Random Updates

What's new with me? Not a ton. But there's a lot new with almost everyone else. So...

The Seamstress is getting married. Obviously this is a good thing, but because of this everything is slowly being moved out of the apartment. Like the piano. And the TV. And the things we sit on. Also, it's been a while (think over three years) since we've had any turnover in this home, so that's a little jarring. But it's grand for the Seamstress to get to move on to the other parts of life.

Flower Child is also getting married.

So is Valiant.

Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister went to New York to visit Older Sister a few weeks ago. Not long before that, Rosebud and her husband were in New York. When they returned, Rosebud said to Little Sister, "Oh hey, there's this Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image you might like..." And Little Sister was all, "YEAH I KNOW." Because the exhibit finally opened in summer 2017. And Little Sister got to go this month, and she geeked out a ton on Instagram, videoing the Cantus and Gobo puppets and the like. She brought us back nice Fraggle souvenirs, too.

Baby Sister is still loving the mish. Here's a recent email snippet that I found particularly amusing: 

Little Brother is starting to scare me on account of his Disney collection (which was augmented with the Robin Hood display piece over Christmas).

EARTHQUAKE HAZARD. BEAUTIFUL EARTHQUAKE HAZARD.

Festival of Lights

As you know if you've been reading this blog for a while, the Obnoxious family observes some of the aspects of Hanukkah every year.

Just as non-Christians can celebrate the hope, light, life, love, peace, and goodwill of Christmastime without being believers, I would think that non-Jews can celebrate parts of Hanukkah without being believers (though I may be wrong, but so far, no Jews have told me otherwise). Especially since, unlike Christmas, Hanukkah isn't actually a major holiday. Or so I hear. Anyway, religiously speaking, we're not Jewish, so we always try to keep our celebration respectful and appropriate i.e. not do anything religious that would be a mockery to those who actually practice Judaism.

The big differences between Hanukkah last year and Hanukkah this year were a) we all bought matching Hanukkah sweaters earlier this year and b) Mr. Little Sister is now an official part of the family.

Last year, Mr. Little Sister got waaaaay into Hanukkah. He told Little Sister that he wants to celebrate it with their future children and suggested buying a menorah. Little Sister talked him out of the menorah idea (re: celebrating Hanukkah in a respectful and non-religious way), but that hasn't kept him from embracing his new Jewish heritage. He was very excited for Hanukkah this year. He and Little Sister bought a chocolate dreidel at some kind of arts festival they attended a few weeks ago, and he also picked out a dessert called "jujus" for the party "because we're Jew-Jews!"

Rosebud and Mr. Rosebud also came to the party last year and also got way into it, so they requested to be invited this year. Plus Little Brother got way into challah bread last year, and he has since mastered delicious homemade challah.

Alongside the challah, we enjoyed brisket, latkes, applesauce, and a chocolate bundt cake that wasn't bad for a bundt cake. We did not enjoy the jujus as they were kind of awful. We also played dreidel for prizes: caramels, chocolates, plastic instruments left over from the year before, sticky dinosaurs, and Star Wars and Christmas Peanuts pencils. Then Little Brother led us in some Jewish dances that he choreographed on the spot and made us listen to his favorite Jewish song, "Hava Nagila," over and over.

So it was a pretty good time. While it made me miss Older Sister and Baby Sister, it made me incredibly grateful for a wonderful family with a strong heritage. And I can't wait until we're all together for Christmas! (Older Sister will be here, and we'll be able to talk with Baby Sister on Skype.)

Little Sister's Wedding

Little Sister's wedding was kind of like a huge game of Boo/Yay.

Boo/Yay is a storytelling improv game where one improviser says something negative, and everyone says "Boo!" Then an improviser on the other team says something positive, and everyone says, "Yay!" It's simple, but effective.

First, the groundwork. I went to my parents' house late the night that Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister got engaged. They were still up. Little Sister showed me the ring.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Do you have a date?

MR. LITTLE SISTER: May 4th. Star Wars Day!

Little Sister is a huge Star Wars fan. Mr. Little Sister likes it, but definitely not as much as Little Sister. In fact, I'd arrived at my parents' house with a Star Wars-themed engagement present for her.

