This Is How I Do Halloween in My Mid-Twenties

On my way out the door today, my landlord said, "You must be going to a party!"

I then had to explain that I was dressed up to take Baby Brother trick-or-treating. Lots of people in their mid-twenties go to Halloween parties, but not me!

Actually, I did go to a Halloween party, it was just on Friday and not today. It was a church-sponsored Halloween carnival. This year, Baby Brother and I put together costumes to be Greg and Wirt from Over the Garden Wall. We bought Wirt's cloak and Greg's overalls, made the hat and teapot out of a cardboard cone and card stock respectively, and scrounged together other bits and odd ends to make some respectable costumes.

After two years of dressing up as my actual gender, it was back to my usual cross-dressing. This was the fourth year in a row of my dressing as a cartoon character of some type and the second year ever of my dressing as a character played by Elijah Wood.

I wore my costume to the Halloween carnival. Best Friend Boy was there also. He was wearing the costume that he's worn for at least three Halloweens: a quarterback costume comprising a letterman jacket and a football. Best Friend Boy likes to play it safe when it comes to Halloween costumes. I understand why: although putting together a more obscure costume is lots of fun, only the people who are really familiar with the property usually recognize it.

Quite a few people approached me at the carnival. About half of them said something like, "OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH YOU'RE WIRT RIGHT THIS IS AMAZING YOU'RE SO AWESOME!" The other said something like, "So are you a gnome or something?"

To my great amusement, several people had a conversation with Best Friend Boy along these lines:

PERSON: So what's your costume?

BEST FRIEND BOY: I'm a quarterback.

PERSON: ...that's it?

We also had a party at my workplace today. So I guess that technically, I went to two parties. However, the night itself was spent on the streets of Hometown with Baby Brother and Ginger Cousin.

It was pretty chilly even though two days ago we had an exceptionally warm night. The rule in Utah is that on Halloween night the temperature always drops, regardless of logic or science. Even though my cloak was usually stifling, I froze quite a bit during the hour we were out. But—all in all, a good night.

Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together! I Mean Presidency.

You might have noticed that I've been feeling down lately.

This past summer was a real slugger, and there wasn't much of a chance for me to hit back. So it was kind of like I got punched in the face over...and over...and over again. After everything, I just felt restless, overwhelmed, and discouraged. There was a lot of "Woe is me!" going on inside my head.

In the midst of this grand pity party, I felt I needed to serve others more. I tried to look for opportunities to do so, and that seemed to help. Then the bishop of my ward asked if he could meet with me. He inquired if I would take on a new calling, and even though my entire life felt like a giant mess, I agreed.

It just so happens that four years ago exactly, I wrote about being a counselor in my ward's Relief Society presidency. Well, today, I'd like to share that as of about a month ago, I am the ward's Relief Society president.

For those of you who don't know, the Relief Society is the largest women's organization in the world. Among other things, the organization tends to the sick and the poor, first inside its local congregations and then without. A Relief Society president and her counselors and secretaries are kind of like women's ministers. They help the women in the congregation both spiritually and physically and take care of all the administrative stuff, such as assigning someone to visit each sister in the ward so that no one is left out or overlooked.

The ten months I served in the presidency with Madam President and La Petite were some of best but most challenging months of my life. So while I was excited for the opportunity to serve again, I was nervous about a lot of things—for example, time management, or the fact that the Relief Society president who preceded me is just about a literal angel. She's sweet, compassionate, and thoughtful. I feel that I tend to be abrasive. Maybe even obnoxious and disliked à la John Adams. I could go on, but you get the idea. However, in our church we believe callings are from God. I could only conclude that a) I'd have divine help to manage my time and b) my God either was okay with my abrasiveness or giving me an excellent chance to learn how to refine my personality.

