Ask Little Sister

Dear Little Sister,

What is the number-one thing you should buy when moving out of the house?

Toilet paper

2. Cheetos

3. A house to move into because you just moved out of your other one and are probably homeless. If not a house, then a mediocre car or a very nice dog igloo.

How can I get my hair to look as fancy as yours?

and

If a train going 45 miles an hour leaves New York City and a bus going 57 miles leaves Ontario and they are both going north in perpendicular directions, at what point will it start raining gummy bears?

Thanks ever so much.

Answer to question 3: Neither, because tatertots and turban don't rhyme.

Just kidding. They can't be going north AND perpendicular. Just testing you. Obviously.

YOU FAILED.

I actually took a second to think about how things could be going north and perpendicular at the same time and it really hurt my brain

Until I realized this is obviously taking in a place where the North Pole is constantly moving.

So they are just traveling perpendicular to each other, and they both are headed north at some point in their journey.

You never answered the hair question.

I will now.

Your hair can look as fancy as mine with the following things:

The boldness of this

The bounciness of this

 

 

The urgency of this

The ferocity of this

 

The creativeness of this

 

Lots and lots of this

 

 
And of course the ultimate key and all time most powerful well kept secret hair tool:

 

This.

 

Wow.

That's, like, the only thing better than hairspray.

Use all those and your hair can look like this:

 

 

In no time.

How beautimus.

You're welcome.