When I got my smartphone two and a half years ago, I was decidedly unimpressed. I asked Siri to find me a boyfriend and she wasn't able to. Ripoff.
Also, I quickly noticed a strange autocorrect setting. Any time I try to type "on" but accidentally type, "ob," the phone corrects it to "Brownies." With a capital B.
I consider this to be extremely unnatural, not least because I don't talk about brownies very much. Actually, for a long time there I suspected it was something Little Sister had set up on my phone (she looooves brownies and bugging me), but I never actually found out if that was the case...
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
At the Polls
I'm noticing that more and more people are conducting polls on Facebook, Instagram stories, and Twitter. Sometimes I think they're genuinely trying to crowdsource their decisions...but more often, I think it's just for fun.
A previous blog I created on Blogger (before Blogger became the armpit of the Internet) had a little poll widget on it. I'd ask random questions, such as "What boy should I have a crush on?" (Yup...I was a teenager...don't judge too harshly.)
I don't think Blogger's capable of handling poll widgets anymore (RIP Blogger's usefulness). But just for fun, shall we have a poll? We shall. We shall be meta and have a poll about polls.
The poll is: Which of the following polls would you be most likely to participate in?
A) A poll asking who Awkward Mormon Girl should date (for old times's sake)
B) A poll asking where Awkward Mormon Girl should travel (I actually would like this advice)
C) A poll asking when Ask Awkward Mormon Girl should be a thing again (it's overdue)
D) A poll asking which Harry Potter character is actually the worst (because I am constantly stymied by the number of people who think Ron is the worst character when clearly it's Snape)
Be an American and vote!
A previous blog I created on Blogger (before Blogger became the armpit of the Internet) had a little poll widget on it. I'd ask random questions, such as "What boy should I have a crush on?" (Yup...I was a teenager...don't judge too harshly.)
I don't think Blogger's capable of handling poll widgets anymore (RIP Blogger's usefulness). But just for fun, shall we have a poll? We shall. We shall be meta and have a poll about polls.
The poll is: Which of the following polls would you be most likely to participate in?
A) A poll asking who Awkward Mormon Girl should date (for old times's sake)
B) A poll asking where Awkward Mormon Girl should travel (I actually would like this advice)
C) A poll asking when Ask Awkward Mormon Girl should be a thing again (it's overdue)
D) A poll asking which Harry Potter character is actually the worst (because I am constantly stymied by the number of people who think Ron is the worst character when clearly it's Snape)
Be an American and vote!
Monday, January 29, 2018
My Utah Accent
When I worked in fast food, I encountered some interesting human specimens. We got all kinds: Unbelievably nice. Unbelievably rude. Junior high kids. Senior citizens. Generic. Extremely quirky.
One man came in just once, on a bright summer's day. If I recall correctly, he was a shorter fellow with gray hair and glasses. I was taking his order when he said something like, "You have such a good Utah accent."
Obviously, I was taken aback. To the best of my memory, the rest of the conversation went along these lines.
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Uh...thanks?
CUSTOMER: Oh, it's a compliment. I'm not from around here. I'm a linguist, so I'm interested in accents, but for some reason I just can't do a Utah one.
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Oh, okay. Well, your order is such-and-such-and-such.
CUSTOMER: You just do it SO WELL!
One man came in just once, on a bright summer's day. If I recall correctly, he was a shorter fellow with gray hair and glasses. I was taking his order when he said something like, "You have such a good Utah accent."
Obviously, I was taken aback. To the best of my memory, the rest of the conversation went along these lines.
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Uh...thanks?
CUSTOMER: Oh, it's a compliment. I'm not from around here. I'm a linguist, so I'm interested in accents, but for some reason I just can't do a Utah one.
AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Oh, okay. Well, your order is such-and-such-and-such.
CUSTOMER: You just do it SO WELL!
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Random Updates
What's new with me? Not a ton. But there's a lot new with almost everyone else. So...
The Seamstress is getting married. Obviously this is a good thing, but because of this everything is slowly being moved out of the apartment. Like the piano. And the TV. And the things we sit on. Also, it's been a while (think over three years) since we've had any turnover in this home, so that's a little jarring. But it's grand for the Seamstress to get to move on to the other parts of life.
Flower Child is also getting married.
So is Valiant.
Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister went to New York to visit Older Sister a few weeks ago. Not long before that, Rosebud and her husband were in New York. When they returned, Rosebud said to Little Sister, "Oh hey, there's this Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image you might like..." And Little Sister was all, "YEAH I KNOW." Because the exhibit finally opened in summer 2017. And Little Sister got to go this month, and she geeked out a ton on Instagram, videoing the Cantus and Gobo puppets and the like. She brought us back nice Fraggle souvenirs, too.
