Give Me a Hint

We call the inability to decide "wembling." And by "we," I mean me and the fraggles. And by fraggles, I mean fraggles, the most delightful of creatures save hobbits. (Actually, I'm fairly certain that fraggles and hobbits are related somehow, because they have very similar cultures. But I digress.)

My favorite fraggle, Wembley, is so indecisive that he was named after his indecisiveness. He is so indecisive that he has difficulty choosing between two almost-identical shirts. He is so indecisive that when his best friend asks, "What do you want to do?" Wembley responds, "Can you give me a hint?"

Now, I am not an indecisive person.

I know what I want. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I just know. I was built with a homing device, it seems, that leads me to my desires like a bee to its hive or a salmon to its ancestral spawning ground.

I know what I want, unless I don't. Because after every ninety-ninth moment of decisiveness, there is one moment of indecisiveness. I am unused to indecisiveness; therefore, I do not handle it well.

So when some kind souls gave me a $50 Amazon gift card for Valentine's Day, and when I subsequently realized that I couldn't think of a single thing I truly wanted, it triggered my indecisive skillz, big-time. I have become nothing but a mass of floundering, wembling jelly.

I could get a new dress. There's this dress on Amazon that I was, indeed, eyeing a few weeks ago. But I decided to buy a different dress that was less expensive and which I could try on and buy, personally, from a physical store. To buy another dress would be overindulgence, and not the pleasant kind, but the wasteful kind.

There's this orange toaster on Amazon which I kind of like. But it seems terribly anticlimactic to spend such a thoughtful gift on a boring kitchen appliance.

I don't have many DVDs, so I could get one of those. But I did get three new movies for Christmas, and besides, I spent my last Amazon gift card on the first two seasons of Rocky and Bullwinkle. It would be better to get something different this time.

Best Friend Boy said, "Get a book." But I have so many books. Not that you can ever have too many. It's just that every time I splurge, I buy myself a book. Shouldn't I spend a gift of $50 on something I wouldn't normally be able to afford?

Porch said, "You could buy groceries." Lol no.

I need help. I need lots of help. What should I buy? In the words of Wembley Fraggle, give me a hint. Ready...go.