Everyone's all, "Wow, 2016 was the worst year ever!" However, that has not been my experience.
It hasn't been a perfect year by any means. My grandfather passed away, which was a hard trial for my family.
I'm not attached to many celebrities, so this year's celebrity deaths didn't affect me much. I was sad about Carrie Fisher, though.
OLDER SISTER: But now she can be with her mom!
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Actually, Debbie Reynolds is still alive.
OLDER SISTER: Really?!
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Yes!
I only knew that because of all the headlines that said things like, "Debbie Reynolds Speaks Out About Her Daughter's Death."
The next day, all the headlines said things like, "Debbie Reynolds Passes Away a Day After Her Daughter's Death."
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: ...JK.
Anywho.
2015 was a rough one for me. Happily, a lot of the things that loomed over my head in 2015 have now been resolved.
Plus, I have a real full-time job now! Say whaaat? By that token, if last year was Little Nemo in Slumberland, then this year was How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, except with less workplace romance.
So that was 2016. I am ringing in 2017 with some uncertainty on the table. What's in store for me next year? Don't know! Somewhat care. We'll see.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Friday, December 30, 2016
Hanukkahmas
Guess what, everybody?
Hanukkah and Christmas fell at the same time this year, that's what!
Celebrate them both, of course!
The first night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Eve. Older Sister's flight got in that morning. Then we had our annual tradition of lunch on Christmas Eve, followed by our other annual tradition of dinner, a nativity scene, and a slideshow of the previous year, all with extended family.
The second night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Day. That morning, we opened presents. I got a sushi cookbook, a sushi-making kit, chopsticks, and sushi pins, among other things.
We also sang and danced to songs from Fiddler on the Roof and Prince of Egypt. Rosebud's husband did a bottle dance. We picked Baby Brother up in a chair and danced with him around the living room. He hated it.
Hanukkah continues through New Year's Eve aka tomorrow. If you haven't celebrated and you want to, you still can. Although maybe you can't if you're not at least 1/8 Jewish. Maybe those are the rules.
Hanukkah and Christmas fell at the same time this year, that's what!
What's an ethnically 1/8 Jewish, religiously Christian girl to do?
Celebrate them both, of course!
The first night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Eve. Older Sister's flight got in that morning. Then we had our annual tradition of lunch on Christmas Eve, followed by our other annual tradition of dinner, a nativity scene, and a slideshow of the previous year, all with extended family.
The second night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Day. That morning, we opened presents. I got a sushi cookbook, a sushi-making kit, chopsticks, and sushi pins, among other things.
Then we all went to church.
Afterward, we visited with family and enjoyed our gifts.
On the third night of Hanukkah, the family went with Favorite Cousin to see La La Land. Favorite Cousin and I already saw it the week before, but Older Sister hadn't yet because the movie prices in New York City are too much for her modest arts administrator budget. (While we're on the subject, it's a pretty good movie. There's kind of a bait and switch where you think the movie is about how a person has to close their eyes to some harsh realities to make an arts career work, but surprise! At the end you realize it's actually about how a person has to close their eyes to some harsh realities to make a relationship work. Plus there's a dream ballet sequence and a couple other moments straight out of a film musical from the 50s or 60s. So that's fun/unexpected/odd.)
On the fourth night of Hanukkah, we saw the LDS church's production of Savior of the World. That was actually a really good Hanukkah activity, as the production is about Christ's lifetime and is therefore steeped in a lot of Jewish traditions.
On the fifth night of Hanukkah, we actually got around to celebrating Hanukkah. All of my immediate family came to my apartment, along with Little Sister's boyfriend, Rosebud and her husband, one of our cousins and her new husband, and another cousin's four-month-old baby, whom my parents was watching for the evening. Together, we celebrated. This meant a dinner of brisket, latkes, applesauce, challah bread, and less traditional foods...
...some Hanukkah tales...
...and playing dreidel! (Spoils pictured below.)
We also sang and danced to songs from Fiddler on the Roof and Prince of Egypt. Rosebud's husband did a bottle dance. We picked Baby Brother up in a chair and danced with him around the living room. He hated it.
Hanukkah continues through New Year's Eve aka tomorrow. If you haven't celebrated and you want to, you still can. Although maybe you can't if you're not at least 1/8 Jewish. Maybe those are the rules.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Pictures of Food I Ate in Disneyland
Like I've said before, when you're in Disneyland, you've got to pony up some money to try the food. The food is one of the best parts.
Unfortunately, this trip I forgot to take photos of my food until our last day in Disneyland. I cannot share the majesty of what I consumed those first two days, but I can at least show you what I had on the last one.
Unfortunately, this trip I forgot to take photos of my food until our last day in Disneyland. I cannot share the majesty of what I consumed those first two days, but I can at least show you what I had on the last one.
