Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Pithy Summary of My Life as Given by Baby Brother

It's true that I no longer live in the Obnoxious residence. I now live a whopping three minutes away. Which means that it's a separation in name only, because I still see my family several times a week.

However, technically losing my citizenship in the family home apparently means losing my rights as a member of the family.

I came over for dinner the day after I moved out. When I offered my two cents during the typical Obnoxious family banter, Little Sister said, "Well...you don't live here anymore, so what you think doesn't count!"

My other siblings have started saying that, too. It's gotten old. It was old before they even started. But my brothers and sisters think it's as new and entertaining as the iPhone whatever-number-we're-on-now.

Last week, I took Baby Brother to a work party. The conversation in the car went as follows:

BABY BROTHER: Why am I in this car with you, you weird girl?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: I'm not a weird girl. I'm your sister.

BABY BROTHER: No you're not. You don't even live in the same house as me.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Whatever. I'm taking you to a party.

BABY BROTHER: You mean you kidnapped me to go to a party?

BABY BROTHER: That's why you kidnap people. To take them to parties.

BABY BROTHER: The only way you can get people to go to parties with you is to kidnap them.

Thank you, Baby Brother, for summing that up.

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