DOLLAR STORE CASHIER: Would you like to donate a dollar to buy toys for children for Christmas?
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: No thanks.
GROCERY STORE CASHIER: Would you like to donate a dollar to feed children for Christmas?
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: No thanks.
BOOKSTORE CASHIER: Would you like to donate a dollar to buy books for children for Christmas?
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: YES PLEASE.
Books are one of the greatest gifts of all. I truly believe that. Children need them more than toys; they need them more than food. Well, maybe not more than food. Though it's better to be hungry and have a full mind than it is to be well-fed with a starved imagination. Just sayin'. If you don't believe me, read A Little Princess.
Now, Shutterbug and her husband are about to become parents. Like small children, puppies, and teenagers, new parents need some guidance as they face uncharted territory.
To help provide some of that guidance, I choose baby gifts imbued with meaning. I bought some baby wipes to encourage cleanliness. I bought some baby clothes to discourage nudity.
Most importantly, I planned to give them books. To promote literacy and appreciation of this greatest gift, of course.
Books, sadly, are expensive. So when I found Dr. Seuss board books on sale 2 for $10, I was like, "Score."
I poked around, trying to decide which ones were the best ones. Although I dearly wanted to get Oh The Places You'll Go (it's supa inspirational), I settled on The ABC Book and Mr. Brown Can Moo. Can You? (The alphabet and animal sounds? Supa educational.)
Happily, I made my way to the front of the store to purchase the books. I was almost to the checkout line when something hit me with the force of a falling piano.
Shutterbug is afraid of Dr. Seuss.
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| The scared thing is a metaphor for Shutterbug. The pants are a metaphor for Dr. Seuss. |
After weighing the merits of P. D. Eastman and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, I settled on The Monster at the End of This Book and Another Monster at the End of This Book.
For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, those are books about Grover of Sesame Street fame. Grover learns he is in a book with a monster at the end of it and subsequently tries to nail/glue/solder the pages together so he doesn't have to meet the monster. In the end, he realizes he is the monster, and everything is hunky-dory. The second one is more of the same, except Elmo is there too.
I bought these books and presented them to Shutterbug at her baby shower.
MR. SHUTTERBUG: I've read those books. They were scary.
Scary? That never even occurred to me. I mean, sure they're about monsters, but the monsters are lovable and fluffy. Though come to think of it, Elmo's habit of referring to himself in the third person is rather terrifying...and however you slice it, these are books with monsters at the end of them...
First the Dr. Seuss books, then this. It seems that my subconscious is determined to scar Shutterbug's child for life.
The Monster At the End of this Book was one of my favorite books as a child. I still love it to this day. It still brings me gladness to think of the picture at the end where Grover feels sheepish over being afraid of himself.
ReplyDeleteIt is a delightful book.
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