MR LITTLE SISTER: The sealing is at 10:20. We've already booked the temple.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: What are you thinking for colors?

LITTLE SISTER: Lavender and wheat.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: What about my bridesmaid dress? Do you already have that, too?

They didn't, but it was soon obtained. During preparations, the wedding soon turned from lavender and wheat to more of a purple fest, and the bridesmaid dresses were frothy concoctions of a sort of lavender-and-mauve mix color.

Baby Sister was the maid of honor. Older Sister and I were bridesmaids. The brothers were groomsmen. Since Mr. Little Sister has no brothers but three sisters, there was a swarm of bridesmaids, and the groomsmen presence was a bit thin.

Two days before the wedding, Older Sister flew in from New York. One day before the wedding, Mr. Little Sister's family held a wedding dinner in lieu of a luncheon.

And that's when things started to go a bit wrong.

BOO: The night of the dinner, I found that I had a raging cold.

YAY: At least I was sick and not Little Sister or Mr. Little Sister.

BOO: The next morning, our parents went off to the temple with Little Sister. The five Obnoxious siblings were scrambling around, trying to get ready. Baby Sister was trying to do my makeup and her hair. Baby Brother couldn't find his preferred shoes. Amidst all this, Little Sister was frantically texting Baby Sister, asking for various items she'd forgotten.

YAY: Baby Sister, being a good maid of honor, gathered everything that Little Sister needed. We managed to mollify Baby Brother and herd him into the car. Then we set off, Older Sister driving, me in the passenger seat and hopped up on cold medicine, everyone else in the back.

BOO: Suddenly, we hit traffic very uncharacteristic of 9:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning! It was rush traffic, and then some. Evidently, there'd been an accident. Soon we were locked in a complete standstill. We'd been on the road for at least fifteen minutes, and we'd hardly gone anywhere.

YAY: We happened to be near an exit. I was able to help Older Sister navigate safely out of the standstill and off the freeway! We then found an alternate route.

BOO: By this time, we were running rather late.

YAY: Older Sister used her mad driving skillz to get us to the temple in record time. At one point, we were turning right one a green light. There were a couple old ladies about to cross the road, but Older Sister yelped, "NOPE!" and cut them off as she raced toward temple parking! Soon Older Sister and Baby Sister and I (Baby Sister having recently been endowed) were headed into the temple while our brothers waited outside.

BOO: Although we made it to the temple on time, most of Mr. Little Sister's family did not. Presumably, they were stuck in the terrible traffic. The sealing room was ready early, so when they started ushering us in for the ceremony, many family members still weren't there!

YAY: Because the sealing room was fully booked for the day, we were afraid the sealing would have to start without everyone being there. Happily, things worked out, and almost everyone was in the room by the time the sealer started speaking! The ceremony was lovely. Mr. Little Sister is a sensitive soul, and he wept throughout most of the sealing.

BOO: When we went outside to wait for the new couple to emerge from the temple doors, we suddenly realized that none of us had ever seen the photographer! We didn't even know if she existed! We gathered that she did, since someone had to take the engagement and bridal photos, but we didn't know for sure. But, assuming she did exist, no one had any idea what she looked like.

YAY: After a good half hour of my awkwardly side-eyeing every single passing photographer, the photographer finally showed up just minutes before Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister made their appearance.

BOO: I spilled soy sauce on my skirt during lunch.

YAY: I wasn't wearing my bridesmaid dress yet! I'd just worn a normal Sunday dress to the temple and planned to continue wearing it until we were done setting up for the reception. Obviously, I wasn't happy about spilling the soy sauce, but it was more manageable than it would have been had I ruined my bridesmaid dress.

BOO: Literally as soon as we got to the aviary in which Little Sister's preferred reception center was located, a bird messed a big, brown mess on Little Brother's white shirt.

YAY: Older Sister was able to wash out the bird mess in the bathroom of the reception center, and Little Brother wore a women's shirt while we set up for the reception.

