Near-Death Experience

Recently I had a near-death experience in the Hometown High parking lot.

I attend institute, the college version of seminary, once a week during the summer at Hometown High's seminary building.

"What, attending religious classes during the summer of your own free will?" you might ask. "What madness is this?"

To which I say, "You should try it sometime." I'm not even joking. YOU SHOULD COME. YOU'LL REALLY LIKE IT. I'll save you a seat.

Anywho, right after institute I had a meeting with my comedy troupe. So while everyone else was socializing post-class, I booked it to the parking lot. I got into my car, put the key in the ignition and the seatbelt in its clasp, and said a short prayer.

You might have noticed that I'm a little ADD. This is pretty unfortunate because in today's world, being a productive adult means having to drive. And, well, driving and a short attention span just don't mix.

I pray each time I drive because I know I can use all the help I can get. By the grace of God, so far I have managed to not accidentally flatten my car and end up with my mangled body wrapped around a light post or something.

Most other people I know drive like people with regular attention spans and don't feel the need to pray every time they're at the wheel. As I prayed before heading out of the institute parking lot, I was more than aware of the girl sitting in the car parked next to mine and the fact that if she saw me praying, she might think I was a little weird. There's a thing I've learned about life, though--sometimes I've just gotta do what I've gotta do. If people think I'm weird, well, let them.

Once I'd finished up my prayer, I put down the parking brake, shifted to Drive, and hit the gas.

But my car didn't go forward. It went backward instead.

My foot snapped off the pedal. Reverse? Nope, I was in Drive. Yet my car had glided backwards.

I moved out of Drive and back into it, for good measure. I pressed the pedal down.

I went backwards.

This time, when I took my foot off the pedal, the movement didn't stop.

I stared in horror at the car next to me as I slipped away from it, heading dead-on for all the cars parked right behind me.

Panic ensued.

Snow? The right kind of powder can make a car slide... but, July! I toggled the controls, but the car didn't stop! If I die... all the stuff I've never done... A brace for the impact! I can't afford to pay for a car wreck. And... and...

Nothing.

I blinked. What was going on? Had I already crashed, just very, very gently? Was I dead? Was I hallucinating?

Forcing myself to focus, I glanced more carefully at my surroundings.

My car seemed to be in the same place. Although the car that was parked next to me was pulling away.

Another moment of massive confusion. Then the lights inside my head went on.

I hadn't been going backwards at all. The girl in the car next to me had started driving her car forward.

Because her car was in the direction I happened to be looking in, and because I was effectively blocked from seeing the cars beyond hers due to the angle of the parking lot, and because I'd thought my car was going somewhere, the illusion that I was actually going backward was created.

I looked down at the dashboard and saw that I'd never even started the ignition. Shaking, I did just that. As I drove to my meeting, I felt happy just to have survived another day. Because surviving an imaginary disaster is just as shell-shocking as surviving a real one.

..see guys. This is why I pray before I drive.