The End of January

I firmly believe that January is the worst month. It's cold, it's gray, it's miserable, it's blech.

I don't do much in January, so it seems like I always end up writing about strange things. However, I felt like this month's blog topics were particularly eclectic.

Based on the number of views I got on each post this month, it seems like you guys are most interested in reading about semi-political things, followed by the miserable weather in this state, followed by Little Sister's engagement. Sadly, my post about Fraggle Rock, even though my stats say it was shared at least twice, got the second lowest number of views. (It's okay, Fraggle Rock. I still love you.)

That's how the month went, blog-wise. Personal life-wise, it was a very strange month. Not only am I adjusting to getting an insta-brother, I made changes to my personal life in hopes of zeroing in on my next life steps. (Among other things, this consists of finding out that I unknowingly graduated from institute two and a half years ago and choosing to leave the world of improv comedy behind. I'll probably talk more about that later.)

In any case, I'm just glad January is over. February, here I come!

In Which My Dreams Betray Me

I don't care much for public speaking.

Over the weekend, I was particularly stressed because I was scheduled to give a work presentation today. I also had to teach Sunday school classes, which is sort of like giving a presentation, and by the time I got home on Sunday evening, I just felt discouraged about my abilities to present things in general. The idea of standing up and talking to a crowd the next day made me want to weep.

I remained worried even in my sleep. I literally had a nightmare where I was teaching a Sunday school class, and all of my students (who, oddly enough, were people I went to high school with but haven't seen in years) started critiquing my teaching in the middle of class. They didn't like the way I was sitting, the way I was talking, or the way I was moving my head. And boy, they let me know it.

They didn't, however, seem to have a problem with the fact that I was literally teaching them from behind a piano. Eh, dream logic.

Piano aside, I was really surprised that I didn't wake up in a cold sweat. I was forced to sweat while I waited for my turn to present instead.

Good news, though. I think things went okay. At least, I didn't pass out or throw up, so that's a win.

It Seems Like a Lifetime Ago

I often get nostalgic at this time of year. The last musical that I was in took place in January of my senior year of high school. I was also in pep band, so for two or three weeks straight, when I wasn't at performances or rehearsals, I was playing my clarinet at a basketball game.

There's one night in particular stamped in my memory. After that night's basketball game, Best Friend Boy, Etch-a-Sketch, and I went to a Wendy's. Some other band members were there, including Runner Bean. (This was shortly after this disaster.)

There's a picture of us on my bedroom bookshelf from that night—Etch-a-Sketch and I on one side of the table, Best Friend Boy on the other. Our food is pictured too: Best Friend Boy bites into a sandwich; Etch-a-Sketch puts a chicken nugget in her mouth. The sandwich that Best Friend Boy kindly purchased for me sits unwrapped before me.

Runner Bean isn't pictured, but he was the focus of my evening. I remember how that one of the girls in our grade sat next to him. She was chatting at him...stealing his fries...at one point, she even ran her fingers through his hair. I remember how I felt then. What was an otherwise great evening soured, and a sick feeling condensed into a deadweight ball sitting in the middle of my stomach.

I wasn't that girl. I wasn't the fun, flirty girl who stole fries and ran her fingers through a boy's hair. I was too earnest and too intense for that. No guy I knew ever said that the thing they hoped most for in a girl was earnestness and intensity. Thus I quickly became discouraged not just about Runner Bean, but about all of my future romantic possibilities...or rather, what I feared was the lack thereof.

Yes, I know, it seems a silly thing to let one evening cause me to question the nature of my entire existence. But like I said...intensity.

The next day, as I changed into my costume and put on my makeup for that night's performance, I found that I had an unsolicited text from Best Friend Boy.

Best Friend Boy: I'm sorry Runner Bean is liked by so many girls. But he's liked for very good reasons and that is why I think he may be worthy of a daughter of [God] such as you.

That text left a deep impression on me...as you can probably tell due to the fact that I recall it at all. So much has happened since then that it feels like it happened to someone else, and I merely heard about it from a friend or read about it online somewhere. However, if my sporadic records of text messages I received in high school are to be trusted, it really did happen.

It's strange how you simply can't forget some small, seemingly insignificant things, isn't it?