BOO: Not long after we started setting up, my parents found out that the moving van with most of the items would not be coming to the reception center as planned. They decided that both of them would go back to Hometown to get it, taking Little Brother with them. That left the four remaining Obnoxious siblings, the best man, and Rosebud (who is Mr. Little Sister's cousin) and Mr. Rosebud to set up everything. The problem was, only our mother really knew how everything was supposed to look, so we were at a bit of a loss.

YAY: Rosebud is an interior designer! She oversaw us as we frantically ironed things, hung them out, set them up, moved them across the floor, and so on and so forth.

BOO: The reception center was overly warm. Something wasn't quite right about the distribution of the air in the dated structure of the reception center. I went to the aviary office to ask them to look at it, but they said there was nothing they could do.

YAY: Since I was the only one running a fever, I was the only one who found the heat unbearable. Everyone else was just a little toasty!

BOO: The wedding party didn't wear their outfits to the temple, so we hadn't gotten any family pictures. We were supposed to do that right before the reception. However, the time was drawing near, and things still weren't set up. Fairy lights were still being strung. The backdrop for the bride and groom was falling apart even as Little Brother and Baby Sister put it up. Not to mention that no one had changed, freshened up, or put on their various flower accessories.

YAY: When Mom got back, she just told us to set things up...it didn't matter where. I put a few small trees lining the walkway, a formation that nobody questioned. In the end, everything got set up, and hey! We all were ready, too. Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister arrived, and all the bridesmaids got dressed at the same time as the bride. Mr. Rosebud dedicated himself to getting the boutonnieres on the groomsmen, and somehow, everyone was ready and lining up for photos.

BOO: Little Sister loves her record player. She'd put together a selection of records for the reception that we were supposed to play on her record player. However, just moments before the reception started, she discovered she hadn't put the record player power cord into the box of reception equipment.

YAY: When the DJ arrived, she offered to have her dad and brother bring her record player when they arrived at the reception. In the meantime, Rosebud's dad had an amplifier, and Mr. Little Sister had an iPod, so we did't have to go musicless.

At that point, things went mostly smoothly. The reception was set up like a fairy picnic in the woods. It was lovely. The refreshments were delicious. Having the reception in an aviary turned out to be rather interesting. At a couple points, my younger siblings ran away into the aviary. I had to hike up my delicate skirt and trot out looking for them in my cream-colored heels and flower crown.

At the end of the reception, we indulged in a bit of geekery. You might have seen photos of couples leaving their receptions to a send-off of sparklers or bubbles. Well, we'd gathered a good 15 or so lightsabers. We went out behind the reception center, turned on the lightsabers, and crossed them to make an archway. We blasted the Star Wars theme, and Little Sister and her new husband ran under the lightsaber path to the music.

I didn't see this myself, but word on the street says that after they were clear of the lightsabers, Little Sister stopped and said, "Wait! I didn't say goodbye to my family!" and started hugging everyone with arm's reach. And then she and Mr. Little Sister were gone.

We cleaned everything up and, exhausted, went home and went to bed!

St. Valentine's Day

As a Perpetually Single Person, I'm apparently supposed to hate Valentine's Day. However, I actually really like it...and have pretty much my whole life.

See, to me Valentine's Day is about all love. In certain South American countries, they actually call it El Dia de Amor y Amistad, otherwise known as the Day of Love and Friendship. I'm all over the "and Friendship" part, and I don't really feel like I'm missing much on the Love part. But maybe that's a blessing of being a Perpetually Single Person instead of a Sometimes Single Person: I've never had a romantic Valentine's Day, so I don't really know the difference.

I have a lot of fun Valentine's Day memories. When I was in first grade, my mom made me take Valentine's cupcakes to an elderly neighbor I didn't really know. He was (weirdly, I thought) touched, and he kissed me on the cheek. Then, late that night, he and his wife came by with three Beanie Babies! Apparently they knew that my parents had a bunch of little girls, and they'd heard Beanie Babies were all the rage for little girls. And that was how I (and Older Sister and Little Sister) got my very first Beanie Baby!

Another, less fun Valentine's Day memory is the year that I was in fourth grade. I was so excited for Valentine's Day that I made decorated envelope mailboxes to put on my sisters' and parents' bedrooms. Then, the night before Valentine's Day, I put valentines in everybody's envelopes. What fun!

