Goodreads Reviews

I have read a lot of not-so-great books lately. So I decided to try a function of Goodreads that I've never used before: reviews.

For kicks and giggles, here are some of my Goodreads reviews. There are spoilers within, so if you want to read these books and be surprised, you shouldn't read these reviews.

Review for The Last Siege by Jonathan Stroud:

This book was weird. Not weird like mystery meat casserole weird, but weird like when you order a taco expecting that there will be lettuce and cheese and tomatoes and maybe some guacamole on it, but there isn't anything inside the shell but taco meat, and it's not very good taco meat at that. That is what this book is like.

I loved the castle. It sounded very much like the Castello di Avio in Italy. I fell in love with the castle in this book as I fell in love with the Castello di Avio years ago on a study abroad trip. However, I didn't fall in love with anyone else. Emily, Simon, and Marcus were all right sods. Why did they get names but the castle didn't? The castle is the real hero of this book. It deserved a name and a happy ending where a billionaire decides to completely restore it to its former glory.

6/10, would not siege again. Thank goodness the title specifically says that it's the LAST siege.

Review for Elixir by Hilary Duff (yes, that Hilary Duff):

It's a tale as old as time: boy meets girl, girl dies, boy becomes immortal, boy follows reincarnations of girl around for hundreds of years even though his presence causes the deaths of girl's reincarnations. Which begs the question, does boy really love girl? I vote no. Unfortunately, boy grew up in the Renaissance and never got to take a high school health class about healthy love versus unhealthy infatuation.

Apart from the cringeworthy premise, Hilary Duff's writing is much better than expected. Good job, Miss Duff.

Review for The Kill Order, prequel to The Mazerunner, by James Dashner:

Let me start off by saying that I have issues with this entire series.

Despite a weak beginning and a weak ending, the meat of The Mazerunner was fascinating. I moved on to the other books in the series with a naive belief that the books would get better as I went on.

They did not get better.

I kept reading because at the end of The Mazerunner, Thomas swore he'd find Chuck's parents. I was interested in seeing the characters search for not only Chuck's parents but their own as well. But even though Dashner highlights this vow of Thomas's like it's super duper important, it never comes into play again. This is what the other two books were like:

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE!

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE DESERTS!

THOMAS: NOW THERE ARE GIRLS BESIDE TERESA! NOW THERE HAS TO BE A HALFHEARTED LOVE TRIANGLE!

ME: So, uh, what about Chuck's parents?

THOMAS: NOW WE ARE QUARANTINED ON AN ISLAND!

ME: ...Chuck's parents aren't quarantined with you, by any chance?

ME: No?

ME: Okay then.

I decided to read The Kill Order because I thought it would explain how WICKED raised Thomas and Teresa to be so heartless that they would actually experiment on other kids. But noooo, instead I got a slow-moving book about all-new characters to which I had zero emotional attachment. Which was just as well, since they all die at the end of the book anyways.