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| Tomato basil soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a raspberry rose macaron at the Jolly Holiday. The macaron a) was humongous and b) had actually fresh raspberries inside. Delicious! |
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| We went to the Bengal Barbecue twice on our trip because perfect. Here's a Safari Skewer. Bacon-wrapped asparagus with lemon juice squeezed on top...yum. |
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| Dinner at Café Orleans. I had a braised beef crepe with a pea purée (as you can see, I forgot to photograph it until I had already dug in). |
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| I already mentioned the beignet debacle. Luckily, my crepe wasn't terribly filling, so I was able to eat four out of five beignets. Which was extraordinarily happy, considering that these are not merely beignets...they're seasonal (candy cane) beignets. |
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Light the World
Well, I did it. I did 24 acts of service in 24 days...and I'm planning to do my final act of service tomorrow.
I learned a lot. I learned something about myself, which is that I serve people more than I think I do. There were days when I would do something for someone automatically, only to realize later that I had done an act of service. I'd sort of expected to have the opposite experience, where I was constantly forgetting to do an act of service each day. However, that wasn't the case. I can still do better! But it was heartening to realize that maybe I'm not the selfish brat I sometimes think I am.
I learned something about service itself. I had a couple of back-and-forths during this initiative about the ethics of doing an act of service but then sharing it online. For sure, that's not the usual way service ought to work. People don't need to know that you've served. In fact, it's often better if they don't. However, at some points during this initiative, I felt like the real service wasn't the service...the real service was sharing the service. Does that make sense? It seemed that the initiative was to inspire other people by showing them that there's still good in the world. Also to remind them of the true meaning of Christmas, and that the best way to show love for the Savior is often to show love to others. At least, that's how I interpret it.
I learned a lot. I learned something about myself, which is that I serve people more than I think I do. There were days when I would do something for someone automatically, only to realize later that I had done an act of service. I'd sort of expected to have the opposite experience, where I was constantly forgetting to do an act of service each day. However, that wasn't the case. I can still do better! But it was heartening to realize that maybe I'm not the selfish brat I sometimes think I am.
I learned something about service itself. I had a couple of back-and-forths during this initiative about the ethics of doing an act of service but then sharing it online. For sure, that's not the usual way service ought to work. People don't need to know that you've served. In fact, it's often better if they don't. However, at some points during this initiative, I felt like the real service wasn't the service...the real service was sharing the service. Does that make sense? It seemed that the initiative was to inspire other people by showing them that there's still good in the world. Also to remind them of the true meaning of Christmas, and that the best way to show love for the Savior is often to show love to others. At least, that's how I interpret it.
Friday, December 23, 2016
New Things I Did in Disneyland
The last time I went to Disneyland, I wrote about how you can never do everything there. Sure enough, even though this was my tenth or eleventh trip to Disneyland (I'm not sure exactly how many times I went as a small child), I still did things I'd never done before! Like:
1. Rope drop
Rope dropping is going to the park before it opens. You squish into a mass and wait for the rope to drop…literally. As soon as the rope is down, the eagerly waiting people diffuse into the park. We rope dropped on both the second and third days. Happily, the parks weren’t too crowded until Friday night, and combining that with our getting in early for the rope drop, we walked onto quite a few rides during our day in California Adventure.
2. See new shows
Little Brother was quick to inform me that the Christmas parade was the same one that had been going the last time we were in the park for Christmas, but neither of us had ever seen the Paint the Night parade, which is essentially a more finessed version of the Main Street Electrical Parade. If you haven’t seen the Main Street Electrical Parade, you can look it up. It walks a fine line between being very cool and very annoying. The first time I remember seeing it was at the tender age of two. We’d gone to Disneyland for Older Sister’s birthday. Older Sister fell asleep before the parade started, but I was awake for the whole thing, munching on the lavender bag of jelly beans our grandmother had bought me. At two, I found the parade to only be very cool. The very annoying part didn’t register until years later, when I listened to the parade song on a Disney soundtrack and realized that the music is a) very repetitive, b) lasts forever, and c) is synth. I don’t care much for synth unless it’s Owl City-style synth. Happily, the Paint the Night parade takes the electrical concept of the Main Street Electrical Parade but pairs it with a much less repetitive Owl City song.
California Adventure also did a new thing this year called the Festival of Holidays. This consisted of performances from all kinds of winter holiday traditions. There was a Jewish band called Mostly Kosher and Diwali dancers on the pier. There was also a street show called Viva Navidad that featured the three caballeros. It was mostly Spanish and Spanish-speaking holiday traditions…with a little samba thrown in as a nod to caballero Miguel. Not quite tapas and samba, but still somewhat culturally confusing.
3. Try new foods
Let me offer you some sound advice: if you’re going to go to Disneyland, you’ve got to shell out the money for the food. Don’t be a cheapskate. If you’re not going to eat, you might as well not go. Most of the food there is amazing, and it’s all part of the experience.