Apparently I'd just assumed that everybody in my family would be on my same brainwave. To my severe shock and disappointment, there were no valentines or treats of any kind in the envelope bearing my name. I was crushed. My parents, belatedly realizing how very seriously I was taking the whole thing, quickly announced that we wouldn't look in our envelopes until that night. Sure enough, when I went to bed, there was a lollipop, a Valentine's Day pencil, and at least one valentine in my envelope. I felt better, but I'd had a rude awakening that not everyone was like me. Not everyone wanted an excuse to shower people and be showered in tangible emblems of love.

This year was nowhere so dramatic, but it was oh-so-fun! Among other things, I bought French macarons from Rosebud to give to friends and family.

Cute, huh?!

A little plug for Rosebud's macarons...they are great! And maybe it's just that the only other places I've bought macarons are California and New York City, where everything is tres expensive, but I thought these ones were very reasonably priced.

I also got roses from my parents!

Yellow roses...the kind I've always wanted someone to give to me! Plus red, pink, and orange. Little Brother helped my mom pick them out.

The Seamstress made brownies and wrote notes for me and Pepper, and Pepper gave me and the Seamstress necklaces and homemade cards.

Earlier this week, Best Friend Boy and I were talking about gifts. He said of people who give me gifts: "At least if it's Harry Potter related they can probably rest assured that you liked the gift."

All in all, a great day! I'm sad that we have to wait a whole 365 days to do it again.

P.S. One upsetting thing did happen...I brought my family their valentines in the morning, before  went to work. Baby Brother wasn't home, so I left his valentine on his bed. When I returned to my parents' home that evening, I asked Baby Brother how he liked his macarons. He said, "What macarons?"

Baby Brother had never found the valentine on his bed...and he had apparently gone all day thinking that I'd brought valentines and macarons for everyone in the family but him! He handled the perceived snub pretty well, but I kept having flashbacks to empty envelopes.

Hanukkahmas

Guess what, everybody?

Hanukkah and Christmas fell at the same time this year, that's what!

What's an ethnically 1/8 Jewish, religiously Christian girl to do?

Celebrate them both, of course!

The first night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Eve. Older Sister's flight got in that morning. Then we had our annual tradition of lunch on Christmas Eve, followed by our other annual tradition of dinner, a nativity scene, and a slideshow of the previous year, all with extended family.

The second night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Day. That morning, we opened presents. I got a sushi cookbook, a sushi-making kit, chopsticks, and sushi pins, among other things.

Then we all went to church. Afterward, we visited with family and enjoyed our gifts.

On the third night of Hanukkah, the family went with Favorite Cousin to see La La Land. Favorite Cousin and I already saw it the week before, but Older Sister hadn't yet because the movie prices in New York City are too much for her modest arts administrator budget. (While we're on the subject, it's a pretty good movie. There's kind of a bait and switch where you think the movie is about how a person has to close their eyes to some harsh realities to make an arts career work, but surprise! At the end you realize it's actually about how a person has to close their eyes to some harsh realities to make a relationship work. Plus there's a dream ballet sequence and a couple other moments straight out of a film musical from the 50s or 60s. So that's fun/unexpected/odd.)

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, we saw the LDS church's production of Savior of the World. That was actually a really good Hanukkah activity, as the production is about Christ's lifetime and is therefore steeped in a lot of Jewish traditions.

On the fifth night of Hanukkah, we actually got around to celebrating Hanukkah. All of my immediate family came to my apartment, along with Little Sister's boyfriend, Rosebud and her husband, one of our cousins and her new husband, and another cousin's four-month-old baby, whom my parents was watching for the evening. Together, we celebrated. This meant a dinner of brisket, latkes, applesauce, challah bread, and less traditional foods...

...some Hanukkah tales...

...and playing dreidel! (Spoils pictured below.)

We also sang and danced to songs from Fiddler on the Roof and Prince of Egypt. Rosebud's husband did a bottle dance. We picked Baby Brother up in a chair and danced with him around the living room. He hated it.

