Texts from Jamonte

In the not-so-distant past, Little Sister came into the kitchen with a dilemma.

"I got a text from a wrong number. 'Uncle James,'" she read from her phone screen, "'it's monte need to holla at u.'"

Immediately my ears perked up. So did the rest of me.

"Little Sister," I said, "the Snuggie Texts."

Mom said, "Just text back and tell them they have the wrong number."

I said, "Text back something ridiculous!"

And Mom said, "Don't have a conversation with this person. Just say, 'wrong number.'"

Little Sister looked at both of us with uncertainty, trying to decide which path would bring her to happiness and sunshine.

Either Little Sister has gotten better at following the sibling hierarchy or my path sounded happier and more sunny, because later Little Sister waylaid me and read me the conversation from her phone.

Unknown Number: Uncle James it's monte need to holla at u

Little Sister: Kay holla away

Okay. Well, that wasn't ridiculous, but it was funny. I told her so.

"Then," Little Sister said, "he tried to call me."

"Uh... what?"

"Don't worry. I didn't answer."

Monte: Tried to call u twice call me!!!!

Little Sister: It doesnt say u called me

Little Sister: Its not working just text me

"Then," Little Sister said, "I got this text from another number."

"...a what from a what?"

Unknown Number #2: Jamonte said call him.

Monte: My phone is dead call my gurls phone if you wanna make this paper

Little Sister to Monte: is this monte?

Unknown Number #2: Where are yall

Little Sister to Unknown Number #2: grabbin some food

Monte: Yes this is monte call me

Little Sister to Monte: My phone was dead.

"So then," Little Sister said, "I called him-"

"You WHAT?"

"-and I turned it on mute and acted like the phone was broken."

"You WHAT?"

Monte: My phone is charging now Sally asked u about those things I'm down here if you wanna dump them let me know if grab them if not just let me know I ain't trying to sweat u

Monte: I've tryed calling from her phone and mine

Little Sister to Monte: i don't know why u cant hear me if its on mute i dont know how to get it off. U can come grab them.

Monte: From where unc

Monte: Where I gotta meet u

Little Sister: I think u have the wrong number

Monte: Is this uncle James

Little Sister: Is this jamonte?

Monte: Yes.

Monte: This is jamonte

Monte: Why can't u call me ??????????

Little Sister: My phones about to die.

Little Sister: Plus this isn't uncle james. Sorry. Best of luck

Monte: Then why didn't u say that

Little Sister looked might pleased with herself as she related this all back to me. And just then, I realized something:

I may be ridiculous, but Little Sister is terrifying.

Not too long after that, Little Sister received the following picture from the second unknown number:

In return, she sent this picture of one of her friends:


Her friend asked, "Are you bonding with these people?"

Little Sister's response: they're now in her phonebook as My Nephew Jamonte and Jamonte's Gurl Sally.