Because of the Festival of Holidays, there were temporary food booths all over the pier at California Adventure. These booths offered food from countries around the world. For lunch on the second day, we all dispersed and grabbed crab cakes, lamb and rice, turkey pot pies, sliders with cranberry sauce, tarts…all kinds of things.
We also tried lots of food at other locations. We went to a few of my family’s tried and true favorites, but overall we tried to go new places. This meant getting bacon-wrapped asparagus skewers at Safari Skewers; sandwiches, soup, hot chocolate, and pastries at the Jolly Holiday (a place my parents have never taken us because it looks pretty fancy, but it was actually cheaper than some of the burger joints in the park); and chowder and bisque at Harbour Galley. We grabbed churros with caramel dip at the Cozy Cone Motel. Little Brother tried a pickle and a corn dog. The Seamstress told us that she’d never had a Dole whip; she wanted to try one. So we avoided the super long Dole whip line by instructing her to purchase one from inside the Tiki Room waiting area.
“This is a Dole whip?” the Seamstress asked, surprised. She hadn’t realized Dole whips are an ice cream treat!
Also, on our last night, we had reservations at Café Orleans…and everybody ordered his or her own plate of beignets.
”…you guys do realize that each order comes with five, right?” our waitress asked.
We assured her that we did. It wasn’t until we actually each had a plate of five beignets in front of us that we realized maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Luckily, our waitress kindly (and without saying, “I told you so,”) provided boxes so that we could carry the fried cakes throughout the park with us.
4. Go on updated/new rides
Peter Pan, the Little Mermaid ride, Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Star Tours, the Matterhorn, Soarin’, Alice in Wonderland, Jungle Cruise, Big Thunder Mountain…all of these rides had been updated since last we were there. My favorite updates were 1) the temporary Star Wars update to Space Mountain and b) the updates to the Peter Pan ride! John, Michael, and Wendy actually flew!!!
In addition these updates, we checked out a few rides we’d never tried before. The Golden Zephyr, a little bullet plane-type ride, was one of them. We also tried Luigi’s Rollickin’ Roadsters, a ride where cars dance to Italian music.
5. Disney bound
Disney bounding means casual cosplay. You wear normal clothes that are reminiscent of a Disney character. On our last day, we all Disney bounded. I was the sorcerer’s apprentice in a red dress, blue tights with stars and moons, and yellow sneakers. Little Brother was Peter Pan, the Seamstress was Kim Possible, and Pepper was Moana.
6. Meet new friends
We met Moana! In case you were wondering how adorable she is…she’s very adorable. Although she took over the Aladdin’s Oasis area for her meet and greet, which was strange, but I suppose it’s only fair payback after Iago took over Disney World’s Enchanted Tiki Room.
We also met someone who frankly was almost more special. See, my parents have this VHS that we Obnoxiouses watch whenever we need a Disney fix. It’s called A Day at Disneyland. It was filmed in the early 90s, I think. There’s a segment at the Big Thunder Mountain Barbecue where a man dressed in an Old Western outfit plays the fiddle and sings a song that goes, “Turkey in the straw, ha ha ha. Turkey in the hay, hey hey hey!” He’s only in about 30 seconds of the whole show, but he has such a distinct voice and makes such funny faces that it’s an iconic moment for us.
A few years ago, when Little Sister went on a trip to Disneyland (with the Ladies’ Man family no less; Little Sister and the Ladies’ Man’s little sister are friends), Little Sister saw a guy playing the fiddle in Frontierland and mentioned the video to him. He said that he was the same guy and even played the song for them! Then he asked where they were from. When they said, “Utah,” he asked them if they knew any “Utah songs” and started playing Primary songs (songs that LDS children sing at church). It seemed to be his way of sharing that he, too, was LDS…since cast members aren’t supposed to talk about religion with guests and vice versa.
After that experience, we found out that this fella’s name is Farley. Farley the Fiddler.
On our first day in the park, we were walking through Frontierland on our way to Adventureland when we noticed a man with a fiddle talking to some other guests. He looked vaguely familiar…
We convened in hushed whispers. Was that Farley? Was it not? Should we ask him? Should we ask for a picture with him?
He could probably hear us, because he walked over and started talking to us. Sure enough, it was Farley! He asked us where we were from. When we said “Utah,” he asked, “Have we ever sung the Utah songs together? Let’s sing the Utah songs together.” Then we sang “Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree” and “Once There Was a Snowman.”
Then Farley invited us to help him do a rendition of “Twelve Days of Christmas” on his fiddle. He fiddled. We sang and did the silly actions he told us to do.
After we were over, he said, “You had fun with Farley! So what do they get?” he asked the guests he had been talking to before we came over.
“A sticker!” they cried. Sure enough, Farley gave us his own themed stickers. Wow!
