Splash Mountain According to Me

There's something about Disneyland.

I know people whose attitude goes thusly: "Disneyland?! What's so great about Disneyland? All amusement parks are the same."

Ah, but no. Every other amusement park I've ever been to leaves me feeling tired, drained, and in serious need of a shower. When I leave Disneyland, I feel uplifted, peaceful, and fulfilled.

Why is that? I'm not sure. There's probably a nostalgia factor from my Disney-studded childhood, of course, but it goes far beyond that. Part of it is probably the exquisite design of the place. Everything, from the bathroom signs to the music playing throughout the park to the packaging of the food, is designed with the utmost care and a particular impression in mind.

Little Brother especially loves Disneyland.

Little Brother has been not-so-secretly annoyed with me for not writing any posts of which he is the star. I have done this not because I have nothing to say about Little Brother but because there's too much to say. He's Prince Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender; Sirius Black in Harry Potter; Loki in The Avengers. If there were an emo penguin in Scamper the Penguin, Little Brother would be that penguin. He's tall, dark, handsome, sensitive, brooding, and conflicted. Additionally, he is a fairly fanatical person; when he loves something, he really loves it. When he hates it, he very much hates it.

It so happens that Little Brother really loves Disneyland. And since he was small, he has specifically targeted an intense portion of that love on Splash Mountain.

Who doesn't love Splash Mountain? People who are scared of falling from heights, and getting wet, and seeing singing animatronic animals. But everybody else loves it. Which is odd when you consider that it was born of Disney's most controversial movie, but becomes less odd when you realize the ride has very little to do with the actual movie and more to do with its Academy Award-winning original songs.

I first went on Splash Mountain at age eight, and I was charmed. Little Brother first went on Splash Mountain in our mother's womb, and he's obsessed. He has literally watched YouTube videos that various people have taken of Splash Mountain while riding Splash Mountain at every Disney park with a version of Splash Mountain. I daresay he knows the ride better than he knows the depths of his own soul.

The last time I went on Splash Mountain was summer of 2013. I enjoyed it very much. Yet there was something...odd about it. It took me a few rides to realize that some of the animatronic animals weren't working. Some singing frogs...a fox or two...dancing chickens on the steamboat during the "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" section.

"I don't understand," I said when we got off the ride. "This is Disneyland, where everything is kept in tip-top condition. What about maintenance? Part replacement? Disney magic?"

"I don't know," scowled the upset Little Brother. He assumed his typical, peculiar mix of outrage and excitement at having something to be outraged about.

And Little Sister yelled, "Please don't throw me in the briar patch!" in a very accurate but somewhat offensive imitation of Brer Rabbit.

And then Little Brother's excitement won out and he began to assail us all with random Disney facts.

And I was all, "What is this family?"