Hanukkah continues through New Year's Eve aka tomorrow. If you haven't celebrated and you want to, you still can. Although maybe you can't if you're not at least 1/8 Jewish. Maybe those are the rules.

And My Next Destination Is...

...not New York City.

New York City is Little Sister's next destination. She and Rosebud are going to spend a few days with Older Sister and see some shows. I'm sad I won't be there with Little Sister, since we had such fun on our NYC trips together, but she's going to bring me back some macarons from Baked by Melissa so that will almost make it better. Plus, she won't even be there long enough to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, so how jealous of her can I really be?

No, my next destination is D to the I to the S-N-E-Y land!!!

I essentially told my roommates that I wanted to go to Disneyland and that they were welcome to come along but that I would be planning on vacationing in the frantic, frenetic Obnoxious family way. Surprisingly, they still wanted to come. The original idea was to go in September, but life got in the way. So I proposed that we go during December. Christmastime at Disneyland is amazing, and not too crowded. Plus, if we went early enough in December, kids would still be in school, which would mean that it would be even less crowded. Once I had explained just how magical it is, my roommates were keen on the idea.

Last month, I bought the plane tickets. It was a moment of celebration and jubilation because, now that our plane tickets were purchased, there was no going back! What had once only been talked about was now a reality.

The only problem was that there were three of us. Disneyland is best with even numbers. That way everyone can have a buddy on the rides.

Now, I don't know if I've conveyed this clearly before, but Little Brother. Loves. Disneyland. He was the one I consulted with as I planned the trip. When we were thinking of going in September, he told me all of the special attractions going on at that time. When the trip moved to December, he enthusiastically explained what he knew of the new Christmas World of Color attraction and told me what rides would be closed while I was there.

So, when I was later bemoaning the lack of a fourth person, my roommates asked if Little Brother might like to come. They even offered to help pay for Little Brother to come. That is the kind of love that Little Brother has for Disneyland. Other people actually want to pay for him to go to Disneyland because he loves it so much.

I said that the issue was not so much money; I might even be willing and able to pay for Little Brother to go if my parents couldn't. The real problem was that Little Brother would be in school during our trip, and it wouldn't be prudent for him to miss.

A few days later, I mentioned to my mom that my roommates had invited Little Brother on my trip. I mentioned it because I thought it was amusing, not because I thought there was any chance that he would be able to go. But Mom sort of stared off into the distance and got thoughtful.

"I might let him go," she said.

And a few days later, it was all settled. Mom and Dad would pay for Little Brother's Disneyland ticket and give him spending money, while I would pay for his plane ticket and let him stay in the hotel room for free. In trade-off, he would receive only small Christmas presents from me, the parents, and Santa on Christmas Day. Little Brother was over the moon, which is an expression that doesn't always make sense, but which totally worked in this situation. Little Brother was so happy he was practically floating, and it was not inconceivable that he could float right through the atmosphere and into outer space.

Actually, it would have been useful if he could have floated straight to Disneyland, because getting his ticket turned out to be a hassle.

I'd booked the tickets for myself, Pepper, and the Seamstress on Expedia. It was but the work of a moment to log on late one night and find the same flights we'd reserved. I then proceeded to book a ticket for Little Brother.

Except not really, because, as Expedia so graciously informed me, I couldn't book a ticket online for a minor flying solo.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: He's not flying solo! He's flying with his sister and his sister's roommates.

But that didn't seem to matter to Expedia. So I did the thing I dread so much and called Expedia up. When I finally reached a human person, the thickly accented girl asked me for my name.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: It's Awkward Mormon Girl.

EXPEDIA GIRL: Okay, Miss Awkward Mormon Girl. What can I do for you?

I explained that I needed to add a minor to my flight plans, but that I couldn't on Expedia's website.

EXPEDIA: Okay, Miss Awkward Mormon Girl, I completely understand that you want to take your child with you to California.

Normally I might have let that slide, but given that I was dealing with an airline who had all of my information and who would, if they were paying attention, quickly figure out that it was biologically impossible for me to be Little Brother's mother, I decided I'd better say something in the interest of transparency.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Oh, uh, I mean, you can probably see from my information you have pulled up there that I'm too young to—he's actually my brother.