7. Explore nooks and crannies
I got to see a couple new areas of the parks that I’d never seen before. For one thing, I’d never had to get fast passes before, because my parents usually do that. I hadn’t realized that the fast pass areas were like little themed grottos. At one point, I left the rest of the group to grab fast passes for Haunted Mansion Holiday.
Guess what? The fast pass area for the ride is legit creepy! There’s a wrought iron fence around it…tall shrubbery…and cemetery-style statues enclosing the fast pass kiosks. There’s also weird chiming music. I got in…got my fast passes…and got out!
We also found something that not even Little Brother knew about. First of all, you should know that my family has one particular Disneyland tradition that we honor above almost any other: Splash Mountain at night.
Hardly anyone goes on Splash Mountain at night. Getting soaking wet late at night is a cold experience, even in California. Plus, Fantasmic is usually playing on the Rivers of America, so the rides in the Frontierland/Critter Country/New Orleans Square area tend to be empty. Fantasmic wasn’t playing right now due to construction. However, as it was December (and a frigid fifty-something degrees), Splash Mountain was still empty. We went on it three times in rapid succession. My roommates, who initially seemed hesitant about the idea, seemed to be loving it by the time we slogged off the ride. (You have to slog when your shoes are that wet.)
It was ten minutes to close at that point. On our way out of the park, we stopped at bathrooms on New Orleans Square. While we were there, we heard a pre-recorded conversation that was playing from one of the false apartment fronts over the shops. Little Brother had told us that a lot of the buildings had recorded noises coming from them. However, during the day it’s too busy and loud in the park to hear most of them.
Well, we could clearly hear this conversation in the quiet of the closing park. It seemed to be a dramatic exchange between two people cooking a chicken. And it was hilarious. We’ve been quoting it ever since: “…the chicken that I entrusted to your care!” Little Brother has researched it since we got home, but he hasn’t found anyone online who has reported hearing that same conversation.
So there you go. Even I, a person who has gone to Disneyland many, many times, did things that I’d never done before. I’m telling you, you’ll never run out of things to do there. It’s simply not possible.
1. Rope drop
Rope dropping is going to the park before it opens. You squish into a mass and wait for the rope to drop…literally. As soon as the rope is down, the eagerly waiting people diffuse into the park. We rope dropped on both the second and third days. Happily, the parks weren’t too crowded until Friday night, and combining that with our getting in early for the rope drop, we walked onto quite a few rides during our day in California Adventure.
2. See new shows
Little Brother was quick to inform me that the Christmas parade was the same one that had been going the last time we were in the park for Christmas, but neither of us had ever seen the Paint the Night parade, which is essentially a more finessed version of the Main Street Electrical Parade. If you haven’t seen the Main Street Electrical Parade, you can look it up. It walks a fine line between being very cool and very annoying. The first time I remember seeing it was at the tender age of two. We’d gone to Disneyland for Older Sister’s birthday. Older Sister fell asleep before the parade started, but I was awake for the whole thing, munching on the lavender bag of jelly beans our grandmother had bought me. At two, I found the parade to only be very cool. The very annoying part didn’t register until years later, when I listened to the parade song on a Disney soundtrack and realized that the music is a) very repetitive, b) lasts forever, and c) is synth. I don’t care much for synth unless it’s Owl City-style synth. Happily, the Paint the Night parade takes the electrical concept of the Main Street Electrical Parade but pairs it with a much less repetitive Owl City song.
California Adventure also did a new thing this year called the Festival of Holidays. This consisted of performances from all kinds of winter holiday traditions. There was a Jewish band called Mostly Kosher and Diwali dancers on the pier. There was also a street show called Viva Navidad that featured the three caballeros. It was mostly Spanish and Spanish-speaking holiday traditions…with a little samba thrown in as a nod to caballero Miguel. Not quite tapas and samba, but still somewhat culturally confusing.
3. Try new foods
Let me offer you some sound advice: if you’re going to go to Disneyland, you’ve got to shell out the money for the food. Don’t be a cheapskate. If you’re not going to eat, you might as well not go. Most of the food there is amazing, and it’s all part of the experience.
Because of the Festival of Holidays, there were temporary food booths all over the pier at California Adventure. These booths offered food from countries around the world. For lunch on the second day, we all dispersed and grabbed crab cakes, lamb and rice, turkey pot pies, sliders with cranberry sauce, tarts…all kinds of things.
We also tried lots of food at other locations. We went to a few of my family’s tried and true favorites, but overall we tried to go new places. This meant getting bacon-wrapped asparagus skewers at Safari Skewers; sandwiches, soup, hot chocolate, and pastries at the Jolly Holiday (a place my parents have never taken us because it looks pretty fancy, but it was actually cheaper than some of the burger joints in the park); and chowder and bisque at Harbour Galley. We grabbed churros with caramel dip at the Cozy Cone Motel. Little Brother tried a pickle and a corn dog. The Seamstress told us that she’d never had a Dole whip; she wanted to try one. So we avoided the super long Dole whip line by instructing her to purchase one from inside the Tiki Room waiting area.
