of the Rings. Although I get that Tolkien's stories were built heavily off of Norse, Saxon, and Welsh mythology, it's not great that I was able to crack some really on-point Lord of the Rings jokes the entire time. It showed that the movie was wanting originality. However, there are some cool moments. I really like Darcy and Ian the intern (and I'm sad that they've been outed from the MCU). But frankly, although there are significant improvements over Thor's first adventure, the whole thing is strongly tinged with boredom and confusion. And it ends with Thor thinking Loki is dead which, um, happened at the end of the first Thor movie...right? Either way, I still don't care very much about Thor or Loki.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier: I already gave a few thoughts on this movie, but I'm going to re-emphasize how needlessly violent it is. There's a scene of...ten minutes? twenty minutes? where Nick Fury takes machine-gunfire during a car chase. Sorry, but I wanted to see Captain America be adorable, not see Nick Fury get shot to pieces. Also, there is quite a bit of dragging. And so. Much. Broken glass!!! (The subtitle should more accurately be "Breaking Glass.") But we meet Falcon, who has grown on me a lot recently.

Guardians of the Galaxy: This was the second Marvel movie I saw in theaters. It represents a significant and welcome shift in Marvel movies: a commitment to cut back on the boring stuff and take themselves even less seriously than they already did. It's rougher and cruder than previous Marvel movies, but I think the characters are excellent and well-cast, and the space adventures are far more compelling than Thor's.

Avengers: Age of Ultron: This movie weighs itself down so unnecessarily. Ultron speaks in weird poetic phrases (I think the idea is that his speech patterns are canned from human culture, but it just kind of comes across like the studio could only afford a philosophy major to write the dialogue). Hawkeye is secretly married even though we all know that he loves Black Widow (I am still pretending this never happened). Black Widow believes she's as much of a monster as the Hulk because neither of them can have children (I don't think that's what they're trying to say, but it kind of comes across that way). The movie seems 50% longer than it actually is. But the Vision is pretty cool, and the Avengers finally acknowledge the existence of the infinity stones.

Ant-Man: I honestly believe this is one of the best Marvel movies. It's got good heart, it's sharp and fast-paced, and its characters are likable and relatable. It is similar to Guardians of the Galaxy and gives off a similar vibe, but it's able to play off criminal-turned-hero differently enough that it works.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Terrific Tribulations

Usually when I'm having a problem, I don't talk about it until it's resolved. Especially since so many of life's problems involve other people, and I want to avoid casting aspersions on others.

However, we're due for a blog post, and I can think of literally nothing but some problems I am having.

Please note that "terrific" can be either good or bad depending on how you interpret it, thus the blog post title. Because bad things can be good or bad. I mean, they're always bad...that's why they're bad things...and I personally hate hollow phrases like "Maybe this is for the best." I don't think that phrase has ever made anyone feel better ever, unless they're saying it to themselves in a desperate attempt to heal their shattered soul.

I do believe, however, that sometimes things go down right before they come up again.

This still stands.

So does this.

I did get some pretty unusual advice for this variation of interpersonal problems. It is as follows (worded as best as I can remember): "If in the past this kind of thing has happened before and you were the one to reach out to solve it, well this time, don't be that girl."

It's all in the Lord's hands now.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Autocorrect

When I got my smartphone two and a half years ago, I was decidedly unimpressed. I asked Siri to find me a boyfriend and she wasn't able to. Ripoff.

Also, I quickly noticed a strange autocorrect setting. Any time I try to type "on" but accidentally type, "ob," the phone corrects it to "Brownies." With a capital B.

I consider this to be extremely unnatural, not least because I don't talk about brownies very much. Actually, for a long time there I suspected it was something Little Sister had set up on my phone (she looooves brownies and bugging me), but I never actually found out if that was the case...

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

At the Polls

I'm noticing that more and more people are conducting polls on Facebook, Instagram stories, and Twitter. Sometimes I think they're genuinely trying to crowdsource their decisions...but more often, I think it's just for fun.

A previous blog I created on Blogger (before Blogger became the armpit of the Internet) had a little poll widget on it. I'd ask random questions, such as "What boy should I have a crush on?" (Yup...I was a teenager...don't judge too harshly.)

I don't think Blogger's capable of handling poll widgets anymore (RIP Blogger's usefulness). But just for fun, shall we have a poll? We shall. We shall be meta and have a poll about polls.

The poll is: Which of the following polls would you be most likely to participate in?

A) A poll asking who Awkward Mormon Girl should date (for old times's sake)

B) A poll asking where Awkward Mormon Girl should travel (I actually would like this advice)

C) A poll asking when Ask Awkward Mormon Girl should be a thing again (it's overdue)

D) A poll asking which Harry Potter character is actually the worst (because I am constantly stymied by the number of people who think Ron is the worst character when clearly it's Snape)

Be an American and vote!

Monday, January 29, 2018

My Utah Accent

When I worked in fast food, I encountered some interesting human specimens. We got all kinds: Unbelievably nice. Unbelievably rude. Junior high kids. Senior citizens. Generic. Extremely quirky.

One man came in just once, on a bright summer's day. If I recall correctly, he was a shorter fellow with gray hair and glasses. I was taking his order when he said something like, "You have such a good Utah accent."

Obviously, I was taken aback. To the best of my memory, the rest of the conversation went along these lines.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Uh...thanks?

CUSTOMER: Oh, it's a compliment. I'm not from around here. I'm a linguist, so I'm interested in accents, but for some reason I just can't do a Utah one.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Oh, okay. Well, your order is such-and-such-and-such.

CUSTOMER: You just do it SO WELL!