How to Choose a Christmas Present

It's that time of year again--the time of year when everybody wants a present. Everybody. From you. For Christmas. And each has to be the exact perfect present, or else your loved ones will feel unloved and cry their eyes out and possibly develop complexes from your neglect.

Are you feeling the pressure yet? Yes? Well, prepare to unfeel that pressure, because Awkward Mormon Girl is here to help!

Here's how to choose the perfect Christmas present, in six easy steps.

1. Choose one person from your Christmas shopping list.

2. Think about everything that reminds you of that person. I mean everything. Colors that call them to mind, their usual brand of toothpaste, their aunt's middle name. Listen to music, eat food, and watch television shows that remind you of them. Once you're hopped up on sensory overload, go to your nearest retail store.

3. Run through the store like a tornado, putting everything you see that you think this person might like in your shopping cart. Except probably don't run. The manager of the retail store will throw you out. Unless you are the manager of your nearest retail store. In which case, carry on.

4. Look through the items that you chose and recognize the ones which weren't actually a good idea. Like that loufa. Nobody in the history of ever has wanted a loufa for Christmas.

5. Put back the loufa.

6. Purchase the item you think is the best fit. Take home, wrap, and give away.

And there! You've done it! You've successfully chosen a Christmas present. Repeat those six steps for each person on your list and you're guaranteed to choose a perfect present for everyone! Or you will at least not get them a loufa.