“This is a Dole whip?” the Seamstress asked, surprised. She hadn’t realized Dole whips are an ice cream treat!
Also, on our last night, we had reservations at Café Orleans…and everybody ordered his or her own plate of beignets.
”…you guys do realize that each order comes with five, right?” our waitress asked.
We assured her that we did. It wasn’t until we actually each had a plate of five beignets in front of us that we realized maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Luckily, our waitress kindly (and without saying, “I told you so,”) provided boxes so that we could carry the fried cakes throughout the park with us.
4. Go on updated/new rides
Peter Pan, the Little Mermaid ride, Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Star Tours, the Matterhorn, Soarin’, Alice in Wonderland, Jungle Cruise, Big Thunder Mountain…all of these rides had been updated since last we were there. My favorite updates were 1) the temporary Star Wars update to Space Mountain and b) the updates to the Peter Pan ride! John, Michael, and Wendy actually flew!!!
In addition these updates, we checked out a few rides we’d never tried before. The Golden Zephyr, a little bullet plane-type ride, was one of them. We also tried Luigi’s Rollickin’ Roadsters, a ride where cars dance to Italian music.
5. Disney bound
Disney bounding means casual cosplay. You wear normal clothes that are reminiscent of a Disney character. On our last day, we all Disney bounded. I was the sorcerer’s apprentice in a red dress, blue tights with stars and moons, and yellow sneakers. Little Brother was Peter Pan, the Seamstress was Kim Possible, and Pepper was Moana.
6. Meet new friends
We met Moana! In case you were wondering how adorable she is…she’s very adorable. Although she took over the Aladdin’s Oasis area for her meet and greet, which was strange, but I suppose it’s only fair payback after Iago took over Disney World’s Enchanted Tiki Room.
We also met someone who frankly was almost more special. See, my parents have this VHS that we Obnoxiouses watch whenever we need a Disney fix. It’s called A Day at Disneyland. It was filmed in the early 90s, I think. There’s a segment at the Big Thunder Mountain Barbecue where a man dressed in an Old Western outfit plays the fiddle and sings a song that goes, “Turkey in the straw, ha ha ha. Turkey in the hay, hey hey hey!” He’s only in about 30 seconds of the whole show, but he has such a distinct voice and makes such funny faces that it’s an iconic moment for us.
A few years ago, when Little Sister went on a trip to Disneyland (with the Ladies’ Man family no less; Little Sister and the Ladies’ Man’s little sister are friends), Little Sister saw a guy playing the fiddle in Frontierland and mentioned the video to him. He said that he was the same guy and even played the song for them! Then he asked where they were from. When they said, “Utah,” he asked them if they knew any “Utah songs” and started playing Primary songs (songs that LDS children sing at church). It seemed to be his way of sharing that he, too, was LDS…since cast members aren’t supposed to talk about religion with guests and vice versa.
After that experience, we found out that this fella’s name is Farley. Farley the Fiddler.
On our first day in the park, we were walking through Frontierland on our way to Adventureland when we noticed a man with a fiddle talking to some other guests. He looked vaguely familiar…
We convened in hushed whispers. Was that Farley? Was it not? Should we ask him? Should we ask for a picture with him?
He could probably hear us, because he walked over and started talking to us. Sure enough, it was Farley! He asked us where we were from. When we said “Utah,” he asked, “Have we ever sung the Utah songs together? Let’s sing the Utah songs together.” Then we sang “Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree” and “Once There Was a Snowman.”
Then Farley invited us to help him do a rendition of “Twelve Days of Christmas” on his fiddle. He fiddled. We sang and did the silly actions he told us to do.
After we were over, he said, “You had fun with Farley! So what do they get?” he asked the guests he had been talking to before we came over.
“A sticker!” they cried. Sure enough, Farley gave us his own themed stickers. Wow!
7. Explore nooks and crannies
I got to see a couple new areas of the parks that I’d never seen before. For one thing, I’d never had to get fast passes before, because my parents usually do that. I hadn’t realized that the fast pass areas were like little themed grottos. At one point, I left the rest of the group to grab fast passes for Haunted Mansion Holiday.
Guess what? The fast pass area for the ride is legit creepy! There’s a wrought iron fence around it…tall shrubbery…and cemetery-style statues enclosing the fast pass kiosks. There’s also weird chiming music. I got in…got my fast passes…and got out!
We also found something that not even Little Brother knew about. First of all, you should know that my family has one particular Disneyland tradition that we honor above almost any other: Splash Mountain at night.
Hardly anyone goes on Splash Mountain at night. Getting soaking wet late at night is a cold experience, even in California. Plus, Fantasmic is usually playing on the Rivers of America, so the rides in the Frontierland/Critter Country/New Orleans Square area tend to be empty. Fantasmic wasn’t playing right now due to construction. However, as it was December (and a frigid fifty-something degrees), Splash Mountain was still empty. We went on it three times in rapid succession. My roommates, who initially seemed hesitant about the idea, seemed to be loving it by the time we slogged off the ride. (You have to slog when your shoes are that wet.)
