Excitement and Things Like It

Excitement makes me want to throw up.

It didn't used to be that way, you know? I used to just feel good old, plain old excitement. No need to upchuck. No hyperventilating. No worries about possible spontaneous explosion. Just an emotion as frothy and as delicious as the fizz of a soda.

Nowadays, though, my excitement is inexplicably linked to the way my stomach feels. The more excited I get, the more my stomach just wants to toss back everything I ate.

Excitement isn't the only thing that makes me want to throw up. Nervousness makes me want to throw up. So does concern. So does food poisoning. So does the flu.

Sometimes I get ticked off with myself. Because although I can't always avoid getting food poisoning or the flu, I feel like I should be able to avoid getting so excited or so nervous or whatever. The scolding part of me thinks that if I was really mature, I wouldn't get so ridiculously emotional over anything.

The generous part of me, however, thinks differently. It thinks that feeling things strongly is good. It thinks that it doesn't matter how emotional I get, as long as those emotions don't cripple me or hold me back. It thinks that being mature is learning to cope with strong feelings, not avoiding them altogether. After all, feeling stuff is part of being human.

Still. Sometimes I wish I were a little less human. It might be nice, for instance, to be a sofa. I'm sure sofas never get overly excited or nervous. They probably never get the stomach flu, either.