In Which I Do Not Seduce Anyone

Baby Sister has a starring role in a play. She shines and glitters on that stage like the star that she is.

(Little Sister just said, "Stop your blog post! Right now!"

And then I did, and she said, "Write down what I say!"

And she said, "Baloney cheese purple strudel."

Now she is telling us her dream where her friend married a dolphin in Florida. I'm just gonna leave that there.)

Ah, the theatre. The smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the crowd, and all that. Though honestly, I've been doing theatre for twelve years and I don't even know what greasepaint is (I assume it's some kind of makeup). And the crowd doesn't really roar. Mostly it just sits there in a judgmental silence punctuated by the occasional cough.

Also, little-known but important theatrical fact: mic tape is of the devil.

After the show, the cast mingled with the crowd in the Hometown High foyer. The Hometown High foyer was built in the fifties, but it has this identity crisis where it thinks it's actually part of Ancient Greece. There are pillars everywhere.

As I watched Baby Sister greet her admirers, I couldn't help but remember back in high school when Runner Bean came to see one of my musicals.

Oh, Runner Bean. I liked him a lot. I didn't quite know what to do with myself around him. On this particular occasion, when he greeted me after the show, he leaned against a pillar, facing me, and I ended up stepping really close, and then the following words flew out of my mouth:

"If you stand there, people will think I'm seducing you or something."

And then I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him so that it no longer looked like I had pinned him against the pillar.

I said this. I did this. And to my eternal mortification, it cannot be unsaid or undone. And every time I look at the foyer pillars at Hometown High, I will remember.

To his credit, Runner Bean laughed. In a slightly hysterical manner. Like he couldn't wait to escape me. But still, he laughed.

Bless that boy. He always made everything okay.

(P.S. In case you were wondering about the rest of Little Sister's dream, it went thusly:

"...and all of a sudden my friend came back from his vacation and he was a black man. The End.")