Wrong Number

In the five years that I've had my phone, approximately 20.345 squared people have called me asking for Kathryn.

Some financial people have called me. Like credit people and banks.

Also, some guy who called twice saying he was very upset with Kathryn and that she'd better meet up with him "or else."

And a guy who found Kathryn's number on a Frisbee at a golf course. Kathryn was so attached to her Frisbee that she felt the need to write her number on it. And then throw it into some golf course bushes.

Then there's Ryan.

Unknown Number: hi ryan! would you mind texting me to let me kmw what time my apt is tomorrow? thank you! looking forward to seeing you!

I texted back, "I think you have the wrong number," and instantly regretted it.

a) "I think you have the wrong number." Why would I even say that? I know that my name isn't Ryan. I don't think it. If I was going to let the texter off easy, I should have just said, "You have the wrong number." But

b) Why in the world would I say "You have the wrong number" anyways? A wrong number is a golden opportunity to be ridiculous or at the very least, say something interesting.

Yesterday I got this one:

Second Unknown Number: Hi this is Tracy --- I lost your dad's phone number can you give it to me also bishop --- too

Tracy ---: I have a calling in my ward

I prepared an interesting response.

Awkward Mormon Girl: Dear Tracy ---, I regret to inform you that you have reached the wrong number. I do not know any Bishop ---. However, I could still give you my dad's phone number if you want it. My mom is never able to get him to pick up, but you may have more success. Sincerely, Not the Person You Were Trying to Reach

Awkward Mormon Girl: P.S. I also have a calling in my ward! What a coincidence.

I settled back to wait for a responses, certain I would either not get one or that I would get an equally interesting response in return, and then who knows what would happen? This could be a great chance to whet my texting wit!

My phone buzzed.

Tracy ---: Is this Brook

Well. I tried.