401

Well, without realizing it at the time, yesterday I published my 400th post here at Awkward Mormon Girl.

So this is post #401! Whoo!

We're also coming up on four years here at the blog. I'm trying to decide how (and if) I want to celebrate that. If I end up doing something fun, y'all will be the first to know.

Just kidding. You probably won't find out about it until after it happens. Sorry. I still love you, though!

The Bus

I was a bus kid for most of my public school experience. Most days after school, I had to board the big yellow monster, endure a ride of several minutes, and then walk several blocks to get home.

When I got to college, I took a Utah Transit Authority bus (or rather, two buses, as I had to transfer) to almost every class. I had to wait in the rain, the snow, the battering winds and the freezing cold. Oh, sure, it was pleasant to ride the bus on warm spring days, when I could sit in the sunshine during my transfer and read a book. Most of the time, though, it was miserable.

After I graduated from Nameless Utah College, I thought that my bus-riding days were over. However, I soon realized that there was no way I was getting to work in the snow. People from out of town scoff and say that Utah drivers don't know how to drive in the snow, but I say all snow is different. I know how to successfully drive in some kinds of snow, but I lack the skillz to grapple with all of them. If so many non-Utah people really do know a technique that allows for driving in all kinds of snow, I demand that they make an instructional course and mass-produce it immediately. The northern hemisphere needs it.

The first winter I worked in Work City, I took the bus for about two months straight. Unfortunately, it was just as tedious as it had been during school. Even more so, perhaps, now that my life had moved on from the poor college student stage.

Last winter, I took the bus maybe a grand total of three weeks when you add all the days together. I just couldn't bear it if I didn't have to.

This winter, I've tried to avoid the bus at all. I just can't do it. However, after my car slid into an adjacent lane on a freeway exit last week, my hand was forced.

Monday morning found me standing in the cold and the dark, waiting for a bus.

It's discouraging yet humbling to find yourself back in a place you keep thinking you've left behind.

Ah well. Maybe someday. A girl can always hope.

Join the Fam

Oh, in case you didn't know, Little Sister is engaged.

You know those emojis with hearts coming out of their eyes? That's what Little Sister looks like. Hearts are coming out of her eyes. Every. Day. Nonstop. If it weren't so novel, it would get old.

The future Mr. Little Sister is one of Little Sister's longtime friends. His family lives just a few blocks from my family. He and Little Sister grew up together; they were even baptized on the same day. It's a good match.

One can't help but feeling sorry for Mr. Little Sister, though. Why? Well, never having dated anyone, I didn't realize this until just recently...but, I mean, think about it. What is a family? A family is essentially a clique that has been together their entire lives. They have years and years of not only shared genes but also experience, stories, and jokes. Think about trying to break into that exclusive group.

Yikes.

I wouldn't say that we Obnoxiouses are snobs. For the most part, my family on both sides has a history of welcoming all kinds of people, related or not, and making them part of us. However, just because we're welcoming, that doesn't mean it's easy to fit in with us. We are a peculiar people.

On Sundays, I go to my parents' house for family dinner. Mr. Little Sister has joined us each week since the engagement. Each week, I've analyzed our dinner conversations from the viewpoint of an outsider. Here's how it's gone:

Week One Topic of Conversation: Family joke night. We told Mr. Little Sister every stupid joke we know. Most of them aren't funny but he, bless his heart, still laughed.

We also burst into song at one point. Luckily, Mr. Little Sister comes from a musical family, so he was able to join in right away. Good job, Mr. Little Sister!

Week Two Topic of Conversation: Nancy Drew and...nope, that's pretty much it. We essentially spent all of dinner talking about our favorite Nancy Drew games. Mr. Little Sister hasn't played those games (although I'm sure that will change shortly). He was left listening valiantly to our ramblings.

Week Three Topic of Conversation: Ginger Cousin. Musical theatre (that is something Mr. Little Sister knows quite a lot about). And then we took a dramatic veer and started trying to decide which Greek goddess is most like our mom.

Apparently, you need to brush up on your mythology if you want to eat dinner with our family.

