Eight Days of Hanukkah

In honor of Hanukkah, I have written you a song. Or rather, I have written new words for an old familiar song.

And before you're all, "Ooh, Awkward Mormon Girl! You're a practicing Christian even if you are of Jewish descent! It's probably not, shall we say, kosher for you to write Hanukkah songs!"

Well, guess what? A weirdly large percentage of Christmas songs were written by Jews. So...you know.

Also, I want you to know that I almost titled this post "On the First Day of Hanukkah My True Love Gave Me Absolutely Nothing Because I Don't Have a True Love," but I decided that was too long and whiney. So I didn't do that and you're welcome.

On the first day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
A Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the second day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the third day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the fourth day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Four prayer shawls
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the fifth day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
FIVE GOLDEN SHEKELS (dramatic pause)
Four prayer shawls
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the sixth day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Six plates of latkes
FIVE GOLDEN SHEKELS (dramatic pause)
Four prayer shawls
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the seventh day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Seven Stars of David
Six plates of latkes
FIVE GOLDEN SHEKELS (dramatic pause)
Four prayer shawls
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee

On the eighth day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
Eight days of miracles
Seven Stars of David
Six plates of latkes
FIVE GOLDEN SHEKELS (dramatic pause)
Four prayer shawls
Three kosher pickles
Two games of dreidel
And a Zealot named Judas Maccabee