Friday, February 19, 2016

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I was in the shower when the power went out.

In times of panic, I tend to become a strange combination of logical and illogical. Logic won the day first. I asked myself, quite calmly, if there were any reason that I should get out of the shower when the power went out.

I answered back, just as calmly, that there was no reason why I shouldn't continue shampooing my hair. So I kept massaging my scalp, cool as you please.

I reached for the conditioner but only managed to knock over what sounded like a razor. It sounded like said razor had landed on the bathroom floor.

ME: What if I step on that razor when I get out of the shower?

ALSO ME: What if a killer creeps into this bathroom under cloak of darkness and muffler of running water?

ME: What if the Woman in Black?!?!

Shower time was definitely over. I turned off the water, carefully stepped out of the shower, and felt around for my towel.

Wrapped in the towel, I padded through the apartment, trying the light switches. The power was well and truly out. Occasionally our breaker gets flipped by our space heaters, so I thought someone should check out the fuse box. And, since I was the only one home, that someone would have to be me.

I made my way to the boiler room.

ME: What if my roommates came home right now and saw me wearing only a towel?

ALSO ME: Actually, they probably wouldn't be able to see you.

ME: Good point.

I went into the boiler room and, by the light of my cell phone, found the fuse box. Then, by the skill of tugging at things until something happened, I managed to open it. The Seamstress usually flips the breaker, so I had no idea what I was doing. I flipped some switches, but the lights stayed off.

I texted the Seamstress in hopes that she could tell me what to do. Then I went to the bathroom to get the clean pajamas I had set aside for after my shower. I changed in my room, where a little moonlight came through the window. For a minute I thought there was another, phosphorescent light source in the room, but then I realized it was just my body.

I figured I'd better double check that my roommates weren't home. Maybe they were asleep in their rooms? I stepped outside to see if their cars were there. They weren't.

When I came back inside, I noticed that I'd left the boiler room door open...and a blue light was flashing from within.

ME:...what is that?

ALSO ME: Do I want to know what that is?

ME: I don't want to know what that is.

Knowing that I had to face the terrible flashing light, I felt my way back to my room to get my phone. Because if a mysterious blue flashing light kills you for confronting it, you can at least get some photographic evidence of it first, and isn't that a comfort?

I crept as close to as I dared and inspected the source using the light of my phone. I discovered that the blue flashing light wasn't something awful like the Woman in Black. Nor did it have anything to do with the power outage. It was a light to tell me that the pilot light in the water heater was still burning, as if I hadn't just come out of a hot shower and was totally aware that there was nothing wrong with the water.

Relieved but frustrated, I headed to bed. But then I heard a key rattling in the lock.

In the darkness, I faced the door. "Hello?"

No answer.

ME: Hello?

The door opened.

THE SEAMSTRESS: Sorry I didn't answer your text; I was driving.

She began to fuss over the breaker and announced that it wasn't the source of the power outage. Then, wonderfully practical as she is, she lit candles and offered me one.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: No thanks; I'm going to bed.

Except what I apparently meant to say is, "I'm going to write a blog post about this!" Because that's what I did. And, as the power came back on shortly after, I didn't even need a candle.

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