Baby Sister is still loving the mish. Here's a recent email snippet that I found particularly amusing:
Little Brother is starting to scare me on account of his Disney collection (which was augmented with the Robin Hood display piece over Christmas).
EARTHQUAKE HAZARD. BEAUTIFUL EARTHQUAKE HAZARD.
The Seamstress is getting married. Obviously this is a good thing, but because of this everything is slowly being moved out of the apartment. Like the piano. And the TV. And the things we sit on. Also, it's been a while (think over three years) since we've had any turnover in this home, so that's a little jarring. But it's grand for the Seamstress to get to move on to the other parts of life.
Flower Child is also getting married.
So is Valiant.
Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister went to New York to visit Older Sister a few weeks ago. Not long before that, Rosebud and her husband were in New York. When they returned, Rosebud said to Little Sister, "Oh hey, there's this Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image you might like..." And Little Sister was all, "YEAH I KNOW." Because the exhibit finally opened in summer 2017. And Little Sister got to go this month, and she geeked out a ton on Instagram, videoing the Cantus and Gobo puppets and the like. She brought us back nice Fraggle souvenirs, too.
Baby Sister is still loving the mish. Here's a recent email snippet that I found particularly amusing:
Little Brother is starting to scare me on account of his Disney collection (which was augmented with the Robin Hood display piece over Christmas).
EARTHQUAKE HAZARD. BEAUTIFUL EARTHQUAKE HAZARD.
Friday, January 26, 2018
Return to Arizona
Last year at my grandpa's funeral, someone mentioned that they had written Grandpa while serving their LDS mission and asked him if he'd really thought about the gospel. Grandpa wrote back and said something like, "I've been waiting for this. Every single grandchild who goes on a mission writes me a letter like this at some point!"
I guess that makes Baby Sister the first missionary not to write a letter like that. For one, our grandpa passed away before she left on her mission. Nay, before she was even thinking about it. For another thing, back in October, we went back to Arizona and had Grandpa's temple work done!
Some people find posthumous temple work polarizing. I feel like it's pretty straightforward. There are a lot of restrictions on who you can do work for, and we believe that if someone doesn't want to be a Mormon, they're free to reject the ordinances in the next life. We just happen to believe that the living cannot be saved unless all of the dead also have the opportunity to be saved. It's, like, equal-opportunity salvation.
Being in the temple and seeing that ordinance performed was really special. I for one feel strongly that my Grandpa did accept it and that he now wants to be Mormon. All those missionary grandkids finally wore him down, I guess. But I won't know for sure until I see my grandpa again...which hopefully won't be for a while.
(This trip was also a road trip. It was also very short, although we did leave a day earlier than we did last year (Thursday instead of Friday). This time, we had no Baby Sister but we did have Mr. Little Sister, making this the first time we ever took a family trip with more males than females. Oddities of the trip included Baby Sister and Mr. Little Sister obsessing over cacti, Baby Brother spilling syrup on his pants during the hotel breakfast and being called "syrup pants" by Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister, and all three of the brothers arguing over whether "hash browns" is pronounced "hash browns" or "hash browns." (The dispute over this literally went for like a half hour.) We also swam, night and day—that's how I met the Canadian I mentioned in an earlier post. Plus, we were able to spend some time with Grandma, which was great because it's unlikely she'll make it back to Utah anytime soon.)
I guess that makes Baby Sister the first missionary not to write a letter like that. For one, our grandpa passed away before she left on her mission. Nay, before she was even thinking about it. For another thing, back in October, we went back to Arizona and had Grandpa's temple work done!
Some people find posthumous temple work polarizing. I feel like it's pretty straightforward. There are a lot of restrictions on who you can do work for, and we believe that if someone doesn't want to be a Mormon, they're free to reject the ordinances in the next life. We just happen to believe that the living cannot be saved unless all of the dead also have the opportunity to be saved. It's, like, equal-opportunity salvation.
Being in the temple and seeing that ordinance performed was really special. I for one feel strongly that my Grandpa did accept it and that he now wants to be Mormon. All those missionary grandkids finally wore him down, I guess. But I won't know for sure until I see my grandpa again...which hopefully won't be for a while.