And did I mention that all six of the Obnoxious children can carry on two conversations at once? I can either talk to one sibling while listening to another sibling talk to me, or I can listen to two siblings talking to me simultaneously. Often, dinner devolves into all of us talking over one another in a chain of conversation. We don't even notice we're doing it until somebody points it out to us!

It seems that, after three weeks of being initiated into our family, most people would have concluded that we are too much to be borne. The fact that Mr. Little Sister has stuck around tells me that he and Little Sister are meant to be.

Media and Mobs

Last week, the Netflix series of A Series of Unfortunate Events aired.

I like A Series of Unfortunate Events. It’s an interesting story… my siblings and I once made a truly awful movie version of it…and it taught me a lot about the world. What else could you want in a book series?

In fact, watching the Netflix version reminded me of the two most important lessons that I learned from the books. I think these lessons are a) very applicable to today’s world but b) seldom remembered.

Lesson #1: The media don’t always tell the truth.

(Yes, today I’m going with the old-fashioned use of “media” as plural instead of the colloquial use of “media” as singular. Because pretentious.)

Sometimes the media lie to us intentionally.

Sometimes the media lie to us out of ignorance and incompetence.

Sometimes the media lie to us because they’re unaware of their own bias.

I am in favor of impartial press that reports only on the facts but sadly, it seems that doesn’t happen much. Every news outlet has a bias, a political position that it’s pushing. Because of this, each outlet tends to report more often and more accurately on news stories that further the narrative it believes. Even if you’re aware of your bias and want to get rid of it, it’s practically impossible to do so…at least according to some reading assignments during college. But hey, those were probably biased, too.

In short, any time you choose to believe a news source, you’re taking a leap of faith. Am I wrong in believing that you (and I) are more willing to take leaps of faith for news sources whose narratives align with your (or my) personal values? I suspect that I’m not wrong. Perhaps what we take from the media has more to do with us than with actual truth.

I’m not saying that all news outlets are totally useless…but I am saying that they should be taken with a grain, nay, with a shakerful of salt.

Lesson #2: Beware of mobs.

There’s a recurring theme in A Series of Unfortunate Events: Anything yelled loudly enough in a crowd of people will suddenly seem like a good idea to said crowd of people. Thus, mobs are born.

While physical mobs still happen today, a more rampant form of mobs is Internet mobs. Large crowds of people gather on social media to rant and rave, expressing views that are often inaccurate (fed by the media), or that are extremely disproportionate to the event that caused ire, or both.

The problem with mobs is that a) collectively, they tend to lack common sense, b) they’re practically unstoppable due to sheer numbers, and c) they often resort to violence rather quickly. Sure, mobs that make death threats online often lack the teeth to carry them out, but that doesn’t undermine the fact that throughout history, physical mobs have lynched, tarred and feathered, beaten, and shot people simply because they felt like it. Internet mobs would take longer to reach that peak, but I don't doubt they can get there eventually.

Avoid mobs…and avoid being part of mobs. Don’t get swept into the excitement of a bunch of people posting in angry solidarity on Facebook. Think carefully and rationally before you throw your lot in with anyone.

Please understand that by publishing this post today, I’m not targeting any political group or movement. This is just a general warning about some trends that I’ve seen in recent years…trends that I became aware of by reading an excellent book series.

What Is Blogging For?

Okay, blog readers. Put on your instructional designer hats for a moment, because I'm going to be talking about instructional design this time around.

I've been reading (in order, from the beginning) a blog by instructional design expert Professor Karl Kapp. The blog begins in late 2006, and I've read a good seven and a half years of content so far.

The professor mostly discusses the developing technologies he believes will change the face of learning. The three technologies he talks about that stick out to me are 1) virtual worlds, 2) video games, and 3) blogging.

The blog starts when virtual world Second Life (which I previously had barely heard about) was apparently in its heyday. Professor Kapp hails virtual worlds as being one of the next great technologies of learning. Was he right? Well, I'm not caught up to the present in the blog, so I can't say if he's still posting about virtual worlds or if any real learning developments have taken place there. But I can share my thoughts. I never participated in a virtual world such as the ones Professor Kapp extols, but around that time I did play a fair amount of Neopets, Millsberry, and Webkinz, which are sort of like virtual worlds for kids. I call them "virtual worlds" rather than "sites" because, in my definition, a virtual world is any website where you can do everything you can do in real life (earn and spend money, eat, change clothes, socialize, decorate a home) plus a few things you aren't able to do in real life (take tae kwon do lessons, search for mythical beasts, make crème brulee like a pro). They are very fun, to be sure.

