Wirth It

Context: This post is about my second day at Comic Con 2017.

I've been wondering lately: why is Comic Con a thing?

Think about it. We go to this massive event in hopes of seeing some random people most of us have never seen personally or met before and will probably never see personally or meet again. And we don't just go—some sacrifice ludicrous amounts of time and money to do it.

Why do we even care? Why does it matter?

I think we do it because humans are reciprocal creatures. These people have touched our lives from beyond the page or in front of the camera. Some of them have even indirectly changed us. So we go seeking them in hopes that in some way, we might return the favor. We want to be part of their lives the way they're part of ours, even if we only shake their hands or tell them our names or stand beside them for a ten-second photo op.

After day one, Heather Dixon, and Jess Harnell, it was day two with Elijah Wood, the voice of Wirt.

A little background: one time when I was younger, my second cousin told me that I had Elijah Wood's eyes. You know, big. Blue. Intense. I could see it, but I also had my doubts. Now, years later, I had the perfect way to settle the question. The plan was that after I got my picture taken with Elijah Wood, I would be able to look directly at the photo and compare our eyes.

Well, guess what? Towards the end of our first day at Comic Con, my eye started swelling. I assumed it was allergies, so I took a six-hour generic of Benadryl. That seemed to help a little, but the next morning my eye was still somewhat swollen.

I don't like having a swollen eye on any day, but it was especially bothersome on this day of all days when I was going to get a photo op with Elijah Wood. I couldn't have my eyes swelling when I needed them be nice and normal so that I could determine if I actually did have Elijah Wood's eyes! Ya know? So I took another pill for good measure.

Satisfied that the crisis was averted, I proceeded to get myself ready for the day. I was wearing a new Over the Garden Wall shirt that I'd purchased especially for the occasion. Not being able to say hello during our photo op last year was abnormal. Favorite Cousin told me that his experience was that usually you got to exchange greetings with the celebrity before the photo. With this in mind, I'd spawned a second but almost-as-important photo op plan: Elijah Wood would see my shirt as we approached him, and he'd say, "Nice shirt!" Because how could the voice of Wirt not appreciate a shirt with Wirt on it, I ask you?! It was a brilliant plan. Foolproof.

Our photo op wasn't until the afternoon, so Favorite Cousin and I started our day by hitting Elijah Wood's panel.

News flash: Elijah Wood's normal-person voice is just Wirt's voice!

I had no idea! He's faking that prissy Frodo accent in The Lord of the Rings, so I didn't know what his regular voice was like. But I grabbed a few videos of him and it basically just sounds like Wirt talking and aaaaaah it's amazing.

I was really excited to hear more about Elijah's work on Over the Garden Wall. This was Comic Con, so I figured everybody would be into some really obscure stuff. But no. No. Almost every question was about The Lord of the Rings. And I was just like, "People! There are literally hours and hours of bonus material about these films that you can find on the Special Feature menu on your DVDs! There is many an interview about them! There is at least one book about them that I know of! I already know the answer to most of these questions, and so should you! Ask Elijah Wood some questions about things we don't already know everything about!"

But alas, as this tirade was completely in my head, it did no good. Almost every question was about The Lord of the Rings, and Elijah Wood got kind of awkward about it. He said it was hard to "articulate" (he probably said the word "articulate" like ten times), and I think he even said that being a part of filming the series was kind of isolating because so few people could relate to the unique experience.

After that, Favorite Cousin and I puttered around a bit. We shopped for Captain America t-shirts and Hogwarts watches. We looked at many a piece of artwork and ate funnel cake, if memory serves.

Then it was time for our photo op.

I kept thinking that some kind of disaster would strike, but it didn't. We got in line behind these people who were dressed in impressive full-on Tolkien elf costumes, ears and everything. Who does that?! They do that, apparently.

Last year, Evanna Lynch was trying to catch a flight, we were super-rushed through the line. Like I said, we weren't allowed to really talk to Evanna or anything.

I guess that memory made Favorite Cousin determined not to waste any of Elijah Wood's time, because when we were still a few people back in line, he turned to me and asked what side of the picture I wanted to be on.

It seemed like we would have a minute to figure that out when we got to the front of the line, but no big deal. We got closer...and closer...and closer.

The elves strode up to Elijah Wood. He looked at them and said something like, "Nice costumes, guys!"

He was totally going to compliment my shirt! I just knew it.

Then it was our turn. Favorite Cousin rushed forward...and so did I.

"Hi—oh. Okay," said Elijah Wood. We were on either side of him before he could even look at us...or at our shirts.

Noooo!

We got our photo. Then, to be polite, I said, "Thank you!"

Then Elijah Wood looked at me. I was just a couple inches shorter than him, so I got a full-on blast of the famous eyes.

And...whoooaaa. I was stunned. They were so blue. So intense and mesmerizing. I was, like, frozen solid for a second or two under the sheer force of them.

"Oh," he said. He sounded as dazed as I felt, but he also sounded confused. "You're welcome."

And then...it was over. Favorite Cousin and I went to claim our photo. While I was let down that Elijah Wood hadn't even seen my shirt, I was excited to compare his eyes to mine in the photo. Plus he'd looked me right in the eye and talked to me, so that was cool! Except he'd been so dazed and confused! Why was he so dazed and confused?

As we waited, I told Favorite Cousin about my plan to compare my eyes with Elijah Wood's. Favorite Cousin understood and seemed to think this was important. When we claimed our photos, he helped me conduct the comparison.

My assessment was that our eyes were similar, except that mine were greener and looked a lot darker.

Favorite Cousin agreed. In fact... "It almost looks in the picture like your pupils are dilated."

Wait. What? "Are they dilated now?"

He said that they were.

What the—I contacted my mother the RN. Was it possible that dilated eyes were a side effect of Benadryl generics?

As it turned out, it was possible. It was factual. My eyes were really dilated, I discovered upon looking in a mirror.

I remembered how dazed and confused Elijah Wood had seemed.

I'd gotten a really good look at his eyes. He must have gotten a really good look at mine.

Although I'll never know for sure, I have a sneaking suspicion that Elijah Wood was so dazed and confused because he saw my dilated eyes and thought I was stoned.

If that's the case, though, at least I did make an impression...it just wasn't with my t-shirt.