(This trip was also a road trip. It was also very short, although we did leave a day earlier than we did last year (Thursday instead of Friday). This time, we had no Baby Sister but we did have Mr. Little Sister, making this the first time we ever took a family trip with more males than females. Oddities of the trip included Baby Sister and Mr. Little Sister obsessing over cacti, Baby Brother spilling syrup on his pants during the hotel breakfast and being called "syrup pants" by Little Sister and Mr. Little Sister, and all three of the brothers arguing over whether "hash browns" is pronounced "hash browns" or "hash browns." (The dispute over this literally went for like a half hour.) We also swam, night and day—that's how I met the Canadian I mentioned in an earlier post. Plus, we were able to spend some time with Grandma, which was great because it's unlikely she'll make it back to Utah anytime soon.)
Monday, January 22, 2018
Upon the Passing of a Prophet
A few weeks ago, President Thomas S. Monson passed away. He was the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for ten years and led my people through some defining moments.
His predecessor, Gordon B. Hinckley, was the first prophet I remember with any clarity. President Hinckley was such a cute old man. He reminded me of my great-grandfather, and, young and impatient thought I was, I didn't begrudge having to listen to him speak during the long hours of general conference. It wasn't hard for me to accept that he was the Lord's mouthpiece because he was just so likable. President Hinckley's counselor, President Monson, was a different matter. I thought that he looked kind of funny and that his lisping voice was uncomfortable-making. I didn't like listening to him speak at all.
When President Hinckley passed away, my mom and sister were really excited about President Monson becoming the next president of the church. I didn't feel that way, though.
However. Three months later, when President Monson stood to speak at the next general conference session, I was shocked. He had aged so much since the last conference! He looked haggard and worn...not good at all. At that moment, I came to appreciate the passing of the mantle of a prophet and saw with my own eyes that it carries an almost physical weight. I also understood that even though I didn't care much for President Thomas S. Monson personally, he really was the new mouthpiece of the Lord. I could sustain him without reservation.
Over the years, I did come to appreciate President Monson as a person, but if I hadn't, it wouldn't have mattered or changed the authority that he held. And over the last few years, as President Russell M. Nelson drew closer to being the next president of the church, I observed him closely and listened to what he had to say. I've had an usually large number of opportunities to hear President Nelson and/or his wife speak outside of general conference the last few years, both through broadcasts and in person. President Nelson's words are good, and they are true, and I know they are the Lord's.
His predecessor, Gordon B. Hinckley, was the first prophet I remember with any clarity. President Hinckley was such a cute old man. He reminded me of my great-grandfather, and, young and impatient thought I was, I didn't begrudge having to listen to him speak during the long hours of general conference. It wasn't hard for me to accept that he was the Lord's mouthpiece because he was just so likable. President Hinckley's counselor, President Monson, was a different matter. I thought that he looked kind of funny and that his lisping voice was uncomfortable-making. I didn't like listening to him speak at all.
When President Hinckley passed away, my mom and sister were really excited about President Monson becoming the next president of the church. I didn't feel that way, though.
However. Three months later, when President Monson stood to speak at the next general conference session, I was shocked. He had aged so much since the last conference! He looked haggard and worn...not good at all. At that moment, I came to appreciate the passing of the mantle of a prophet and saw with my own eyes that it carries an almost physical weight. I also understood that even though I didn't care much for President Thomas S. Monson personally, he really was the new mouthpiece of the Lord. I could sustain him without reservation.
Over the years, I did come to appreciate President Monson as a person, but if I hadn't, it wouldn't have mattered or changed the authority that he held. And over the last few years, as President Russell M. Nelson drew closer to being the next president of the church, I observed him closely and listened to what he had to say. I've had an usually large number of opportunities to hear President Nelson and/or his wife speak outside of general conference the last few years, both through broadcasts and in person. President Nelson's words are good, and they are true, and I know they are the Lord's.
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Some Roads Are Paved with These
I sometimes find myself having this kind of internal conversation.
ME: I tried my best!
ALSO ME: Did you really?
ME: Well, no...but I tried my best to try my best.
ALSO ME: Are you sure?
ME: Okay, maybe not...but I had GOOD INTENTIONS!
ME: I tried my best!
ALSO ME: Did you really?
ME: Well, no...but I tried my best to try my best.
ALSO ME: Are you sure?
ME: Okay, maybe not...but I had GOOD INTENTIONS!
Saturday, January 13, 2018
A Blessing to this World
I have my own personal rules/theories about how each social media site works.