It was ten minutes to close at that point. On our way out of the park, we stopped at bathrooms on New Orleans Square. While we were there, we heard a pre-recorded conversation that was playing from one of the false apartment fronts over the shops. Little Brother had told us that a lot of the buildings had recorded noises coming from them. However, during the day it’s too busy and loud in the park to hear most of them.
Well, we could clearly hear this conversation in the quiet of the closing park. It seemed to be a dramatic exchange between two people cooking a chicken. And it was hilarious. We’ve been quoting it ever since: “…the chicken that I entrusted to your care!” Little Brother has researched it since we got home, but he hasn’t found anyone online who has reported hearing that same conversation.
So there you go. Even I, a person who has gone to Disneyland many, many times, did things that I’d never done before. I’m telling you, you’ll never run out of things to do there. It’s simply not possible.
Monday, December 19, 2016
Adulting, First Class
I'm a fraud.
I've been an adult for years, and I still have no idea what I'm doing.
A few months ago, I decided to buy a new product with which to clean my shower. I had been using the generic cleaner that I used on the bathroom sink, but it didn't seem to work on the shower very well. I had no idea what to put on my grocery list, though. I was leaning towards, "Something to clean the shower with but I don't even know what people use for that so yeah."
When I had to sign up for benefits for my full-time position, I could hardly understand a word in the retirement program package. It was all, "Blah blah you should save this much unless you plan to be in a higher tax bracket when you retire in which case you should save this much." What? How does one plan to achieve a higher tax bracket? How would I even know I'd achieved a higher tax bracket? I don't even know what tax bracket I'm in now!
I just don't feel like I'm actually an adult. I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of audition to be said adult, and that any moment now somebody with a clipboard is going to come up to me and say, "Sorry, we've decided not to cast you in the role of Adult. You can leave now." Except that keeps not happening. But nobody gives me a script, either. But if I'm ever like, "Wait, what's happening? What are we doing?" then all of the other people in the role of Adult are like, "Ha ha! You've been doing this for years. You should totally know what we're doing!" and then proceed to not explain anything. (Except for my parents, who are pretty understanding of my lack of adultness, probably because they still see a child when they look at me because I will always be a child to them because parents.) It's like it's all one humongous charade, and it's terribly blasé to point out that the charade is indeed a charade.
Does anyone else know what I mean???
When you know that you don't know anything about being an adult, you start to question the validity of adult things you do. When I say adult things, I mean things that you don't realize you have to do until you are an adult and you realize that someone has to do them or they don't get done. For example, when you go to Disneyland, somebody has to buy the plane tickets, book a ride from the airport to the hotel, book the hotel, arrange for a ride from the hotel to Disneyland, buy the tickets for Disneyland, make any Disney dining reservations, and so on and so forth. I was the person who did all of those things except book the hotel and arrange rides to Disneyland (Pepper booked the hotel, and the hotel happily had a shuttle going directly to Disneyland). This meant that, as our Disneyland trip drew nearer, the more convinced I became that it wasn't going to happen. After all, I'd never bought plane tickets or booked a ride from an airport or bought Disneyland tickets before. I'd never had to be the responsible adult who did that. I was vastly unprepared to be the responsible adult who did that, and thus in my total inexperience I must have done something wrong. You follow?
In short, I was a nervous wreck up until the last minute possible.
I was a nervous wreck while packing.
I was a nervous wreck as I printed off our Disneyland tickets, our flight itineraries, our SuperShuttle itineraries, and our reservation information. Were all of those things accessible from my phone? Absolutely. But I wasn't about to take any chances, not even when I had a portable phone charger with enough juice for two full charges.
I was a nervous wreck 24 hours before our flight, when I discovered a strange error on my and my roommates' plane tickets. Instead of being separated (like this: Awkward Mormon Girl Middle Name Obnoxious), they were squished together (like this: AwkwardMormonGirlMiddleName Obnoxious). I called the airline (which ugh ugh ugh). The particular airline worker to whom I was connected proceeded to call me "honey" throughout our interaction.
I told her that our names were showing up weird and obviously I had to fix that or else our boarding passes wouldn't match our IDs and then nobody would let us on the plane because they would think we were terrorists.
The worker brought up our flight information and informed me that, apparently, our first and middle names had been squished together because they were too long and they wouldn't fit on the boarding passes otherwise.
"So it won't be a problem?" I asked.
"No, honey. They can look at your passenger data and see your real names there."
I went to bed, cheered, and then realized that I should not be cheered. Problem or not, it was still one more thing to worry about!
