Not Very Long Ago in a Galaxy That's Literally Right Here

Last year was Star Wars, pretty much.

I imagine at this point, some of you are thinking, "Oh, what did you think of the new Star Wars movie, Awkward Mormon Girl?" My response to that is that I'm not a huge Star Wars person so maybe my opinion doesn't matter that much, but first of all I dislike the entire premise of the new series. It was a pretty weak writing choice to return everything to the status quo of Episode IV, in my (and Baby Brother's) opinion. Second of all, there better be a reason why we were forced to watch Rey snap her fingers at her own reflection for a million minutes, or else I'm gonna be real annoyed. But I digress.

Look, Star Wars is all about bringing balance to the Force. 2017 brought balance to the Force...my personal Force, anyway. While some years are mostly good and some years are mostly bad, if we separated out the good and the bad of my 2017, I suspect that it would boil down to the equivalent of six months of bliss and six months of ghastly horrors.

I imagine that at this point, some of you are thinking, "What bliss? All we heard about all year was the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets."

Hmmm, yes. Well, in the interest of transparency, there were a few months in there where I was blissfully happy...I just didn't share because I tend to keep my happiness to myself for as long as possible. I'm really private that way. And even in the middle of the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets, there was some pretty amazing stuff. I just wasn't as focused on it because I'm a human, and humans are the worst.

In short, what I'm trying to say is that 2017 was a year of balance. The dark side and the light side offset each other nicely, and we didn't even have to kill all the Padawans to achieve that.

Goodbye, 2017. Welcome, 2018! Bring it on.

(But seriously...why doesn't anyone tell Rey that blue lightsaber she's using killed a bunch of younglings? Doesn't anyone think that's important for her to know? This is why Star Wars is not my jam.)