Facebook: Facebook is like going to a party with everyone you know and have ever known. My rules about Facebook are:
a) I have to Facebook friend everyone I know and keep them as a Facebook friend unless they're creepy. If I find them offensive, I unfollow them but remain friends.
b) Facebook is for keeping up with people's lives. I understand why people use it as a platform for voicing opinions about important issues, but for me that feels like yelling out my personal views in the middle of a crowded party. So I very rarely talk about anything of substance on Facebook. If I have something important I want to say, I lure people off Facebook and onto this blog. That way people who don't want to hear my opinions don't have to be subject to them. (Also, I feel like people who know me should already know what I think and believe based on how I conduct myself. But if you're morbidly curious and want me to spell out my political or religious views in great detail, just ask. Really.)
Instagram: Instagram is more of a feel-good, slice-of-life platform. On Instagram, I will talk more in-depth about what I care about but to a wider audience that sometimes includes people I don't know. Unlike Facebook, Instagram is almost always positive and thoughtful. It's also a good way to find out what's going on in a celebrity's life, but it's not a great place for interacting with one on equal footing—because of all social media, Instagram is probably the most one-sided and easiest to curate.
Twitter: Twitter is very American; if Alexis de Tocqueville ever heard of it, he would roll over in his grave. It's the great equalizer of social media because it's a forum where everyone talks to everyone else regardless of status or fame. You're judged almost solely on your content. This means that if you want to connect with a celebrity, Twitter is usually the place to go. If you want to interact with people privately and be limited just to talking within your own social circle, Twitter is not for you. Also, I feel like by its nature, Twitter is the appropriate place to debate something if debates must be had.
One of the real reasons that I have a Twitter account is so that I can reach out to celebrities whose work I admire. I enjoy these interactions, probably for the same reason that I enjoy meeting celebrities at Comic Con. In fact, the other day I was bored, so I tweeted at Adam McArthur.
If you're wondering, "Who's Adam McArthur?" then that is shameful. A few weeks ago, I didn't know who Adam McArthur was either, but I have since repented of my ways and forsaken them. I now know that Adam McArthur is the voice of Marco Diaz in one of Disney's finest cartoon series, Star vs. the Forces of Evil.
Seriously. It's reeeaaally good. And Marco, who is the male lead, is a reeeaaally good character. He has the most personality of any Disney princess's male love interest ever.
I've been on a Star vs. kick in the weeks since I started watching it. Baby Brother even gave me a book featuring Star and Marco for Christmas (here pictured with many other wonderful and nerdy items which I received).
Since I've been enjoying Adam McArthur's work so much, I decided I'd let him know.
And he responded.
Ideal use of Twitter = executed.
Facebook: Facebook is like going to a party with everyone you know and have ever known. My rules about Facebook are:
a) I have to Facebook friend everyone I know and keep them as a Facebook friend unless they're creepy. If I find them offensive, I unfollow them but remain friends.
b) Facebook is for keeping up with people's lives. I understand why people use it as a platform for voicing opinions about important issues, but for me that feels like yelling out my personal views in the middle of a crowded party. So I very rarely talk about anything of substance on Facebook. If I have something important I want to say, I lure people off Facebook and onto this blog. That way people who don't want to hear my opinions don't have to be subject to them. (Also, I feel like people who know me should already know what I think and believe based on how I conduct myself. But if you're morbidly curious and want me to spell out my political or religious views in great detail, just ask. Really.)
Instagram: Instagram is more of a feel-good, slice-of-life platform. On Instagram, I will talk more in-depth about what I care about but to a wider audience that sometimes includes people I don't know. Unlike Facebook, Instagram is almost always positive and thoughtful. It's also a good way to find out what's going on in a celebrity's life, but it's not a great place for interacting with one on equal footing—because of all social media, Instagram is probably the most one-sided and easiest to curate.
Twitter: Twitter is very American; if Alexis de Tocqueville ever heard of it, he would roll over in his grave. It's the great equalizer of social media because it's a forum where everyone talks to everyone else regardless of status or fame. You're judged almost solely on your content. This means that if you want to connect with a celebrity, Twitter is usually the place to go. If you want to interact with people privately and be limited just to talking within your own social circle, Twitter is not for you. Also, I feel like by its nature, Twitter is the appropriate place to debate something if debates must be had.
One of the real reasons that I have a Twitter account is so that I can reach out to celebrities whose work I admire. I enjoy these interactions, probably for the same reason that I enjoy meeting celebrities at Comic Con. In fact, the other day I was bored, so I tweeted at Adam McArthur.
If you're wondering, "Who's Adam McArthur?" then that is shameful. A few weeks ago, I didn't know who Adam McArthur was either, but I have since repented of my ways and forsaken them. I now know that Adam McArthur is the voice of Marco Diaz in one of Disney's finest cartoon series, Star vs. the Forces of Evil.
