Thursday, September 3, 2015

You Might Belong in Gryffindor

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past fifteen or so years, you probably know that September 1st is the beginning of the Hogwarts school year.

Well, this September 1st was Harry Potter's oldest son's first year at Hogwarts. Later that day, J. K. Rowling made an announcement:


As someone who, according to the official Pottermore sorting quiz, is also a Gryffindor, I feel obligated to welcome James Sirius Potter into my fair house.

So, welcome, James! Welcome to Godric Gryffindor's quarter of Hogwarts! Because the hat sorted you into Gryffindor, I am guessing that you possess one or more of the following:

-A tendency to do things you hate or are afraid of
-In fact, you're more likely to do things if you hate them or are afraid of them
-A personal moral code and a trumped-up sense of honor
-A tendency to be rash
-A tendency to show off
-Sudden, noble impulses concerning the well-being of others, even people you don’t know or don’t like
-Especially people you don’t know or don’t like
-A tendency to be a martyr
-A determination to do the right thing despite what others may think of you

Favorite pastimes of Gryffindors include:
-Taking risks
-Saving children from speeding locomotives
-Fainting at the sight of injustice
-Recovering from fainting and proceeding to lead a revolution against said injustice
-Saving the elderly from speeding locomotives
-Never taking the easy way out
-Doing the thing that no one else will do
-Riding a roller coaster and making stupid clever plans to save the person next to you if their safety bar somehow breaks
-Doing something you feel strongly about even when it doesn’t seem “smart”
-Saving beloved pets from speeding locomotives
-Saying “I’m fine” when mortally wounded and/or dying
-Volunteering to do things you may not actually have the capacity to accomplish
-Standing up for people
-Exhibiting a lack of self-preservation skillz
-Saving family heirlooms from speeding locomotives
-Saving speeding locomotives from other speeding locomotives

Here are some appropriate ways to celebrate your new House:
-Drink butterbeer in the common room with friends
-Wear your house colors
-Single-handedly capture and ride a wild griffin
-Remember belatedly that your house mascot is actually a lion, not a griffin
-Search in vain for a lion
-Find a sphinx
-Decide riding sphinx is acceptable substitute for riding lion
-Pics or it didn't happen

No comments:

Post a Comment

Questions, comments, concerns, complaints?