The angel Relief Society president gave me some counsel. She said that she felt like her flaws were visible every day in her calling and that she had to learn to be patient with herself. Both of those things have been true for me x10. Every day, I realize that I fall short one way or another. Happily, I've been blessed with great counselors and secretaries: Flower Child, Vix, Valiant, and Rebecca. They have a lot of qualities that are sorely needed but that I don't have.

All in all, I'm doing very well. I don't say "Woe is me!" anywhere near as often because I don't have as much time to think about myself. I've been able to let go of a lot of things and entrust them to Heavenly Father. I feel really blessed, and I want to help others feel the same way.

My Physical Therapy Adventure

Remember how at the end of the summer I found out that I'm basically deformed? That was fun, right? Wrong. It wasn't fun. I literally cried for an hour because the sports med doctor told me that I should stop running for a month.

I mean, really? Really, sports med doctor? The nerve! It's like you got a degree in sports medicine and were being paid to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it or something.

The doc also said that I should get new running shoes (and stop running barefoot, which I'd already done—yes I run barefoot, long story, anyway—) and schedule myself some physical therapy appointments.

I didn't stop running because I was pretty sure that if I did that, I would spontaneously combust, Achilles tendon pain or no Achilles tendon pain. But I did get new running shoes, and, after some struggle, I did manage to find a time where my life schedule lined up with the physical therapy office schedule so that I could make an appointment.

Ay my first appointment, I met my physical therapist; he was nice. He asked me how my ankles felt (they felt quite good). He asked if I'd stopped running (I told him I hadn't). He examined me and concluded that while there was definitely an issue present, the sports med doc had over-exaggerated the weakness in my hips and legs.

We talked about what the goal of the physical therapy. I explained that my understanding was that the physical therapy wouldn't be corrective; there wasn't a way to fix the problem. But it could be preventive in helping me avoid and fix more issues in the future.

We decided that I would go to physical therapy for about a month and see how it went.

As we got to work stretching the muscles in my legs, the physical therapist made some observations:

1. A tangible goal for the physical therapy sessions could be getting me to be able to squat. Because, as I'd realized at the doctor's appointment, I can't squat worth...squat.

2. My ankles are very inflexible, especially the left one.

3. My calf muscles are apparently humongous.

4. I am noticeably more uncoordinated on the left side of my body than the right.

The calf muscle thing surprised me, although the inflexible and uncoordinated parts didn't. I always knew that. How could I not know that? When you're as inflexible and uncoordinated as I am, you're bound to notice. The only shock was that it was just on the one side.

Later the physical therapist also noticed that I run on my toes in such a way that definitely was not helping my Achilles tendons. He asked if the tiptoeing was because I'd done dance, and I said it was. (Yes, even as inflexible and uncoordinated as I am, I was in dance classes for 5+ years. That's how I discovered I was inflexible and uncoordinated.)

In any case, for a little over a month, I would go to the physical therapy clinic super early and meet with the physical therapist. The first few sessions, he massaged my ankles with some kind of butter to loosen them up. The first couple of times hurt but in a good way. The final time, he used a plastic scrape-y thing to perform the massage, and it hurt like the dickens. It took my full willpower not to kick him in the face. I had to send my brain to a happy place to handle the pain.

I also did exercises at the clinic. These exercises featured such delights as stretching against a wall, doing squats with an exercise ball, doing squats with a chair, putting a gigantic rubber band that smelled vaguely of chocolate around my ankles and scuttling sideways like a demented crab, and pushing off on a counter to rise up and slowly lower myself down.

I practiced these exercises every night at home. Pepper said, "Isn't the stereotype that people don't practice their physical therapy?" That sounded like a waste of money to me.

To be honest, though, it was kind of...fun. Mentally soothing, too. It was nice to feel like there was a problem in my life with an actual straightforward solution.

After doing four sessions over about five weeks, we shook hands. Physical therapy was over. My ankles were doing great. I'd conquered my Achilles tendons. Which is a nice metaphor if you think about it.