After a very long and taxing conversation, I was informed that Expedia couldn't help me, but that if I called Delta directly, they could book Little Brother's ticket for me.

That led to another very long and taxing conversation.

DELTA GIRL: And which of the individuals in the flight plan will be bringing an infant?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Uh...so he's actually my brother.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: And he's a teenager.

After quite a bit of back and forth, of being put on hold, and of being asked Little Brother's personal information such as name, birthdate, blood type, and Hogwarts house, I was finally able to purchase a ticket.

Before I hung up with Delta, a thought struck me.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: And will this ticket be round trip, like mine?

DELTA GIRL: Your ticket's not round trip.

I quickly realized what was going on.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: So you're telling me that because the return ticket I purchased through Expedia is with a different airline, I will have to call that different airline and book a separate return ticket for my brother?

DELTA GIRL: Yes.

If I were the fainting type, I probably would have fainted right then.

One more phone call and another half hour later, everything was finally in order. Not long after, Pepper booked the hotel. Then I booked the Disneyland tickets. All we need now is reservations for transportation to and from the airport, and we'll be all set! It's going to be magical.

NAQ

Some people do an FAQ post, where they answer frequently asked questions. I'm doing an NAQ post, where I'll answer never asked questions.

NAQ #1: What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
S'mores by Dryer's. But I also like cherry chocolate chip, Neapolitan, butter pecan, and cake batter or any variation of cake batter (such as birthday cake).

NAQ #2: What kind of jobs have you had?
Summer rec teacher. Fast food employee/training sponsor. SAT and ACT tutor. Now I help write training for other people's companies. To correct a common and understandable misconception, I have never written an instruction manual.

NAQ #3: What scares you?
Making telephone calls. Turning left at intersections. The Woman in Black. But in truth, the thing that scares me the most is the thought that one of my younger siblings might die.

NAQ #4: What are you self-conscious about?
My overly sensitive, always-red skin (particularly around the nose). My terrible posture. My lack of romantic relationship experience. My social awkwardness. The fact that I can't sing very well.

NAQ #5: What aren't you self-conscious about?
If I'm not conscious of it, do I really know? But most things not listed above, probably.

NAQ #6: How did you get your hair to be so long?!
This is the question that I wish people would ask! I had short hair during most of high school. Like, it was even buzzed-at-the-neck short at one point. After graduation, I started growing it out, and I haven't stopped since. Do you know how hard it is for me to grow out my hair? It's very hard! Because, although my hair grows very fast, I get restless and cut it all off periodically.

I was really looking forward to my high school reunion. I figured people would say, "Wow, your hair is so long!" And I'd say, "That's right! Do I have kids now? No! Am I married? No! Did I serve a mission? No! But by golly, I have SUPER LONG HAIR. And a college degree."

But. Nobody. Mentioned my hair at all. Not a soul.

Directly after the reunion, I went to Rosebud's wedding reception. When I congratulated the bride and groom, the new Mr. Rosebud said, "Wow, your hair is really long!"

And I was all, "FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES MY HARD WORK."

Midnight Thoughts

I have been to approximately 10,000,043 wedding receptions this month. And every wedding reception I've been to has been super cute.

Let me tell you a secret: your wedding reception isn't really for you, it's for your family and friends. But even though the reception is not for you, it is a showcase of your good taste and therefore it must be cute or some aesthetically pleasing variation thereof.

I'm not really into flowers, or vintage decorations, or outdoor receptions, or gray suits with small pinstripes, or dresses made entirely of lace. Those things have been considered the epitome of good taste over the last few years, which is problematic. I don't want a reception that people consider tacky, but I don't want it to be just like everybody else's, either. But I didn't catch the bouquet at Rosebud's reception last night, so I guess I don't have to worry about that for a while.

Shop Til You Drop

My family isn't wealthy. We don’t get to have whatever we want. We don’t get to do all the things we want to do; we don’t get to travel all the places we want to travel. However, through example my parents taught us that when you do get to do things, you make the most of them.

