My Review of All Phase Three Marvel Movies So Far

After I got my appendix out, Favorite Cousin texted me and informed that I must have angered the Marvel gods by saying that I don't like Winter Soldier.

My response? Maybe. But obviously the Marvel gods were appeased by the sacrifice of my appendix, because during my surgery, Robert Downey Jr. announced that Avengers: Infinity War was going to be released a week earlier than planned.

The crowds went wild! And by crowds, I mean Baby Brother. Though it doesn't take much for him to get wild about Marvel movies. He texts me about Avengers: Infinity War almost every day. 

All Phase Three movies that have come out so far share a common quirk: they all seem more like they're building up to Avengers: Infinity War than being a complete movie. Like, the entire phase is just working itself up to one big payoff. Which I guess is all a series ever does. But still. Part of me feels like I've somehow been cheated because I had to watch six mostly unrelated movies just to be able to watch one action-adventure flick. The other part of me enjoyed the journey too much to care.

Without further ado, and before Avengers: Infinity War arrives on the scene, here are my reviews of Phase Three (so far).

Captain America: Civil War: Okay, I loved this movie a lot. It whetted my appetite for Infinity War because it proved that the Marvel peeps can handle a huge ensemble with a deft hand. Everyone got a good moment. Jokes were made. Cool fights were had. Water trucks were thrown. This movie is super long, but it doesn't feel long. Even if it did, it's worth sitting through just for that airport scene.

My only real complaint about this movie? The central conflict wasn't resolved by the end of the movie. And Captain America can't stop being Captain America! That's not okay! (All right, that's two real complaints, I guess.)

Also, Cap was right about everything. Tony was wrong. His motives were good, but he was wrong. Don't fight me on this. I am prepared to defend myself. #teamcap

Doctor Strange: So the first time I watched this movie, I was underwhelmed. Dr. Strange's character evolution was not convincing. I didn't believe that he was willing to sacrifice himself for all of humanity because he didn't seem to have grown that much. On a second viewing, though, I realized that everything in the movie pointed to him not actually changing but just transferring his arrogance to his magic. He sacrifices himself for all of humanity because he believes he's the only one who can, not because of humility. Was he wrong? No, I guess not, but he's still kind of a jerkface. Maybe someday he'll learn. Maybe.

The movie had a bit of a spiritual bent, which I enjoyed. Though I'm still confused about why they can do magic without the sling rings but they can't cross dimensions without them.

Completely unsubstantiated criticisms: footage of car accident and surgeries was gross and disturbing. Car accidents scare me. I do not like medical stuff. My mom does like medical stuff. She enjoyed this movie when we forced her to watch it with us last month. She also commented on how realistic Dr. Strange's arrogance was.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: The first Guardians of the Galaxy pushed the definition of a superhero movie a bit. They cast a comedian in the lead role, had a cast of seemingly underwhelming characters, and added unparalleled amounts of crassness and schmaltz (and 80s references). The product was unusual—but people loved it. So for the second go-round, I guess they decided to do what they'd done before, just with more. More crassness! More schmaltz! More 80s references! Were they successful?

(Full disclosure: I saw this movie immediately after a sort-of breakup; I cried on the easy chair for half an hour and then took my brothers to the theatre. So that incident might be coloring my perception, but frankly I think that the answer to the question "Were they successful?" is a resounding) NO! This time, they hit too many wrong notes. I was embarrassed by the overabundance of sex jokes, particularly since I was watching with my teenage brothers. The plot was too predictable. Good things included: the opening sequence. Mantis and Drax's weird interactions. Peter and Gamora's weird interactions. Yondu's character arch. Digging deep into Rocket's issues. But everything else was the worst.

P.S. Am I the only life form on this planet who doesn't like Groot?

Spider-man: Homecoming: I thought this movie was pretty close to perfect. Tom Holland's version of Peter Parker is adorable. I was having all of the protective big sister feels about him. Also, the movie actually managed to somehow be a superhero movie while accurately capturing the reality of being a teenager: Weird unspoken romantic connections. Going on that long-anticipated date and being awkward as all get-out. Worrying about what your crush's dad thinks of you. Not ending up with your romantic interest at the end of the adventure.

Thor: Ragnarok: My feedback about the first two Thor movies was mostly that they were boring and took themselves too seriously, but that Darcy was pretty cool. This movie has no Darcy (boo) and no Jane (meh). But everything else got better (yay)! The characters were better. More characters and settings were added. Everyone stopped taking themselves so darn seriously. Like, the whole movie just exuded fun. I could tell everyone was having a good time. Of course, there was a split second at the end of the movie where it was unclear whether Loki was still alive. Because it's not a Thor movie if Loki doesn't die at the end.

Black Panther: I honestly was not sure what to expect from this movie. It definitely didn't feel like a superhero movie. It was good, though. Like Doctor Strange, it got pretty spiritual (although it didn't ever quite get into magic). It also got pretty political. Civil War was kind of pseudo-political, but there were no pseudo-politics in Black Panther, just real ones. However, it wasn't so political that I hated it, and I thought that, like in Civil War, they did a good job of balancing two schools of thought.

Now let's talk about the best part of the movie: Princess Shuri. I loved her. She's great. I just want her and Peter Parker to meet and be friends forever.