Seriously. It's reeeaaally good. And Marco, who is the male lead, is a reeeaaally good character. He has the most personality of any Disney princess's male love interest ever.
I've been on a Star vs. kick in the weeks since I started watching it. Baby Brother even gave me a book featuring Star and Marco for Christmas (here pictured with many other wonderful and nerdy items which I received).
 |
| He was so excited about giving me the book as a gift, he could barely stand it. |
And he responded.
Ideal use of Twitter = executed.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Quirks for Perks
I've been thinking a lot lately about interpersonal relationships.
In most relationships, each person has some annoying or thoughtless things that they do. The other person puts up with these things they don't like (quirks) because of things that the person does that they do like (perks). (Although if they like the other person enough, sometimes the quirks actually become the perks.) I'm calling the system "(putting up with) quirks for perks."
Any thoughts on this?
In most relationships, each person has some annoying or thoughtless things that they do. The other person puts up with these things they don't like (quirks) because of things that the person does that they do like (perks). (Although if they like the other person enough, sometimes the quirks actually become the perks.) I'm calling the system "(putting up with) quirks for perks."
Any thoughts on this?
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Not Very Long Ago in a Galaxy That's Literally Right Here
Last year was Star Wars, pretty much.
I imagine at this point, some of you are thinking, "Oh, what did you think of the new Star Wars movie, Awkward Mormon Girl?" My response to that is that I'm not a huge Star Wars person so maybe my opinion doesn't matter that much, but first of all I dislike the entire premise of the new series. It was a pretty weak writing choice to return everything to the status quo of Episode IV, in my (and Baby Brother's) opinion. Second of all, there better be a reason why we were forced to watch Rey snap her fingers at her own reflection for a million minutes, or else I'm gonna be real annoyed. But I digress.
Look, Star Wars is all about bringing balance to the Force. 2017 brought balance to the Force...my personal Force, anyway. While some years are mostly good and some years are mostly bad, if we separated out the good and the bad of my 2017, I suspect that it would boil down to the equivalent of six months of bliss and six months of ghastly horrors.
I imagine that at this point, some of you are thinking, "What bliss? All we heard about all year was the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets."
Hmmm, yes. Well, in the interest of transparency, there were a few months in there where I was blissfully happy...I just didn't share because I tend to keep my happiness to myself for as long as possible. I'm really private that way. And even in the middle of the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets, there was some pretty amazing stuff. I just wasn't as focused on it because I'm a human, and humans are the worst.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that 2017 was a year of balance. The dark side and the light side offset each other nicely, and we didn't even have to kill all the Padawans to achieve that.
Goodbye, 2017. Welcome, 2018! Bring it on.
(But seriously...why doesn't anyone tell Rey that blue lightsaber she's using killed a bunch of younglings? Doesn't anyone think that's important for her to know? This is why Star Wars is not my jam.)
I imagine at this point, some of you are thinking, "Oh, what did you think of the new Star Wars movie, Awkward Mormon Girl?" My response to that is that I'm not a huge Star Wars person so maybe my opinion doesn't matter that much, but first of all I dislike the entire premise of the new series. It was a pretty weak writing choice to return everything to the status quo of Episode IV, in my (and Baby Brother's) opinion. Second of all, there better be a reason why we were forced to watch Rey snap her fingers at her own reflection for a million minutes, or else I'm gonna be real annoyed. But I digress.
Look, Star Wars is all about bringing balance to the Force. 2017 brought balance to the Force...my personal Force, anyway. While some years are mostly good and some years are mostly bad, if we separated out the good and the bad of my 2017, I suspect that it would boil down to the equivalent of six months of bliss and six months of ghastly horrors.
I imagine that at this point, some of you are thinking, "What bliss? All we heard about all year was the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets."
Hmmm, yes. Well, in the interest of transparency, there were a few months in there where I was blissfully happy...I just didn't share because I tend to keep my happiness to myself for as long as possible. I'm really private that way. And even in the middle of the migraines and the Achilles tendons and the closing Chinese buffets, there was some pretty amazing stuff. I just wasn't as focused on it because I'm a human, and humans are the worst.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that 2017 was a year of balance. The dark side and the light side offset each other nicely, and we didn't even have to kill all the Padawans to achieve that.
Goodbye, 2017. Welcome, 2018! Bring it on.
(But seriously...why doesn't anyone tell Rey that blue lightsaber she's using killed a bunch of younglings? Doesn't anyone think that's important for her to know? This is why Star Wars is not my jam.)
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