You get invited to a fancy party? You should wear a fancy outfit with nice shoes, jewelry, hair, and makeup. If you don’t have a fancy outfit, you should buy one. If you can’t afford to buy one, you should find someone who will let you borrow one. And if you don’t have the knowledge or means to do fancy hair and makeup, you should get your mom, your sister, or a friend or neighbor to do fancy hair and makeup for you.

You graduate from college? You should get a nice frame to display your very expensive piece of paper. If your school invites you to some special graduation events, you should go to at least some of them, even if it means spending a little extra money. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You should take advantage of the experience.

You go on a special trip? You will not be relaxing on that trip. You will get up early every morning and go to bed late every night so that you have ample time to see all the sights you can, eat all the food that you can’t eat at home, and attend any special events that you can afford to attend. And when you go on that trip, you will bring along fun trip clothes that you will enjoy wearing and taking pictures in.

That is why this past Saturday, Older Sister, Little Sister, and I were joined by our friend Rosebud in a quest to purchase new summer clothes/clothes to wear in New York City.

I am rather excited about some of these clothes. So excited, in fact, that I am going to tell you about them. So if you hate clothes, this would be an opportune time for you to go read another post. You can try this one. Or this one. Or this one. But please note that if you leave now, you will never find out what I am going to wear while in New York City. And you will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and wonder about it. And you will curse yourself for not reading the rest of the post.

Make your decision now…

…

…

…

…Okay, is everybody who’s staying still here? Okay. Moving on.

First off, please note this beautiful Wembley Fraggle t-shirt my brothers gave me for my birthday:

I am a fan. Please also note that on our trip to New York City, we are going to stop at THE MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE!!!

If that sentence doesn’t fill you with excitement, you probably don’t know what the Museum of the Moving Image is. Heck, I don’t know what it is. All I know is that they have a JIM HENSON EXHIBIT!

With FRAGGLE PUPPETS!

So there is no way that I am not going to that museum. And there is no way that I would not wear a Wembley Fraggle t-shirt when I am no way not going to that museum.

Older Sister advised me on the best way to wear such a t-shirt in a fashionable manner. Apparently, you wear them with this cardigan thing:

Which I will hereafter refer to as the Mokey Fraggle, for obvious reasons:

And with the Mokey Fraggle and the t-shirt, you wear a fun pair of shoes:

I like these shoes. I don't normally wear yellow, but wearing these beauties will be like walking on sunshine all day long. I've been wearing them around to break them in, and they're also surprisingly comfortable.

I have a few other t-shirts to wear with this ensemble, including my Awkward Mormon Girl shirt, and I think it will be a fun thing to wear while tromping around a city I've never seen before.

Older Sister desires that, as part of our New York City trip, we should dress up each night as we go to our Broadway shows.

On my birthday, my parents gave me a bright blue dress and a polka dot scarf.

OLDER SISTER: Are you going to wear that on Broadway?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Well, I thought I might wear it--

OLDER SISTER: On Broadway.

Broadway it is.

My other Broadway clothes include a pink lace dress with gold jewelry that I purchased on Saturday.

Finally, and possibly most importantly, I bought these earrings:

New York City, here I come!

The Neediness and the Twenty-Fourth

It's the twenty-fourth of July, and y'all know what that means!

If y'all don't know what that means, then you must not live in Utah. Here in the Beehive State, the twenty-fourth of July is affectionately known as Pioneer Day. We dress up in red, white, and blue, have parties and parades and fireworks, and talk about how great America is and how much our forefathers' actions have blessed us. It's basically the fourth of July, just three weeks later, and with more handcarts.

Hometown's carnival for the twenty-fourth is always worth dropping by. There are rides, food, games, and a concrete stage with a makeshift tarped-over auditorium where Baby Sister performed with her clogging group. She said she didn't know the numbers very well this year, but no one in the audience could tell because she's Baby Sister.

When I arrived at the carnival, I was immediately dazzled by the sounds (music and conversations and laughter), the smells (fried bread and barbeque pork sandwiches), and the sights (sparkly face paint! neon posterboard signs! glittering costumes!) And the people! Seemed like half the city was there, tons of people I knew and tons I didn't. There was a guy dressed up as a mountain man, and a guy dressed up as a suspendered pioneer, and a guy in full Native American regalia, just standing around eating nachos, headdress and all. It doesn't get much more legit than that.

