Loss

The past several weeks have been strange.

Little Sister got married. Weddings are happy events, but they also mark a cleaving. Weirdly, "cleave" means both to cut apart and put together. So Little Sister is being cleaved to Mr. Little Sister yet she's also, to a certain extent, being cleaved from the family she was born into. It can be a rough transition.

Then there's Baby Sister, who's off on her mission in just a few days (!?). That is also a happy event that will mark a rough transition.

Apart from those things, I think I might be on the verge of losing a friend. It's a sensation with which I am unfamiliar. I haven't lost many good friends over the last ten or so years. Being my friend is a lifetime commitment. Sometimes, though, things fall apart.

However, the most difficult and terrible thing that is happening is the thing that happened today.

There's a Chinese buffet in Hometown which we affectionately call "the ghetto Chinese buffet". It's in a part of town that's really not conducive to hosting a well-frequented restaurant, thus the name. But I love that buffet. Yes, I love it. They serve a few items I've never eaten in any other Chinese restaurants (and I have eaten in a lot, and I mean a lot of Chinese restaurants). They have a delicious chicken skewer with perfectly browned and slightly crispy skin. They have these eggrolls that, well, honestly, I'm not sure what's actually in them. I think it's meat...and some cheeses...and a veggie or two? Whatever. They're amazing. The restaurant also serves almond cookies. I love almond cookies. When I was a kid and my mom took me to the ghetto Chinese buffet on mommy dates, I would wrap some almond cookies in napkins, sneak them out, and hide them in my underwear drawer for future consumption.

Earlier this week I had a great idea. I would surprise Baby Sister with some takeout from the buffet! Baby Sister is the only person in our family who comes close to loving the place as much as I do. A few years ago, the buffet implemented a takeout system where you could buy food by the pound. Baby Sister and I are big fans of this inexpensive option. Baby Sister likes to load up a bunch of wontons and pot stickers in her takeout box, while I'm more partial to the skewers and eggrolls.

So, today, when I went to the ghetto Chinese buffet after work to get Baby Sister's surprise takeout, I was met with a surprise of my own.

The door wouldn't open.

Now, the doors of the ghetto Chinese buffet are notoriously heavy, so I just thought I wasn't pulling hard enough. Soon, however, it became evident that the doors were locked.

I peered inside. Either the buffet was undergoing extensive remodeling, or...or...or...

It went out of business.

I couldn't believe it. First my sisters, then my friendship, and now this???!!!

Numbly, I got in my car and drove home. I cried on the way home, and I'm not even exaggerating this time. I legit cried.

ME: (to me) What am I supposed to do, huh? What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do when I'm sad?

(I frequent the buffet a lot when I'm feeling sad. Like I was, ironically, feeling at the moment.)

ALSO ME: (also to me) Will the trials never end?

This is how I feel right now: