Saturday, November 29, 2014

I Hope That Something Better Comes Along

A word on dating.

Now, remember. I'm no dating expert. I've never had a relationship (except with this blog--twenty months strong) so I don't know a lot about dating. Although I suppose that it's possible to learn more about a thing by failing at it than by succeeding at it.

Either way, you should perhaps take my word with a grain of salt. Add grains of thyme, garlic, and rosemary for a delightful herb marinade.

As a Perpetually Single Person, I am often the recipient of much advice. Much of the advice goes something like this: "With guys, you just have to (fill in the blank)."

Variations on this advice: "When it comes to guys, you should never--" "You should always--" "Try this and it will work like a charm--"

While there may be some truth to each of these pieces of advice, there are several billion men on this planet. I find it hard to believe that they all respond the same to the same conditions.

It took me a few years to realize that, actually. There's this idea that's prevalent in female culture that if you properly do X, Y, and Z any guy you choose will like you back. He has to. He can't resist your feminine wiles and womanly perfection. And if he doesn't like you, then there must be something wrong with him. He's a wimp, he's evil, he's "not worth it."

The truth of the matter is that sometimes a guy doesn't like you. Yes, perhaps he's a bit daft not to realize how great you could be together. Yes, sometimes there is something wrong with him. But sometimes he's just fine and he is worth it but he just doesn't like you that way.

The other thing I'd like to note is that it's not good to compare your story to someone else's. Sometimes things go the way you expect: you meet the guy, he asks you out, you like each other, things naturally progress and then, at long last, you get married.

That's the way some stories go, but not all. I don't believe in moral relativism, but after years of observation I have come to believe in romantic relativism. Different things work for different people. Romance is a crazy thing, and you never know what's going to work.

That's all. Awkward Mormon Girl out.

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