I Don't Like Slack

Slack. You've probably heard of it. I'd say it's 50% website, 50% app, and 100% trending in the world of business. It's supposed to save you time at work. If you want to discuss something with your coworkers, instead of shooting them an email, you just chat them up on Slack. Bada-bing, bada-boom. Quick and casual.

I used to have a coworker who was obsessed with Slack. I can remember several times when I emailed him and he asked if we could move the conversation to Slack instead. He created tons of different Slack chats and used only the finest gifs offered. He basically had his own little Slack workplace empire.

As you might have guessed from the title, I don't care much for Slack. Here's the thing: even if Slack does save time (and I'm not convinced that it does), it's heckuva inconvenient. I still have to have my email open even when I'm using Slack. Slack just becomes one more window open on my PC that I have to minimize and maximize while I work.

Well, I found out the other day that I'm not alone! There's a modest movement called "Slacklash," fueled by people who think Slack falls short of its intended purpose.

Anybody else use Slack at work? What do you think?

Deep Waters

I have a problem.

The problem is that I don't really like shallow conversations. If I'm going to talk to somebody, I'd rather talk about things that really matter. So I have a terrible, terrible habit of jumping from zero to one hundred with people. Like, "Hi—how are you—I see you have a boyfriend—are you two serious—oh, you're thinking of getting married but you're not sure—what's the holdup?" I just get waaaay too personal waaaay too quick. I think this frightens some folk.

Also, I'm an open book, so if people ask me questions, I will respond honestly. This has led to some interesting situations with people who don't believe that I say what I mean and are convinced that there is some deep-seated mystery about me. Pfffft. No.

Also also, a lot of times people actually will respond to very personal questions that I ask. In fact, sometimes people that I hardly know will confide in me almost immediately. Not that I have a problem with that. I do prefer honesty, so if I'm going to know anything about someone, I'd much rather start with their darkest secrets. It's just an unusual thing, especially since it often comes with requests for advice on topics I'm probably unqualified to advise on.

Wakko Loves Awkward Mormon Girl

I said I probably wasn't going to go back to Comic Con. Yet I still went back to Comic Con.

Why did I?

I had a whole speech prepared for you about why, but then I reread my post about last year's Comic Con and realized that I had already shared literally everything I was going to say to justify my return:

In August, I told Porch that I might go to Comic Con if certain voice actors or Muppeteers ever came but that I couldn't think of any live-action actors I cared enough about to spend the money on. I've just never been that into movie stars. I would consider going to Comic Con to see Elijah Wood, but only because he did such a fantastic job voicing Wirt in Over the Garden Wall, not because he played one of the leading characters in a critically acclaimed and financially successful film adaptation of one of my favorite book series.

You might see where this is going. Because yes indeed, Wirt himself aka Elijah Wood decided to hie himself to Salt Lake Comic Con this very year. I waffled. I wavered. Finally, when Favorite Cousin declared his intention to go, I decided that, despite how much I'd disliked Comic Con's atmosphere the year before, I would join him.

I also decided, after some agony, to take Friday from work and do two whole days of Comic Con instead of just one. For one thing, I thought that if I were less rushed, I'd have a more enjoyable experience. For another thing, the price of a Saturday pass was barely less than the price of a multi-day one. Might as well upgrade.

Last time, I pretty much saw only Evanna Lynch. I didn't attend any panels featuring big names. This time, I intended to catch as many celebrities as I could. I wouldn't just ogle the likes of Billy Boyd and Jeremy Shada from afar. I would meet or see as many people whom I admired as possible! Dick van Dyke panel? Yes please! Stalk Jodi Benson? Wouldn't miss it! Jess Harnell autograph? Faboo!

So on Friday, September 22nd (also Frodo and Bilbo's birthdays), Favorite Cousin and I went to Comic Con bright and early. Parking was a nightmare, so we had to walk approximately 10,000 blocks to get from the car to the convention center. The good news was that meant exercise. The bad news was it also meant freezing because Utah decided it would be fun to skip over fall and start in on winter.

Eventually, though, we got where we were going. The idea had been to attend Dick van Dyke's panel first thing. Except the night before, Dick van Dyke had canceled his panel, so we weren't sure what we were actually going to do. Except as we entered the convention center, it was announced that Dick van Dyke's panel was un-canceled! Wonderful! We hurried to the ballroom to get good seats.

By the way, there's this guy at Comic Con who apparently is always stationed in the ballroom. We saw him there last year whilst waiting for an Ian Somerhalder panel that Favorite Cousin wanted to see (we had to leave before Ian showed up, though). I remembered Ballroom Guy from last year because of his terrible puns and showing off his socks and trying to encourage everybody to dance randomly. I liked his socks, but we didn't want to dance randomly, so we sat there in uncomfortable silence while the cameras captured the people around us dancing.

And then guess what?

Dick van Dyke, that's what!

I got a bit of a video of the panel, but now that the Blogger app is finally defunct, I haven't been able to figure out a way to get videos off my phone and into the blog. However, here are some things that happened at the panel:

• The interviewer asked Dick van Dyke if there was anyone he wanted to work with. He replied, quite flippantly, "Oh, I don't know. Most of them, I did."
• He spoke of the upcoming Mary Poppins. In the original movie, he was made up to play the ancient bank owner. He's playing the new bank owner in the upcoming movie, but he doesn't understand why he has to wear makeup this time: "They're making a 91-year-old man look like a 91-year-old man." He said that this time, he's also being chained to an accent coach. "After 60 years of bad jokes, maybe I'm off the hook for my Cockney accent."
• He was quite excitable and adorable. At some point, he got up on his feet with excitement to talk about a Bert animatronic he'd gotten from Disney World. He laughs with an open-mouthed Muppet laugh, just like in his movies.
• He talked at length about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. He said that "Me Ol' Bamboo" was a very difficult number to film and that it needed about thirty takes. He said that "You Two" was his favorite song in the film, and he rhapsodized about how much he loved driving Chitty Chitty.
• He commented on the animated penguin portion of the original Mary Poppins and how much it blew him away. "Penguins are good dancers, too."
• He said that he never worked on anything he wouldn't want his kids to watch.
• The interviewer asked Mr. van Dyke how he felt when he realized that he's brought so much happiness to so many people. He responded warmly, saying, "I've just had the best time I can imagine."

Later in the day, we also went to a Back to the Future panel featuring Christopher Lloyd and Tom Wilson. I mostly wanted to hear Christopher Lloyd (another Over the Garden Wall star), but as it turned out Tom Wilson was quite funny.

So that was fun!

But that's not all! I also had oodles of fun stalking some great people!

First I stalked Heather Dixon. Heather Dixon is an awesome artist who writes this blog. She said on Instagram that she would be at Comic Con and that anyone who stopped by and mentioned the post got a free 5x7 print. Which I guess means that it wasn't stalking since I was sort of invited to come find her.

But either way, I was like, "Yes, Heather Dixon! I will come to your Comic Con booth! But because I want to meet you, not necessarily because I want your art!" Because honestly guys, Heather Dixon seems like the coolest.

Following the Dick van Dyke panel, I dragged Favorite Cousin over to Artist's Alley. After some confusion, I found Heather Dixon's booth!

And then we talked! I told her that I'd seen her post on Instagram, and she asked if she was following me on Instagram!

And I was like, "What the what, Heather Dixon?! Why would you ever want to follow little old me on Instagram?!"

But she totally did! Right there!

Then she asked me what print I wanted, and I chose one of her beautiful Cinderella prints! (Cinderella was my favorite princess when I was two, so sometimes when I have to pick a more classic Disney character, I go for her.)

It quickly became clear that I'd lied to myself about wanting to meet Heather Dixon more than I wanted Heather Dixon's art, because I kept looking and looking at that pretty thing and squealing a little bit inside.

Then I stalked Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel and Thumbelina aka my entire childhood. That one was definitely stalking—see how creepy this photo is?

I also stalked Corbin Bernsen of Psych fame a little bit. Favorite Cousin took a stalker photo of some actress whose name I can't remember (I just remembered... it's Eliza Dushku). I pretended to be reading a sign to give him an excuse to stand near her booth and covertly snap an image.

After that, I decided to get an autograph from the one and only Jess Harnell! I used to like Animaniacs as a kid, and I rewatched it last year. My brothers and I were Yakko, Wakko, and Dot for Halloween 2016. I also heard that Jess Harnell is the nicest and that he loves Salt Lake Comic Con beyond reason (he came last year as well, and he keeps bringing his band, Rock Sugar, with him). So, I figured, not a bad celebrity to meet!

I wasn't sure whether I wanted a picture or an autograph, but I finally settled on an autograph because they had a super cute print of the Warner brothers (and the Warner sister) for Jess to sign. Favorite Cousin, bless his soul, agreed to wait in line with me even though he had no idea who Jess Harnell was and had no intention of getting his autograph.

As I listened to Jess talk to all the people ahead of us, I grew very excited. He had something kind and special to say to everyone. I heard him talk to a little boy in a Wakko voice, even using the word "faboo."

Then it was my (our) turn!!!

Jess Harnell looked at me and said, "Hello, pretty girl. What's your name?"

I told him, and he said something like, "What a beautiful name. I don't hear that name very often, but when I do, I think it's so pretty."

He asked who Favorite Cousin was. He asked us if we were going to any of his panels or to the after party where Rock Sugar was playing. "Come on, Awkward Mormon Girl. Come on, Favorite Cousin!"

Then he leaned over to sign the print of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, saying something along the lines of, "Well, let's say..." And then he started using Wakko's very own voice, and said, "Wakko loves Awkward Mormon Girl, and not just because she's adorable!"

I died. Died. DIED. So dead! I was flustered with delight as he wrote "Wakko loves Awkward Mormon Girl!" and signed the print.

Then he asked if I was an Animaniacs fan, and I said that I was. He asked if I'd heard that they were making more episodes, and I said I had, and then I mentioned that my brothers and I had dressed as the Warners for Halloween. Jess seemed to like that and said he wanted to see a photo of that sometime.

Now here's where I messed up a bit. It seemed like Jess was about to either ask me to tweet a photo of the costumers at him or come back next year to Comic Con and show him a photo then, but I cut him off by blurting, "I can show it to you right now!"

Swiftly I brought up the photo, but as I did, I realized that I was probably being disrespectful of Jess's time and of the people waiting in line behind me. So I felt flushed and embarrassed when I handed my phone to him. He looked at the photo for a minute, laughed, and said, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh"—though he didn't say "gosh"—"I love the mini-me!" (Baby Brother.) Then we said our goodbyes and thanked him and hustled away.

Here's the thing about me: I don't care what everybody thinks of me, but when I do care about what someone thinks of me, I really care. And I did care what Jess Harnell thought of me, because I admire his talent, so I felt pretty dumb thinking of how I basically forced him to look at that Halloween photo.

However, I did tweet about meeting Jess Harnell, and he liked the tweet shortly thereafter. So I felt better and like maybe I hadn't been as cringey as I'd thought.

Also, the Seamstress pointed out that since Rob Paulsen (Yakko) had retweeted my photo of my brothers and I dressed as Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, our costumes had the official approval of two out of three Warner siblings. Neat!

The Not-So-Cute Meet Cute

Just so you know, I met a Canadian today.

Not what I want to talk about, though.

As you may have inferred, I'm working on a writing project related to Verona. Thus today I was sitting at a poolside, meeting a Canadian, and reading the scene in Romeo and Juliet where the teenage lovers meet. As a bit of research, that is.

That's how I discovered something shocking: the meeting of arguably the most famous couple in literature is not cute.

See, Romeo sees Juliet from across the room. He asks a servant who she is, comments on her super hot appearance, and then walks up to her and starts talking about kissing. And then they kiss. And then they discover that their parents hate each other forever.

Contrast that to how I met a Canadian today. This middle-aged Canadian woman and I met at the pool. She offered me a place at her table. I asked her where she was from. She said Canada. She asked me where I was from. I said Utah. I said I was attending a family event, and she said she was visiting friends. Then we didn't talk anymore.

That meeting is probably cuter than Romeo and Juliet's meeting. Just saying.

P. S. I'm in Arizona.

The Six-Month Ailment

I am woefully behind for the month. This is the fifth blog post I have worked on this month but only the third that I have published. I am also woefully behind in my personal life, but that's neither here nor there.

Back in April, the Seamstress passed out in the foyer of the local temple. This happened the same week that I saw my doctor for my migraines. The doctor had asked if either of my roommates suffered from dizziness or migraines. After this incident, I began to wonder if there really was an environmental factor. But as it turned out, the Seamstress hadn't eaten as much that day as she should have, which was probably why she fainted. When she woke up, lots of people dressed entirely in white were hanging around her. That's how we do in the temple, but I imagine after taking a fall it could have been quite startling. I probably would have assumed that I was dead. (The Seamstress probably didn't assume that she was dead because she is often much more sensible than I am in drastic situations.)

The temple foyer has a marble floor, and while the Seamstress mercifully did not hit her head on the marble, she did hit her arm. She got emergency care, and the conclusion that was reached was that the elbow was probably bruised. She wore her arm in a sling for a few days, iced her aching elbow, and continued on her merry way.

For six months, the Seamstress did such things as rock climbing, dancing, swimming, and boating. Her elbow hurt on and off, but she didn't think much of it. Finally, she decided to see another doctor.

As it turns out, the Seamstress has had a broken elbow for literally six months.

Apparently in this house none of us responds in a timely, appropriate fashion to medical problems involving the joints.

My Review of the All the Phase One Marvel Movies

After I decided that I was more into Marvel movies last year, my brothers also got into Marvel movies. When Baby Sister moved out, Little Brother moved into her old room (which was previously my old room), and Baby Brother got his own room. My parents let him decorate it, so now it's an Avengers-themed room.

His favorites are Captain America and Spider-man. Those are also my favorites. (Our mom's favorite is Falcon because she thinks Anthony Mackie is attractive.)

We also decided to watch all relevant Marvel movies in order before Infinity Wars comes out. We just barely started Phase Two, so I thought I'd give my thoughts about Phase One.

Iron Man: An all right intro to the franchise, but it didn't blow me away. The entire movie kind of dragged. Tony Stark is a fun character, but he's better with friends.

Iron Man 2: Black Widow is a welcome addition here. (Like I said, Tony Stark is better with friends.) The movie dragged a lot less than its predecessor. Justin Hammer might be my favorite Marvel villain.

Thor: Lots of fun moments. I don't find either Thor or Loki to be very compelling characters, though. Best part of the movie was Hawkeye's introduction IMO. Also, this one is much harder to follow if you're not familiar with the comics, advanced physics, or Norse mythology.

Captain America: The First Avenger: Utterly heartwarming, though the subtitle of the movie should more accurately be "Sneaking Patriotically into Buildings." As I said previously, the big issue is that it doesn't feel like an entire real movie. It's more like an appetizer for The Avengers, and although lots of fun characters are introduced, most of them don't get to do anything.

The Avengers: This movie is the superhero movie that made me care about superhero movies. Each hero has an actual personality and character traits. The movie does a nice job of handling the ensemble cast of heroes. Some cool shots, great dialogue, good scenes.

Darn You, Childhood Passions

Little Sister sent me an email yesterday entitled "Darn you, Childhood Passions":

Gosh dang it. I've been betrayed by my teenage love of virtual pets!