Friday, May 30, 2014

An Actual Thing I Actually Wrote

I wrote this beauty of a screenplay about the Industrial Age for a history class in eighth grade.

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE A STAGECOACH ON YOUR WAY HOME FROM WORK
A Somewhat Accurate Screenplay


SCENE ONE

(Camera fades from black onto scene in the McCall home. It is their son, Jamie’s, ninth birthday, and they are celebrating with cake and assorted presents. Jamie, his parents, and his two little sisters are all having a grand old time.)

NARRATOR: Jamie McCall was always a very happy boy. He had a mother, a father, and two sisters.

(cut to Jamie)

JAMIE: Oh Mother, I wish I could stay this happy forever!

NARRATOR: But it was not to be. (cut to Jamie’s father) One day, Jamie’s father died quite suddenly.

JAMIE’S FATHER: (dies)

JAMIE: (as camera cuts to him; blinking) Wow... that was quick.

JAMIE’S SISTERS: Father! No!

JAMIE: (realizes he should imitate them and does) Father! NO! (throws himself onto his father’s body, sobbing)

(cuts to next day)

JAMIE’S MOTHER: Jamie, now that your father is gone, you must be the man of the house. You will have to support us.

NARRATOR: Jamie’s family kissed him goodbye and away he went to look for work.

(Camera cuts to Jamie, who is standing in the road, looking hopelessly lost.)

(Camera cuts to a stagecoach that goes by.)

JAMIE: Excuse me, stagecoach driver. Where is a factory where I can get a job?

STAGECOACH DRIVER: Just down the road. You’ll find it.

JAMIE: Thank you.

(Camera cuts to the stagecoach as it passes down the road out of sight. The people inside of it are being jostled.)

NARRATOR: Stagecoach traveling in the early eighteen hundreds was awfully uncomfortable. Unfortunately, better methods were hard to find, and most would not start coming into use for a while.

JAMIE: Wow... that looks awfully uncomfortable...

(Camera fades into black.)

SCENE TWO

(Camera fades from black to see a slightly run-down factory building that is chugging smoke into the sky. Cut to Jamie, who knocks on the door.)

FACTORY OWNER: Yes?

JAMIE: I need a job.

FACTORY OWNER: Come right this way. (leads Jamie down a long passageway to a room full of loud, whirring machines)

NARRATOR: Early factories were quite noisy. (cut to factory owner and Jamie, standing across from each other)

FACTORY OWNER: Now, what you will have to do is-

JAMIE: What? I can’t hear you!

FACTORY OWNER: What did you just say? I didn’t hear you.

JAMIE: What?

FACTORY OWNER: Speak louder!

JAMIE: WHAT?

FACTORY OWNER: SPEAK LOUDER!

JAMIE: Huh?

FACTORY OWNER: What?

JAMIE: (opens his mouth)

FACTORY OWNER: Never mind. (turns to the factory workers) EVERYBODY TURN OFF THEIR MACHINES!

FACTORY WORKERS: (as camera cuts to them) WHAT?

FACTORY OWNER: (groans, then leads Jamie out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them)

(cut to hallway)

FACTORY OWNER: Listen, kid, all you’ve got to do is watch for threads on your machine that break. When they do, stop it and tie them back together.

JAMIE: All right. I can do that.

(camera fades into black)

SCENE THREE

(fade from black into factory workroom. Camera focuses on Jamie)

NARRATOR: So Jamie got down to work on his machine, called a spinning jenny.

JAMIE: Why a spinning jenny? Why not a spinning Nancy? A spinning Rose? A spinning Claudia?

NARRATOR: Ahem. So Jamie got down to work on his machine, called a spinning jenny.

JAMIE: Oh, sorry. (starts working)

(He scans the factory workroom, the camera showing us what he sees. Two women operate the machines across from him, their long hair tied back. To the right of Jamie’s machine a girl his age operates a machine, and on the left, a badly coughing teenage boy works slowly. Farther away, Jamie spots other workers. They are all dressed from middling to poor classes.)

(camera cuts to a close-up of Jamie’s machine. A thread snaps. Cut to Jamie)

JAMIE: (stops machine and ties thread back together, fumbling. A few minutes later, he starts it up again.) Whew! Glad that’s done.

(cut to close-up of machine; another thread snaps. Cut to Jamie)

JAMIE: (stops machine, ties it back together, restarts machine)

(cut to machine- two different threads snap. Cut to Jamie- as he reaches to stop the machine, various other threads snap too)

JAMIE: AURGHHH! All of the threads on my spinning Elizabeth are breaking!

NARRATOR: Then, something belonging to the girl on Jamie’s right got stuck in her machine.

JAMIE: Oh no! Was it her nose? Her fingers? Her hair? Is she dead? I can’t stand the sight of blood!

GIRL: (screams in agony. Camera cuts to her, writhing.) My- my- my- pet spider is DEAD!

(cut to Jamie, who looks relieved but puzzled)

JAMIE: Oh...?

(cut to girl- her long, dirty hair hangs in her face)

GIRL: Yes!

(cuts to side angle that allows us to view them both)

JAMIE: A spider...?

GIRL: Yes! He got caught in the machine. I trained him so I would have something to do when I wasn’t working.

JAMIE: Isn’t there something else you could do?

GIRL: Some other people tack pieces of paper to the frames of their machines to read while they work, but I can’t read.

JAMIE: Oh... (turns away, mumbling) What a strange place this factory is!

(fade into black)

SCENE FOUR

(fade from black)

NARRATOR: At the end of the week, Jamie received his pay and prepared to take it home to his family.

(cut to Jamie, exiting factory)

JAMIE: Won’t Mother be happy! (stops to rub his feet) My feet hurt after walking to and from work everyday. Maybe I should take a stagecoach.

(cut to road- stagecoach conveniently arrives)

JAMIE: (jumps aboard) Hang on, Mr. Stagecoach Driver, while I get my money out. I’ll pay you in a minute.

STAGECOACH DRIVER: All right, then. (cracks his whip) HI-YAH!

(cut to horses- they begin to trot quickly down the street)

(cut to Jamie as he opens his moneybag and dumps the coins into his palm to find the right amount)

(cut to the road as the stagecoach’s wheel hits a pothole)

(cut to Jamie as he goes flying from the stagecoach as it bounces)

JAMIE: AUUUUURRRGGGHHH! (hits road; his coins roll from his hand)

TRAMPS: (pick up Jamie’s coins)

JAMIE: No! Don’t! (tries to stop the tramps, to no avail)

(Camera begins to fade as we watch Jamie searching for any last coins in the mud)

NARRATOR: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never take a stagecoach on your way home from work.

THE END

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