The next day, at the airport, I had like seven fits of anxiety about what was going to happen. You'd think I could just relax, knowing that I had prepared as much as I possibly could, and leave well enough alone. But I couldn't leave well enough alone, because by arranging most everything I had made myself the mother, father, orphan-raising big sister, and other assorted legal guardians of the entire trip. I was responsible for everything.
"We're fine," I said over and over. "Everything is fine. There's no reason why anything should go wrong." And yet I kept expecting that something would.
However, the Seamstress, Pepper, Little Brother, and I were on time for the airport. I'd remembered the papers with our confirmation codes. Everyone had their ID. There were no problems with our boarding passes, nobody was accused of being a terrorist, Little Brother wasn't accused of being an adult trying to pass as a teenager, I wasn't accused of being a teenager trying to pass as an adult, we found the right gate, and the weather was great. The plane didn't crash on the way to Cali, either. When we got to LAX, we found my luggage and the shuttle pickup without too much trouble.
And lo and behold! The weather was...pleasant. The natives were all bundled up in big coats, but we were enjoying the balminess of the breeze. Our shuttle took us to our hotel, we checked in, we found our room. Lo and behold again! Our room was one of the nicer hotel rooms I've stayed in.
I was exhausted, what with the long day I'd had at work and the travel and the amount of anxiety I had exerted over the past 24 hours. I went to bed as soon as I was able...and hardly slept all night. It was anxiety again. But this time...it was good anxiety. I was as excited as I get the night before Christmas!
Finally, it was time to wake up. It wasn't long before everyone was washed, dressed, groomed, fed, and waiting impatiently on the curb for the Disneyland shuttle.
As we waited, it was now Pepper's turn to be anxious. As I said before, Pepper was the one responsible for this portion of the trip, and she started to worry that the shuttle wasn't going to come as expected. "I know everything is fine," she said, "but..."
Apparently, the greater portion of adulthood is knowing everything is fine but worrying about it regardless.
I've been an adult for years, and I still have no idea what I'm doing.
A few months ago, I decided to buy a new product with which to clean my shower. I had been using the generic cleaner that I used on the bathroom sink, but it didn't seem to work on the shower very well. I had no idea what to put on my grocery list, though. I was leaning towards, "Something to clean the shower with but I don't even know what people use for that so yeah."
When I had to sign up for benefits for my full-time position, I could hardly understand a word in the retirement program package. It was all, "Blah blah you should save this much unless you plan to be in a higher tax bracket when you retire in which case you should save this much." What? How does one plan to achieve a higher tax bracket? How would I even know I'd achieved a higher tax bracket? I don't even know what tax bracket I'm in now!
I just don't feel like I'm actually an adult. I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of audition to be said adult, and that any moment now somebody with a clipboard is going to come up to me and say, "Sorry, we've decided not to cast you in the role of Adult. You can leave now." Except that keeps not happening. But nobody gives me a script, either. But if I'm ever like, "Wait, what's happening? What are we doing?" then all of the other people in the role of Adult are like, "Ha ha! You've been doing this for years. You should totally know what we're doing!" and then proceed to not explain anything. (Except for my parents, who are pretty understanding of my lack of adultness, probably because they still see a child when they look at me because I will always be a child to them because parents.) It's like it's all one humongous charade, and it's terribly blasé to point out that the charade is indeed a charade.
Does anyone else know what I mean???
When you know that you don't know anything about being an adult, you start to question the validity of adult things you do. When I say adult things, I mean things that you don't realize you have to do until you are an adult and you realize that someone has to do them or they don't get done. For example, when you go to Disneyland, somebody has to buy the plane tickets, book a ride from the airport to the hotel, book the hotel, arrange for a ride from the hotel to Disneyland, buy the tickets for Disneyland, make any Disney dining reservations, and so on and so forth. I was the person who did all of those things except book the hotel and arrange rides to Disneyland (Pepper booked the hotel, and the hotel happily had a shuttle going directly to Disneyland). This meant that, as our Disneyland trip drew nearer, the more convinced I became that it wasn't going to happen. After all, I'd never bought plane tickets or booked a ride from an airport or bought Disneyland tickets before. I'd never had to be the responsible adult who did that. I was vastly unprepared to be the responsible adult who did that, and thus in my total inexperience I must have done something wrong. You follow?
In short, I was a nervous wreck up until the last minute possible.
I was a nervous wreck while packing.
I was a nervous wreck as I printed off our Disneyland tickets, our flight itineraries, our SuperShuttle itineraries, and our reservation information. Were all of those things accessible from my phone? Absolutely. But I wasn't about to take any chances, not even when I had a portable phone charger with enough juice for two full charges.
I was a nervous wreck 24 hours before our flight, when I discovered a strange error on my and my roommates' plane tickets. Instead of being separated (like this: Awkward Mormon Girl Middle Name Obnoxious), they were squished together (like this: AwkwardMormonGirlMiddleName Obnoxious). I called the airline (which ugh ugh ugh). The particular airline worker to whom I was connected proceeded to call me "honey" throughout our interaction.
