Thursday, August 14, 2014

Happy Twenty-Fourth of July (Three Weeks Late)

I spent this twenty-fourth of July/Pioneer Day driving back from Nauvoo. It was exactly like the Oregon Trail, which I know because I've played the game Oregon Trail, which is a pretty accurate representation of what the trip home was like. Except nobody died or contracted malaria, not even Little Sister, who has the immune system of a carcass.

My family spent the twenty-fourth honoring our pioneer ancestors by crossing in a matter of days the same stretch of terrain they struggled, starved, and sweated across for months.

To further show our appreciation for those pioneer souls, we not only followed in their footsteps, but we did it in relative comfort.

And with air conditioning.

Yup...they must really hate us right now.

I really did miss the Hometown carnival (particularly the fried bread), which got me thinking that the Twenty-Fourth of July really should be celebrated outside of Utah. All we really need to do is make it the coolest holiday ever by dreaming up even more ways to celebrate it, and it will surely catch on in the other 49 states and also Canada.

I'm thinking that some Pioneer Day cards would really spice things up. They'd be like Valentine's Day cards, but with pioneers.

A sampling: I think you're wheely cool.

And: I just wanna be pioneer you.

And this classic: I like you so much that even if we were starving in the Rocky Mountains with the Donner Party, I wouldn't eat your corpse.

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