The Rant

Today I was fifth-book Harry.

I love the fifth Harry Potter book. It's so fun. But I don't love fifth-book Harry, because fifth-book Harry is some rough times.

Today, I was rough times.

It all started when La Petite and Madam President came over for a while. We were supposed to talk about the first Harry Potter book. (La Petite and Madam President are not acquainted with the joys of Harry Potter and I have convinced them to try it.) We did talk about Harry for a while, but then we talked about some personal stuff.

When it was my turn, I exploded.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL AS FIFTH-BOOK HARRY: My life is so hard! I do so much difficult stuff that Dumbledore doesn't even trust me!

FRIENDS: Um, are you sure you're not making this harder than it needs to be-

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: You don't know me! You don't know my life! YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE WHEN VOLDEMORT RETURNED!

Then I went for dinner with Pepper and another member of our improv troupe. Basically, I ranted the whole time and they listened to my rant.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: You don't know how hard it is to be the Chosen One and have the fate of the entire wizarding world resting on my shoulders.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: And midi-chlorians are a terrible father.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Wait. I'm turning into Hayden Christensen Anakin Skywalker. That's worse!

Luckily, everyone was very patient and supportive of me, and things didn't escalate to a point where I tried to kill my Jedi master and melted my face off in some lava.