"Wow," I thought, "I love this holiday!"

That was when The Neediness struck.

Immediately I felt that I should not, nay, could not be alone. Because if I was alone, then I would never stop being alone. No one would ever love me. Never. Ever.

Such is The Neediness.

Swiftly I latched myself onto the nearest family member, which so happened to be Baby Brother.

MOM: All right, kids, here are your tickets. Now, does everybody want to go on the tilt-a-whirl?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Actually, I'd rather go on the whirl-a-tilt. #hilarious #funny #joke

MOM: Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: ...never mind. #shame #nobodylaughed #neediness

#THEneediness

And oh, that Neediness grew. It grew so much I was unable to extricate myself from the gaggle of cousins and siblings, even though I really would have preferred to go on a whirl-a-tilt rather than the tilt-a-whirl. I normally love it, but the portable, rent-a-cheap-carnival version is nothing but a blot on the illustrious name of tilt-a-whirl.

Alas, The Neediness made it impossible for me to refuse to go on the tilt-a-whirl. All my companions went, and so by necessity did I.

Suffice it to say, I felt nauseated by the time the ride ended. It wasn't stomach nausea, though. It was brain nausea. It felt exactly like my mind was about to throw up. My head was scrambled--but my gut was hungry.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: So... can we get fried bread now?

No. No, we could not. That is what I gathered from the social cue of everyone ignoring me. We could, however, go to the fishing pond, if the way Baby Brother and Ginger Cousin trooped over there was any indication.

The fishing pond was a bit lacking in pondness. It was just a small booth where children forked over their carnival tickets and got a fishing pole to pull up a prize from inside the booth. Baby Brother and Ginger Cousin were determined to fish up some prizes, and The Neediness dictated that I go with them.

There were three levels of prizes. The kids wanted the most expensive. The worker asked Ginger Cousin and Baby Brother their ages, took their tickets, and dropped their poles into the booth. And lo and behold! Exciting, age-appropriate prizes appeared on the end of the fishing poles. Ginger Cousin had a whistle shaped like a bird of paradise and a vial necklace filled with multi-colored sand. Baby Brother had a soccer ball whistle and some kind of manly craft kit.

At the last moment I decided to go fishing as well. I was here, wasn't I? Why shouldn't I get a sweet prize, too? A prize could be just the thing to soothe my needy soul. Only I didn't want to spend the tickets for an expensive one, so I gave a single ticket for the cheapest.

WORKER: How old are you?

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Twenty-____.

WORKER: ...twenty-____?

From the way he was acting, you'd think I was the oldest person using the fishing pond or something. And if you thought that, you'd be correct.

When I reeled in my line, attached to the end was a pink plastic pen decorated with hearts. Except half the hearts had fallen off. And it didn't seem to be able to actually produce ink.

Oh, sure I thought as I compared my prize with the kids'. Just because I'm cheap and old. The pen perfectly embodied the loneliness of my soul. I wept inside. And became even more needy.

For the rest of my time at the carnival, I passed from companionship to companionship. The younger kids. My parents. My friend and troupe member Snow Angel. I even ran into Older Sister, who has returned from her mission to the land of America South and who had come to the carnival after work with our friend Rosebud. Anyone who crossed my path, I took turns sticking to like sticking plaster.

(Sticking plaster is something I read about in British books that is never satisfactorily explained. So I don't actually know what it is. Apparently I should never spend time with any British literature whatsoever, as it seems to be a source of much confusion in my life.)

For most of the carnival, I managed to be successful in not ever being alone. Then, when I'd finally convinced Baby Sister to go with me for fried bread, the unthinkable happened.

Baby Sister left.

The consequent events are a little fuzzy. Hyperventilation was involved. Possibly seizures. How I survived on my own is unclear.

What I can remember, however, is that I ate my fried bread like a crazed, ravening thing. Consumption was the only way to make certain it, at least, would never leave me.