Oh the Suspense

When one of my professors asks me to meet with him next week, he either wants to discuss

A) my inability to pay attention in class for longer than four point six eight minutes.

B) how poorly written my last paper was because I spent like three minutes on it except shhh because he doesn't actually know about that part.

C) something completely unexpected but rather terrible. Like that he is going to kick me out of his class because I'm a scholarship student and DISCRIMINATION. Or because I'm a Mormon and DISCRIMINATION. Or because I'm one-eight Jewish and DISCRIMINATION. Or because unbeknownst to me, my last paper is completely identical to a well-known thesis on the same subject that somehow managed to get published (some surprisingly terrible things get published) and I am going to be kicked out of college for accidental plagiarizing.

D) I am his favorite student and he wishes to give me an award and a penguin is also a possibility, but I tend to gravitate towards the negative in this instance.

You know that scene in the third Harry Potter where Hermione bursts into tears because the boggart turns into Professor McGonagall and tells her that she's failed everything?

Yeaaaah...Hermione and I have something in common here. I can't even begin to tell you how many dreams I've had where I fail college because I haven't been going to my math class THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT.