Caroll Spinney: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

For Christmas, Little Sister and Baby Sister got tickets for Little Brother and me to a live showing of I Am Big Bird, followed by a question-and-answer session with Caroll Spinney. Caroll Spinney, for all you non-Muppet people, is the original performer of Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch.

Now, there are Muppet fans crazier than me. I know of some people who are so obsessed with Muppets that they would spend their life savings on a clipping from Jim Henson's ficus plant. Not that Jim Henson had a ficus plant. That I know of.

Anyways, I'm not as into Muppets as some people. But they do have a special place in my heart and life. Muppet Treasure Island is my second-favorite movie; MuppetVision 3-D is one of my favorite non-roller coaster attractions at Disneyland and Disney World; I have my share of Muppet merchandise. This love of Muppets has led me to want to know more about the amazing men who perform them. So getting to see Caroll Spinney, the man behind characters that have been beloved to me since I was a kid? Priceless. A great gift. Little Brother and I were very excited.

Yesterday, January 29th, was the long-awaited day. The night before, I kind of freaking out. Getting from my workplace to Kingsbury Hall before the performance started was going to be pretty stressful, even if everything went as planned. But if things didn't go as planned...well, let's just say I filled my purse with all kinds of things. My glasses, in case one of my contacts ripped or was irritating my eye. My phone charger, in case my phone died. A piece of paper with the addresses of Kingsbury Hall and the parking lot, in case my phone navigation went crazy like it did at Viola's wedding. Nothing would come between us and Caroll Spinney. No, nothing.

Except bad snow. Or if my car had another problem. I couldn't prepare for those things except to pray that they wouldn't happen. By the time we were supposed to go, I was really stressed out.

Stressfully, I drove Little Brother and myself to get sushi at the Happy Sumo. Stressfully, I paid for the sushi. Stressfully, I drove us out of the parking garage. And stressfully, I dropped my parking garage ticket under my seat.

I almost had a heart attack and died, right there in the parking garage. But I managed to recover the ticket and remain alive. Until I couldn't find the parking garage exit and almost had another heart attack. And so on and so forth. With lots of incidents of almost-cardiac arrest, we inched through the dark, rainy streets of Salt Lake City until we reached Kingsbury Hall.

By the time we got there, I was so stressed out, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to enjoy myself. But despite my misgivings, I parked Bernard in a parking space where we were joined by a lime-green car with a Kermit the Frog sticker in the window. I suspected the driver of this car was the kind of diehard Muppet fan I was describing earlier. There was probably a clipping of Jim Henson's ficus plant in the front seat.

We picked our tickets up from will call, went into the theatre, and sat down. And so the evening commenced.

First, there was the showing of the movie. It was a beautiful movie. Caroll Spinney is also a sort of artist-animator-cartoonist, and it looked like that either he had animated segments of the movie or someone else had animated them after his style. So it was a neat combination of home video, footage of Muppet productions, interviews, and animations of stories from Caroll's past.

My only complaint about the movie...well, I love Steve Whitmire. He is my favorite Muppeteer. Caroll Spinney actually discovered him. So at the portion of the movie when Jim Henson died and Steve Whitmire was chosen to play Kermit the Frog, Caroll started talking about Steve. I was excited because I thought I might hear some cool Steve stories. Caroll Spinney said something like, "He was a talented young puppeteer." Then they showed a clip of Steve Whitmire waving at the camera on a Muppet set or something. Aaaand that was the end of the Steve Whitmire portion of the movie. Boo.

But anyways, great movie. I laughed a lot and cried a lot and even coughed a lot after choking on my own tears. By the end of it, my stress had almost completely melted away. Although I already knew a lot of the things they mentioned in the movie, I learned a lot I'd never heard before. Also, in the words of Little Brother, "Caroll Spinney and his wife are the cutest couple ever!"

The movie ended. Everybody applauded. And then from the back of the theatre, Caroll Spinney and his wife Debra began to walk down the aisle, and everybody leapt to their feet and applauded some more.

"That was so weird!" Little Brother said during the brief intermission between the movie and the question-and-answer. "We just saw them on the screen, and then they were in the theatre!"

"Like MuppetVision 3D," I suggested.

"Caroll Spinney 3D."

Around us, everybody was chatting excitedly about the movie. I saw people raising their hands in the air and opening and closing their fingers in an imitation of the way Caroll puppeteered Big Bird, marveling at the skill and talent it takes to make a Muppet come to life. I knew that's what they were doing because I've often done it myself. The Muppeteers are among some of the greatest actors in the world. They not only do amazing acting, but they do it through a body that doesn't even belong to them. Acting is hard enough without going through an additional medium!

Then it was time for the Q&A. The mediator (who was some guy from KUED named Ken Verdoia who is probably famous but whom I don't care about) invited those of us with the not-so-good seats in the back to move closer, which we did with pleasure. Then Caroll and Debra came out, and everybody stood and applauded again. We would have stood and applauded for Caroll Spinney all day because Caroll Spinney.

So, they all sat down onstage. Debra Spinney had a gigantic purse, like maybe she had a phone charger and her extra glasses in there. But the gigantic purse was quickly forgotten as Ken Verdoia (whoever he is) started asking questions.

First, he asked a broad, sweeping question about Caroll Spinney's career.

Now, the movie talked about how Caroll met Jim Henson and ended up working for him. Caroll was performing at a puppetry festival in Salt Lake City. His act was a disaster, but Jim, who was watching, thought he handled it well, so he offered Caroll a job working on Sesame Street.

This was one of the animated portions of the movie. While we were watching it, I noticed that the animation of the theatre looked like Kingsbury Hall, right down to the murals on the wall. But my suspicions weren't confirmed until during the Q&A when Caroll said something like, "Well, the story begins here." He said that the performance had happened in Kingsbury Hall. "Jim was sitting right over there." He pointed.

And then I almost had a heart attack again because Jim Henson, one of my heroes, had been in this building! Wow!!!

I studied Caroll as he talked. He was wearing a green pants, a brown shirt, and a tan jacket. As for the rest of him...I don't have a picture, but this random picture from the Internet suffices.

I think that's even the same jacket!

He's about the same age as my grandmother, and he had the same tendency to start telling a story in the middle of another story. But never mind that; the audience ate up everything he said. He would occasionally go into Big Bird's voice as he talked, and the audience just couldn't get enough of that. There was more applause every time. Also, he had a very little-kiddish air about him. He talked about Snuffy as if he were real; he talked about all the puppets as if they were real. Which, you know, they are to so many people. But he had no self-consciousness about it whatsoever.

Ken Verdoia also took questions from the audience. There were two little kids who had brought puppets who asked questions. At their age, I probably would have asked dumb questions, or used my puppet to ask the questions. But these kids were way smarter than I was. One asked if Caroll had any advice for young puppeteers.

Caroll gave a pragmatic answer. Then Ken Verdoia started rambling on, saying something like, "Hold onto your dream...people will tell you you're crazy...and then when you become a puppeteer, hold onto something special..."

And I was like, "What are you talking about, Ken Verdoia? Nobody wants your advice. Nobody's even here to see you!" But then I realized he was trying to work up a bit of an intro segue thing, because out of Debra Spinney's gigantic purse came Oscar the Grouch!

Another random picture from the Internet.

I've heard a lot about the relationship between the Muppet and the Muppeteer, but this was my first time seeing it in action. As soon as he was out of the bag, Oscar said something grumpy. Caroll chided him, and Oscar turned around to Caroll and said, "Who are you?"

Later, somebody mentioned puppets.

OSCAR: I hate puppets!

CAROLL: He doesn't mean that.

The other little kid asked, "What makes an act funny?"

Being an improv comedian myself, I was especially interested in Caroll's response. Here's what he said: "You gain a lot from the audience. The audience is part of the show."

Anyways, Caroll and Debra shared stories with us. They talked about the work and some of the performers Caroll worked with. They answered some more questions from the audience and from Ken Verdoia. Soon, regrettably, the evening was over.

Ken Verdoia, I guess trying the whole thing altogether, was all, "That's the great thing about Big Bird. A bird teaches us how to be better people." And then Caroll and Debra left the theatre, and everybody stood up and applauded again.

So Little Brother and I left, awash in the magic of an amazing performer from an amazing tradition. We have no photos of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so the way I'm trying to preserve this amazing experience is by turning it into this story. Memories fade, but stories can be read over and over. And better yet, they can be shared. So now that you've read this, it's kind of like you, too, got to go see Caroll Spinney: the man, the myth, the legend.

My Fourth Stitch Fix Experience

Okay, everybody. First off, this is my three hundredth and first post, so kudos to me for that.

Secondly, I got a Fix the week before Christmas, so I suppose I should tell you all about that thing. Get ready for badly lit photographs of clothing and my professionally baseless, unfounded opinions about them.

Last time I talked about Stitch Fix, I mentioned how my Fixes never ever come on Thursdays but I desperately want them to come on Thursdays. Well, this Fix actually came on a Thursday...probably because it was the week of that huge snowstorm. The storm undoubtedly slowed down the mail. So...yay storm?

For this Fix, I asked for something festive to wear to Christmas Eve lunch with my younger sisters. Here's what my cute little note said:

Hi Awkward Mormon Girl! I can't believe it's already December, this year has flown by! For a festive Christmas Eve outfit I thought you could wear the Amy Matto Swing Skirt paired with the Market & Spruce Sweater- I am assuming it might be chilly around then so wear this look with tights and a pair of boots. Still no luck on the polka dot jeans but I did have the Margaret M Pant with the polka dot print, these pants are great for work and can be dressed up for the holidays. Since you loved that cobalt blue color from the skirt in a past Fix I thought you would love the Collective Concepts blouse for a bold colored piece to wear with the Margaret M pants along with the Bay to Baubles Necklace- you can never have enough sparkle! I am looking forward to styling you in the New Year! Have a great holiday! -Jessica V

No Xo??? That's new.

My first reaction when looking at the stack of clothes was that none of it looked very festive. When I said "festive," I was thinking more along the lines of "red and gold and sparkly." Which means, therefore, that in the future when I'm looking for red and gold and sparkly, that's what I should specifically ask for. Lesson learned.

Amy Matto Bonnie Lace Detail Swing Skirt: The moment I pulled this skirt out of the box, I was like, "Hey, wait a minute!" The Seamstress got a Fix of her own back in November, and I was pretty sure that this exact same skirt was in her Fix. The Seamstress found this skirt to be a) not flattering, as the waistband was extremely tight and stretchy, as well as b) a little bit short for comfort as well as c) vastly overpriced for the quality. I concurred with her findings. I suspect this was a skirt that had been hanging out in Stitch Fix's inventory for a long time which they were desperate to get rid of, which made me feel like this Fix was less tailored to my taste and more impersonal. Verdict: Send back.

Market & Spruce Fierro Elbow Patch Crew Neck Sweater: This sweater did not go well with the skirt as suggested by Jessica V, mainly because of the way the skirt waistband settled. However, it had fun teal elbow patches, and I really liked the color, and it was super comfy. Plus, it was green, which is festive. Verdict: Keep.

Margaret M Emer Printed Knit Straight Leg Pant: First off, I still think saying "pant" instead of "pants" is pretentious. Secondly, I already have blue polka dot work pants. Thirdly, even if I didn't, I didn't like these enough to buy. Verdict: Send back.

Bay to Baubles Brinley Flower Gemstone Necklace: I really liked this necklace with the sweater. However, I knew I would never wear it with anything else. In the end, I decided I could find something just as good or better at Target. Verdict: Send back.

Collective Concepts Albert Button Down Blouse:: Pretty color, strange fit. I have a similar (red) blouse that I got at Ross for ten dollars, which made me less-than-eager to buy another, more pricey one. Verdict: Send back.

All in all, this Fix was a little disappointing. On the other hand, I got what I needed, which was something festive to wear on Christmas Eve. I wore some red jewelry with the green sweater, and it turned out to be a really fun look.

In other fun Stitch Fix news...over the weekend we had another storm around Hometown. On Saturday night, I had to cut short a fun evening with Viola so that I could make it home before the storm got too crazy. Getting home proved to be more difficult than I thought, and in the middle of making phone calls to family members I noticed an email from Stitch Fix that said, "$25 Credit is Yours!"

At first I didn't pay much attention to it, but when I opened it up later it said inside, "Haley's first Fix just shipped, so you've received $25 in credit!"

Then I realized that some delightful blog reader named Haley must have used my referral link to sign up for Stitch Fix! Thanks, Haley! When I get my springtime Fix in March, I'll think of you! As well as I can, anyways, since I don't think I actually know you.

Mercury

Speaking of car trouble, Little Sister just got a new car. It's a blue-green Mercury that she is calling Hermes.

We were discussing Hermes through text.

Little Sister: Yeah, it's a weirdly nice but temperamental car

Little Sister: And a shaking nightmare on the freeway

Me: One might say it's...mercurial.

Me: Ba dum ching!

Little Sister: HAHAHAH

Little Sister: did you just come up with that??

Me: Yes. Yes, I did.

Little Sister: I HAVE A GENIUS SISTER

I do have some mad pun skillz.

Little Sister: And I set that joke up literally perfect for you.

Little Sister: Good team

Me: Together, we could rock the comedy world.

A few minutes later...

Me: I have another one.

Me: When you're in your car and you're backing up, you should cry, "MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE!"

Little Sister: Hahahahaha Okay pretty good but you probably stop now while you're ahead.

Goodreads Reviews

I have read a lot of not-so-great books lately. So I decided to try a function of Goodreads that I've never used before: reviews.

For kicks and giggles, here are some of my Goodreads reviews. There are spoilers within, so if you want to read these books and be surprised, you shouldn't read these reviews.

Review for The Last Siege by Jonathan Stroud:

This book was weird. Not weird like mystery meat casserole weird, but weird like when you order a taco expecting that there will be lettuce and cheese and tomatoes and maybe some guacamole on it, but there isn't anything inside the shell but taco meat, and it's not very good taco meat at that. That is what this book is like.

I loved the castle. It sounded very much like the Castello di Avio in Italy. I fell in love with the castle in this book as I fell in love with the Castello di Avio years ago on a study abroad trip. However, I didn't fall in love with anyone else. Emily, Simon, and Marcus were all right sods. Why did they get names but the castle didn't? The castle is the real hero of this book. It deserved a name and a happy ending where a billionaire decides to completely restore it to its former glory.

6/10, would not siege again. Thank goodness the title specifically says that it's the LAST siege.

Review for Elixir by Hilary Duff (yes, that Hilary Duff):

It's a tale as old as time: boy meets girl, girl dies, boy becomes immortal, boy follows reincarnations of girl around for hundreds of years even though his presence causes the deaths of girl's reincarnations. Which begs the question, does boy really love girl? I vote no. Unfortunately, boy grew up in the Renaissance and never got to take a high school health class about healthy love versus unhealthy infatuation.

Apart from the cringeworthy premise, Hilary Duff's writing is much better than expected. Good job, Miss Duff.

Review for The Kill Order, prequel to The Mazerunner, by James Dashner:

Let me start off by saying that I have issues with this entire series.

Despite a weak beginning and a weak ending, the meat of The Mazerunner was fascinating. I moved on to the other books in the series with a naive belief that the books would get better as I went on.

They did not get better.

I kept reading because at the end of The Mazerunner, Thomas swore he'd find Chuck's parents. I was interested in seeing the characters search for not only Chuck's parents but their own as well. But even though Dashner highlights this vow of Thomas's like it's super duper important, it never comes into play again. This is what the other two books were like:

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE!

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE DESERTS!

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE GIRLS BESIDE TERESA! NOW THERE HAS TO BE A HALFHEARTED LOVE TRIANGLE!

ME: So, uh, what about Chuck's parents?

THOMAS: NOW WE ARE QUARANTINED ON AN ISLAND!

ME: ...Chuck's parents aren't quarantined with you, by any chance?

ME: No?

ME: Okay then.

I decided to read The Kill Order because I thought it would explain how WICKED raised Thomas and Teresa to be so heartless that they would actually experiment on other kids. But noooo, instead I got a slow-moving book about all-new characters to which I had zero emotional attachment. Which was just as well, since they all die at the end of the book anyways.

Trouble with a Capital T and That Rhymes with C and That Stands for Car‏

I basically got my Honda through an arranged marriage.

When I reached a certain age, my parents came to me and said, "It's time for you to get a car. We're going to find a decent car for you, and then you're going to pay for it."

And I said, "Okay." And then they found me a white Honda, and I got some money out of my account and I bought it. Like I said, an arranged marriage. But with a car.

Say what you like about arranged marriages, but this one has been a smashing success. I named my car Bernard after a lesser known Disney character, and we've gotten along swimmingly ever since. Although Bernard is an older model with many miles, he's run very well for me and hasn't had many problems...until last year.

It all started with the inexplicably locked driver's door, and it all went downhill from there. In October, Bernard began experiencing engine trouble that included but was not limited to blown fuses, ruined wiring, and misfires.

I took him back to my mechanic time and time again. Each time, they said they'd fixed the problem. And each time, Bernard would within days experience the same or a related problem.

You may be wondering, "Awkward Mormon Girl, why didn't you just try taking Bernard to a different mechanic?" That does seem the sensible thing to do, doesn't it? Well, there are a few reasons for this: a) since this mechanic had already been mucking about in Bernard's engine, he at least had an idea of what was going on under there, b) my mechanic is usually quite good; it's only this past year that he hasn't been on his game, and c) I tend to believe in possibilities.

By that I mean that I believe that things can change. So this boy isn't interested in me today? He might feel differently tomorrow. I didn't have a very good improv show this week, but I can do better next week. It's snowing right now, but in a few hours, it could be clear. You know, things like that. Often I'm pleasantly surprised at what happens when I believe in someone. I'm also often profoundly disappointed.

The first time the mechanic and his employees didn't fix my car properly, I said, "I'm sure that they'll get it this time."

The second time: "Third time's a charm!"

The fifth time: "They're bound to figure it out this time!"

Who-knows-what time: "Eventually, they'll exhaust all other possibilities and then they'll have to get it right!"

Obviously, this has been very frustrating. Older Sister innocently suggested a solution.

What she said: "Why don't you just buy a new car?"

What I heard: "Why don't you just get a new best friend?"

Needless to say, I did not take this suggestion well. I could definitely buy a new car if I absolutely needed to, but I don't want to.

I have full confidence that God is looking out for me and Bernard and that one way or another, things will be A-okay. But, in the meantime, the money that I keep having to throw at car repairs is the money that I was planning to use to buy a new laptop to replace Quits. (Quits is quite beautifully living up to his name.) Then there's my smartphone, which sometimes mysteriously shuts down at 30% battery. And while I'm airing grievances, the soles of my boots keep coming off, despite the enormous quantities of hot glue I have used on them.

I feel like this is an appropriate time to quote Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:

"Why is everything I own rubbish?" Ron said furiously, striding across the room to unstick Pigwidgeon's beak.

The Rant

Today I was fifth-book Harry.

I love the fifth Harry Potter book. It's so fun. But I don't love fifth-book Harry, because fifth-book Harry is some rough times.

Today, I was rough times.

It all started when La Petite and Madam President came over for a while. We were supposed to talk about the first Harry Potter book. (La Petite and Madam President are not acquainted with the joys of Harry Potter and I have convinced them to try it.) We did talk about Harry for a while, but then we talked about some personal stuff.

When it was my turn, I exploded.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL AS FIFTH-BOOK HARRY: My life is so hard! I do so much difficult stuff that Dumbledore doesn't even trust me!

FRIENDS: Um, are you sure you're not making this harder than it needs to be-

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: You don't know me! You don't know my life! YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE WHEN VOLDEMORT RETURNED!

Then I went for dinner with Pepper and another member of our improv troupe. Basically, I ranted the whole time and they listened to my rant.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: You don't know how hard it is to be the Chosen One and have the fate of the entire wizarding world resting on my shoulders.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: And midi-chlorians are a terrible father.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Wait. I'm turning into Hayden Christensen Anakin Skywalker. That's worse!

Luckily, everyone was very patient and supportive of me, and things didn't escalate to a point where I tried to kill my Jedi master and melted my face off in some lava.

Fighting Back Against Hitler

Older Sister, Little Sister, and I are all attending an institute class dedicated to family history.

At the first class, Little Sister and I perused our family tree on familysearch.org.

"Did you find any royalty?" this other girl asked us. It's not uncommon for a well-researched line to turn up some cool stuff. In the past, we've learned, among other things, that we're not-so-distant cousins of FDR and that we're direct descendants of Eleanor of Aquitaine, one of history's most powerful and fascinating women.

"Not today," Little Sister said. "But maybe we'll find some Jewish royalty or something."

"Esther," I suggested.

"Yeah, it will just say 'Esther,'" Little Sister said. "And then we'll be like, 'Oh my gosh! Esther, queen of Persia!'"

Joking aside, we really have no idea what we might find on the Jewish eighth of our family tree. That line is not well-recorded. But I don't think this is because my relatives didn't keep track of their ancestors. If you get anything out of the Bible, it's that the Jews love them some lineages. No, I think that Hitler is the person that we can thank for the lack of documentation. Except I don't want to thank him; I want to slap him in the face. With a glove. Because that seems particularly humiliating.

My grandmother is the link between me and her grandparents. My mom never met them. But I feel like I know them because I've heard stories about them from my grandma.

I can't say the same of the Jewish great-something-great-aunts and great-something-great-uncles and cousins who died in the Holocaust. I hardly know anything about them. I don't know of anybody living who knew them or even anybody who knew anybody who knew them. With these relatives' murders, any information they could have shared about their ancestors is gone. A whole link in my family line has vanished.

This bothers me particularly in that Hitler tried to destroy the Jews. He lost the war, but if by killing a whole generation he wiped our ancestors from living memory, then in a sense he succeeded. Oblivion differs from destruction only for the victim. For everybody else, well, all they know is that there's no trace of the victim. Or, rather, they don't know that there's no trace of the victim, because for them it's like that person never existed.

All I know is that I would like a breakthrough so that I can learn more about the men and women that I came from. I pray that something useful will turn up.

Fun Facts About Me

Now that I've had this blog for almost three years, it seems like a good time to tell you some fun facts about myself! Because better late than never, right?

Fun Fact #1: As longtime readers have probably already gleaned, I have one older sister, two younger sisters, and two younger brothers. Bonus Fun Fact: My siblings and I don't really look alike. There are resemblances between some of us, but for the most part people don't peg the six of us as siblings.

Fun Fact #2: I always tell people that I graduated in creative writing, but it's actually more complicated than that. I actually graduated with two majors, English with an emphasis in creative writing and Honors. Having a degree in Honors basically just means that I'm an overachiever. I also minored in history.

Fun Fact #3: I have the mad skill of typing 100 words a minute without using home row.

Fun Fact #4: I got my driver's license when I was eighteen. I was not anxious to take on the responsibilities of being a driver.

Fun Fact #5: I was named after my uncle.

Holiday Catch-up

Christmas was most excellent.

On Christmas Eve, my extended family had a dinner and a nativity scene. Blondie Cousin, who is usually quite shy, literally leapt into my arms upon her arrival and took me as her designated slave for the evening.

I served her dinner. She insisted on "picking" her own food. "I wanna pick it!" Among the picked was a bunch of carrots.

Her mom said that Blondie Cousin really liked carrots, but I wouldn't have known because the kid would not eat. She was hyper and excited and climbing all over and under the furniture like a little monkey.

Finally, I said, "Blondie Cousin, if you don't eat your carrots, I'm going to eat them!" And I popped one into my mouth for good measure.

Immediately she climbed into her chair. "Otay! I'll eat my carrots!"

And she did. After eating, it was time to do the nativity. Blondie Cousin cut her foot on the stairs, so I put some Band-Aids on the cut. But she was not satisfied and, as I dressed her in her sheep costume, cried, "More Band-Aid! More Band-Aid!"

After the nativity, she plonked herself onto my lap to watch the 2015 family slideshow. Baby Brother cuddled up on my other side, happy and excited that there was now only one more sleep 'til Christmas!

And what a Christmas it was!

I finally got to see everyone open the presents I'd been gathering for almost three months. Of course, I got to open presents, too.

As a gift person, I love thoughtful gifts, especially when they are surprises. I got lots of really great surprises from my parents, my siblings, my friends, and Santa Claus. Either I am becoming boring and predictable or my loved ones stepped up their gift game 500%, because it seemed like everyone knew exactly what I wanted. One of the most exciting of these exciting gifts was a ticket from my little sisters to see Caroll Spinney, the Muppeteer behind Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, do a Q&A live here in Utah! Expect a fun blog post about that.

For New Year's Eve, I went to a party with my family. I felt kind of sick, so I ended up leaving early and rang in the New Year watching Phineas and Ferb in my apartment.

Before I left, I stopped to speak with my mom, who was helping Blondie Cousin get some treats. Blondie Cousin tried some cheesecake, didn't like it, and motioned to Mom that she wanted to try a different cake.

"How about you eat your cookies first?" Mom said, but Blondie Cousin was headed for the cake.

"Blondie Cousin!" I called. "If you don't eat your cookies, I will!"

"Otay!" She ran back to her plate of goodies and bit into a cookie.

"Works like a charm," I said.

I Survived 2015

Have you ever seen Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland?

If you haven't, you're definitely not alone. It's one of the more obscure cartoon movies of my childhood. But you're gonna need to get up to speed for this post, so here's a quick download.

First off, this is Nemo:

Not this:

                                           

Got it?

What basically happens is that Nemo, the lucky little guy, gets an invitation in the middle of the night from the king of Slumberland to become the heir to the Slumberland throne. Also, the princess of Slumberland sends him cookies. Because Nemo can't resist monarchical power or cookies, he and his flying squirrel Icarus board this magical dirigible that takes them to Slumberland.

Yes, dirigible. The comic strip that this movie is based on was written around the turn of the century. And I mean not the recent turn of the century but the other one, the one where dirigibles and other flying craft were all the rage.

So when Nemo gets to Slumberland, he meets all kind of fascinating people. He meets Princess Camille, she who sends cookies. And speaking of Princess Camille, why does the king of Slumberland need an heir to the throne when he has a perfectly good princess? That's never explained, but there seems to be a weirdly implied subtext that because Nemo is the heir, he and Camille are now engaged, even though they're like ten years old. So that's a thing.

Nemo also meets Flip, a ne'er-do-well clown played by Mickey Rooney. And, of course, he meets the king of Slumberland, Morpheus. King Morpheus seems like really nice guy, king, and future father-in-law. He gives Nemo free prince lessons, nice clothes, and a fancy key necklace. After giving Nemo the key, though, the king warns him that he must never unlock the door that has the same symbol as the key on it.

This seems like a bad idea, because probably the first thing anyone would do is unlock the door that matches the key. Even though the king warned him, and even though he's becoming the prince of Slumberland, Nemo's still just a kid. He's not ready for this kind of responsibility! Especially when there's probably something awful behind that door.

Within hours of the king's warning, Flip convinces Nemo to open up the forbidden door. And, yup, there's something awful behind it. Specifically, the Nightmare King. The Nightmare King kidnaps Morpheus and takes him away to Nightmare Land.

Determined to set things right, Nemo and Icarus and Princess Camille and company head out for Nightmare Land to rescue King Morpheus.

Luckily, Morpheus left behind his magical scepter, which Nemo can use to defeat the Nightmare King. Also luckily, they have a copy of the incantation that makes the scepter work. Said incantation goes something like this: "Kazama Kablama Pajama Obama" and so on and so forth. Less luckily, in fact downright unluckily, Nemo has a heck of a time memorizing the incantation. Every time they get into trouble, he amateurishly waves the scepter around and yells something along the lines of, "PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA!" Which isn't super effective, but is a valiant effort.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. I'll tell you: it's a metaphor. In this metaphor, I'm Nemo. Nightmare Land is 2015. Icarus the flying squirrel is probably Baby Brother. I don't know who Princess Camille is.

The point is, this metaphor represents the year 2015 for me. 2015 was hard. And every time I found a spot of trouble, I did the only thing I knew how to do: I amateurishly waved a scepter around and yelled, "PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA PAJAMA!" Which wasn't super effective, but was a valiant effort.

I feel you, Nemo. I'm ineffective, too.

There is surely something profound that could be said about this new year, 2016. New chances and all that. I've made some resolutions. There are some things that I hope for, some things I wish would happen to me. But in all honesty, I will be almost satisfied so long as this year is not like last year, where I was constantly thrown into awful situations where I had no control and there was nothing I could do.

But if in 2016 I cannot avoid awful situations where I have no control and there's nothing I can do, I would surely appreciate being made the heir of Slumberland for my trouble.

Also, I would like some cookies.