However, the problem with these virtual worlds is the same thing that makes them so fun: they're like another life. It's difficult to live a real life plus an extra virtual life on the side...but it's hard to play in a virtual world casually...but it's unsustainable to stay active in a virtual world if you're going to take your real life seriously. For that reason, I think virtual worlds are better left alone, and for that reason, I don't think they're the future of learning. I think that, for purposes of putting learners in situations that it's difficult to replicate in real life, virtual realities (using virtual reality goggles) or augmented reality (where virtual images appear in a real-life environment, à la Pokémon Go) would be better. It would be harder to lose yourself in those technologies as they require moving about in real space.

Now, video games. I do believe that people can learn skills by playing video games. As I might have said in the past, my family didn't have a gaming system when I was growing up (and I'm absolutely terrible at Mario Kart because of it). Instead, when we wanted to play games, my sisters and I would play Nancy Drew mysteries on interactive CD-ROMs.

A few months ago, Little Sister and I went with some friends to an escape room. We eagerly anticipated being awesome at the escape room, having played so many games where we were super sleuths. Sure enough, it quickly became clear that Little Sister and I had learned mad skillz from our game. We'd learned hard, physical skills (shading pads of paper to find indentations from previous notes; examining everything in the room; checking doorknobs and saying "It's locked") simply by making Nancy perform them. We'd also learned some soft skills, such as finding connections between seemingly unconnected items, not being afraid to try even the wildest ideas, and stepping away from a difficult puzzle to work on something else for a while.

If we learned all that from playing simple games on a PC, then who knows what else we could learn? I will assert, though, that if you can learn something positive from a game so effectively that you can actually replicate it in real life, then you can learn something negative from a game and also have it transfer to real life. Specifically: violence. I don't understand how some people laud games as being able to teach good skills but deny that games can also teach violence. It necessarily goes both ways.

The last technology, blogging, is the one I really wanted to share with y'all. Professor Kapp's blog begins when blogging was a fairly new idea. I find his view of blogging to be so fascinating. He uses blogging in ways that I would never have considered. For example, whenever he releases a book, he does a "blog book tour"—he schedules different blogs relevant to the book's subject to do a review post on a certain day. The professor then directs the traffic from his own blog to the reviews. This means exposure for the book and new readers for both the reviewing blogs and Professor Kapp's blog.

Most notably, he keeps referring to blogging as a learning tool or technology. My initial reaction to this idea was, "That's not how I think of blogging at all!" But then I remembered that in my first post, I essentially said that my blog was meant to educate people about what LDS people are really like. That being the case, most of the time I tend to think of my blog more as a newsletter...or a diary...or a travelogue...or an entertainment outlet. I guess I think my blog is for a lot of things.

Which begs the questions: what is blogging for? I'm not asking this rhetorically. I'd like everyone, from Baby Brother to my friends to the bright intellectuals I met at college, to tell me why they either read blogs, or write blogs, or both. I'm curious. I want to know. I want to learn.

Go on. Share in the comments: in your opinion, what is blogging for?

Fraggle Rock: There's an Episode for That

Timehop informed me that this past week marked the 34th anniversary of the airing of the beloved children's show, Fraggle Rock.

Let's get something straight. Contrary to the belief of some people that I know and even cherish, Fraggle Rock is not some obscure show. It's a little obscure for today's kids, but when it was on the air, it was hot. It was an international program. It got critically praised. It won an Emmy. Not even the Soviet Union could resist it—Fraggle Rock was the first American program that was aired in their country. That makes it historically important.

Jim Henson must have been proud. When making Fraggle Rock, he had a lofty goal to create a television program that would promote world peace. And if every kid in the world had been able to see it, world peace might have actually happened. It's one of the only shows I've ever seen where the characters resolve their differences without changing their fundamental nature. In other words, it's more realistic than a lot of shows that involve some kind of problem-solving.