I told her that our names were showing up weird and obviously I had to fix that or else our boarding passes wouldn't match our IDs and then nobody would let us on the plane because they would think we were terrorists.
The worker brought up our flight information and informed me that, apparently, our first and middle names had been squished together because they were too long and they wouldn't fit on the boarding passes otherwise.
"So it won't be a problem?" I asked.
"No, honey. They can look at your passenger data and see your real names there."
I went to bed, cheered, and then realized that I should not be cheered. Problem or not, it was still one more thing to worry about!
The next day, at the airport, I had like seven fits of anxiety about what was going to happen. You'd think I could just relax, knowing that I had prepared as much as I possibly could, and leave well enough alone. But I couldn't leave well enough alone, because by arranging most everything I had made myself the mother, father, orphan-raising big sister, and other assorted legal guardians of the entire trip. I was responsible for everything.
"We're fine," I said over and over. "Everything is fine. There's no reason why anything should go wrong." And yet I kept expecting that something would.
However, the Seamstress, Pepper, Little Brother, and I were on time for the airport. I'd remembered the papers with our confirmation codes. Everyone had their ID. There were no problems with our boarding passes, nobody was accused of being a terrorist, Little Brother wasn't accused of being an adult trying to pass as a teenager, I wasn't accused of being a teenager trying to pass as an adult, we found the right gate, and the weather was great. The plane didn't crash on the way to Cali, either. When we got to LAX, we found my luggage and the shuttle pickup without too much trouble.
And lo and behold! The weather was...pleasant. The natives were all bundled up in big coats, but we were enjoying the balminess of the breeze. Our shuttle took us to our hotel, we checked in, we found our room. Lo and behold again! Our room was one of the nicer hotel rooms I've stayed in.
I was exhausted, what with the long day I'd had at work and the travel and the amount of anxiety I had exerted over the past 24 hours. I went to bed as soon as I was able...and hardly slept all night. It was anxiety again. But this time...it was good anxiety. I was as excited as I get the night before Christmas!
Finally, it was time to wake up. It wasn't long before everyone was washed, dressed, groomed, fed, and waiting impatiently on the curb for the Disneyland shuttle.
As we waited, it was now Pepper's turn to be anxious. As I said before, Pepper was the one responsible for this portion of the trip, and she started to worry that the shuttle wasn't going to come as expected. "I know everything is fine," she said, "but..."
Apparently, the greater portion of adulthood is knowing everything is fine but worrying about it regardless.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Overheard During Movies
We were in Arizona for a family reunion when Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out in theaters. The older cousins and some of the parents therefore attended a showing for one of our family activities.
During the movie, some kids behind us made obnoxious comments. I don't remember said comments, but I do remember one of my cousins, who apparently was focused intently on the movie and didn't hear the kids at all, hissing, "Stop laughing, guys. This part isn't funny."
Similar kids sat behind us a few weeks ago during Moana (if you haven't seen Moana, you probably shouldn't finish this post).
At one point, Moana says that she knows someone who can help her make the ocean voyage.
KID #1: Who? Her boyfriend?
Then Moana's family learns that the grandmother is dying.
KID #1: Eh. She won't be missed.
KID #2: She will be missed. I'm crying!
And so on and so forth. We were practically rolling in the aisles (yes, even during parts of the movie that weren't funny).
Of course, I tend to talk during movies myself. But that's a story for another day.
During the movie, some kids behind us made obnoxious comments. I don't remember said comments, but I do remember one of my cousins, who apparently was focused intently on the movie and didn't hear the kids at all, hissing, "Stop laughing, guys. This part isn't funny."
Similar kids sat behind us a few weeks ago during Moana (if you haven't seen Moana, you probably shouldn't finish this post).
At one point, Moana says that she knows someone who can help her make the ocean voyage.
KID #1: Who? Her boyfriend?
Then Moana's family learns that the grandmother is dying.
KID #1: Eh. She won't be missed.
KID #2: She will be missed. I'm crying!
And so on and so forth. We were practically rolling in the aisles (yes, even during parts of the movie that weren't funny).
Of course, I tend to talk during movies myself. But that's a story for another day.
Monday, December 5, 2016
O Christmas Tree
One of the best things about living away from home is having my own Christmas tree. Or rather, having the Seamstress's Christmas tree.
I never put up the Christmas tree at my parents' house, so the concept of assembling a tree and putting lights was somewhat foreign to me. The Seamstress has a system for putting on lights. She likes the lights to be heavy on the bottom, lighter on top, with the cords extending to the very tips of the branches.
She also has matching ornaments (something we definitely do not have at the Obnoxious home) and a system to go with them. The system is to not only put ornaments on the outside of the tree but to put some inside the branches as well. This creates a sort of layered effect when one peers into the depths of the tree.
Ain't it pretty?!
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