Back to School

It's that time of year again.

Nope, not Christmas. I wish it were Christmas, but it's not so don't start getting visions of sugar plums dancing in your heads or anything. Christmas is way better than school though, school being the thing it's actually the time of year for.

Soooo sometimes I have a bit of an attitude problem about school. Like, I really want to get a college degree, and I'm grateful I have the chance to fulfill that dream. However. I get tired of the academic posturing that goes on in college. I like people to be honest with me, and there's not a lot of honesty in the scholastic world. It makes me not very excited to be there, thus the attitude problem.

On school mornings, I hit the snooze button over and over. When I finally get up, I eat breakfast and run until five, ten minutes before my time of departure, at which point I throw on whatever and do such hair and makeup as time will allow. In short, I show up each day at school looking like a zombie. Or a hobo. Most accurately, a zombie hobo.

And then I'm like, "Nameless Utah College students! Let's be friends!"

And the students are all like, "The zombie apocalypse already?" or "Someone give that hobo a sandwich and some bus fare." Except for the hipsters, who are like, "The hobo apocalypse already?" or "Someone give that zombie a sandwich and some bus fare," because the other way is too mainstream.

It occurred to me over the summer that if I act like school is a special occasion, maybe my attitude about it will change. Plus treating it like a special occasion = putting more effort into my appearance = not looking like a zombie hobo = less sandwich handouts but more friends.

So the night before my first day of school this year, I took time to select a suitable outfit. I planned out a nice hairdo and set my alarm clock for the perfect time.

Too bad I didn't wake up until over an hour later.

The Story of How I Didn't Wake Up Until Over an Hour Later

Once upon a time aka two days before school started, I went camping. I disabled my alarm clock so that it wouldn't go off and bother Older Sister while I was gone. When I got home I set my alarm clock, forgetting that I had disabled it and that it was incapable of going off until I enabled it again. Then I lived happily ever after except not really because by the time I woke up there were only thirteen minutes until my bus left.

The End

Thirteen minutes before my bus was supposed to leave, I jolted awake. I threw on my cute clothes except without the accessories including the belt that kept my cute shirt from being two sizes too big. I brushed two and a half strokes through my hair. I smeared some makeup on my face and ran out the door, forgetting my jacket, sunscreen, and water bottle.

By the time I got to Nameless Utah College, I was cold, sunburned, and dehydrated (because this is Utah, where being cold and sunburned at the same time is totally within the realm of possibility). I went to buy myself some breakfast from the student center only to remember that I had not brought any money with me. Dejectedly, I stumbled to the ladies' restroom, where I caught sight of myself in the mirror.

I looked like a zombie hobo, but worse. Waaaay worse.

"Well," I said to myself, trying not to perpetuate my attitude problem, "at least maybe this way I'll get a sandwich."