Dinner with the Obnoxiouses

Dinner was scheduled for six. Agents Awkward Mormon Girl, Little Sister, and Baby Sister (hereafter referred to as the Operatives) were to be picked up by their grandmother and her husband around 5:50. All would drive to the restaurant together.

4:45- The Operatives' grandmother calls the Operatives' mother and informs her that dinner would now be at five o'clock sharp.

4:47--4:52 The Operatives' mother tells Agent Awkward Mormon Girl that she is expected at the restaurant with her sisters in less than fifteen minutes. This change in time is said to have been made to accommodate the grandson of their grandmother's husband. There is some speculation that the grandson is intended as an object of romantic interest for Agent Little Sister, despite the fact that Agent Little Sister is, as they say, already taken. Speculation lasts for some five minutes, five minutes which the Operatives realize they should not have wasted as soon as they glance at the clock.

4:53--4:57- There is a mad dash for shoes, deodorant, face powder, and Agent Awkward Mormon Girl's car keys.

Definitely later than five o'clock sharp- After Agent Awkward Mormon Girl's skillful maneuvering of traffic, the Operatives finally arrive at the restaurant of choice, Chuck-a-Rama. Despite the lateness of the hour, the grandson of their grandmother's husband (hereafter referred to as the Subject) has not yet arrived. The Operatives and their dinner companions fill their plates from Chuck-a-Rama's ever-generous selection. After pleasantries, the Operatives begin a quick-paced, spirited discussion about friends, school, and life in general. The grandparents look on.

5:2something- The Subject arrives partway through the first platefuls. Introductions are made. The Subject appears to be a well-educated young man, older than Agent Little Sister but younger than Agent Awkward Mormon Girl, who is capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation.

5:2something--5:30- The Operatives continue their discussion.

5:30- The Subject tries and fails to enter the conversation.

5:33- Partway through sharing their very important opinions, the Operatives realize it might be polite to specifically ask the Subject about himself.

5:34- The Subject tells the Operatives about himself. He is able to hold their attention for several minutes before their Obnoxious tendencies come out and they indulge in one of the classic obnoxious traits: interruption. Automatically interrupting their new acquaintance, they begin a passionate conversation about the musicals they've done that the Subject has never heard of, much less been in.

5:40- Agent Awkward Mormon Girl comments on how her hearing has gotten increasingly worse as she's gotten older. Agent Little Sister begins a story about how sometimes she's not sure what people said, then figures out what they're saying a split-second later, but still says "What?" anyways. Then, when they clarify what they said, Agent Little Sister says, "Oh, I thought you said (something random)."

5:45- The story is very long.

5:52- Really long.

5:53- Partway through the story, Agent Little Sister makes a statement Agent Awkward Mormon Girl can't quite hear. Agent Awkward Mormon Girl says, "What?" Agent Little Sister repeats herself. Agent Awkward Mormon Girl responds with, "Oh, I thought you said (something random)."

5:54- Baby Sister points out that this is exactly what they were just talking about. The Operatives laugh at themselves, because they are hilarious. The Subject looks at them in confusion, because they are bewildering. Agent Little Sister doesn't get to finish the story that was interrupted when the conversation turns to the abject failure of the state in reforming the school system.

5:58- The grandparents try to add to the conversation but barely get a word in edgewise. The Subject gets several words in: "Yes." "I agree." "I know exactly what you're talking about." The Operatives allow the Subject to make these statements because they reaffirm their very important opinions.

6:00- The Operatives say lots of terribly important things that they are quite sure ought to be recorded for posterity. They are so satisfied with their own importance, they actually allow the Subject to talk.

6:06- Cautiously, the Subject tells the Operatives about his schooling plans. The Operatives tell him about their very own important schooling plans.

6:11- Dessert.

6:15- The Subject ventures the opinion that Hawaii is better than Disneyland. The Operatives waste zero minutes in correcting him.

6:15--6:18- The Subject is quite thoroughly proven to be wrong.

6:18- The Subject makes the mistake of reaffirming his opinion.

6:18--6:22- He is proven to be wrong again. During this time, his ice cream sundae melts, leaving him without even sugary deliciousness as a source of comfort.

6:23- The Operatives decide it is time to return to their home. They tell the Subject that it was nice to meet him. The Subject says it was nice to meet them too.

6:25- The Operatives leave. It is unconfirmed but suspected that the Subject immediately fell to the floor, clutching his bowl of melted ice cream and weeping in relief.

6:29- Driving home, the Operatives analyze their own social skillz. They realize the Obnoxious way of interaction is somewhat flawed. Agents Awkward Mormon Girl, Little Sister, and Baby Sister decide to be less harsh on their next victim acquaintance.