Although the aesthetic is decidedly eighties, the themes and the humor are timeless. In fact, I would say that Fraggle Rock has an episode for almost any situation in which you could find yourself. For instance:

-You're having trouble with your roommate? Watch "A Cave of One's Own."

-You feel inferior next to the people around you? Watch "I Want to Be You."

-You've been the victim of one too many practical jokes? Watch "Scared Silly."

-You're trying to choose a suitable career? Watch "The Thirty-Minute Work Week," "Gobo's Discovery," "Mokey and the Minstrels," or "All Work and All Play."

-You're materialistic? Watch "The Perfect Blue Rollie."

-You're a pushover? Watch "We Love You, Wembley."

-Your friends don't believe you when you share something important? Watch "The Terrible Tunnel," "Wembley's Wonderful Whoopie Water," or "Wembley's Flight." (Yes, all of these episodes feature Wembley. Nobody ever believes Wembley. It's interesting, because even though he always turns out to be right, they keep not believing him. The turning point is in "Wembley's Flight," when Wembley finally realizes that they're not going to change...and realizes that it doesn't matter whether he gets their validation.)

-You have a hard time getting along with your friends? Watch "I Don't Care," "The Garden Plot," or "Marooned."

-You have a hard time getting along with your parents? Watch just about any episode past the first season featuring Gobo and Traveling Matt.

-You're proud and stubborn, even when you secretly think you might be wrong? Watch "Catch a Tail by the Tiger."

-You're proud and stubborn, and you don't secretly think you might be wrong? Watch "A Friend in Need" or "Gobo's School for Explorers."

-You're a hypochondriac? Watch "Pebble Pox Blues."

-You're greedy? Watch "The Grapes of Generosity."

-You're in an unhealthy relationship? Watch "The Incredible Shrinking Mokey."

-You're a tyrannical ruler? Watch "The Gorg Who Would Be King."

-You have a split personality? Watch "Boober's Dream," "Boober's Quiet Day," or "Sidebottom Blues."

-Your friend or relative passed away? Watch "Gone But Not Forgotten."

-You're a time traveler? Watch "Mokey, Then and Now."

-You want to learn how to better feel the Holy Spirit? Watch "The Voice Inside."

-You think you might be an atheist? Watch "The Bells of Fraggle Rock."

-You want to be an amateur detective? Watch "Inspector Red."

-You're in the middle of a teen pregnancy? Watch "Wembley's Egg."

-You want to see the most perfect series finale in the history of series finales? Watch the last four episodes of the last season.

Of course, in order to appreciate the last four episodes, you'd have to watch the other 92 episodes first.

TOTALLY WORTH IT, THOUGH. Happy 34th, Fraggle Rock!

No Go Snow

My weather app is very eager to please, but also very wrong.

WEATHER APP: It's snowing! Right now! Look out for the snow!

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Gosh! (goes outside) Um...weather app...it's not snowing.

WEATHER APP: Snowing!

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: ...no.

WEATHER APP: Right now!

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: ...no.

WEATHER APP: Oh.

...

...

...

WEATHER APP: In one hour!

In short, I woke up 5 a.m. the other day, thinking I would have ride the bus to work to avoid the winter storm my weather app eagerly promised.

Did it snow? No. No, it did not. Not when I woke up. Not when I went back to sleep due to a lack of snow. Not when I ate breakfast two hours later. Not when I left my apartment at 7:40. Not on my way to work. Not while I was working (I sit near a window). Not when I left work at 5 p.m.

WEATHER APP: Snowing! Snowing soon!

An hour later...still nothing.

Finally, late that night, it started snowing. I set my alarm for 5:00 a.m. again and checked my app when I got up. The app said it had stopped snowing, so I went back to sleep.

When I did get up and went to work, I discovered that even though it hadn't snowed for hours, most of the roads were not sufficiently cleared, and it was Snowcopalypse. Everyone drove to work in a manner reminiscent of Bambi learning to skate.

Now, in addition to the weather app, I'm constantly checking road conditions and traffic times, trying to accurately gauge what kind of fate I'll meet whenever I step outside.

In short, winter is no fun.