One for the Stalkers

Dear Stalkers,

I know you're out there.

Before you jump to any conclusions, let me say that in this case a stalker is anyone who repeatedly reads my blog but has never followed me on Blogger, never left a comment on the blog, never liked or commented on the links I've posted on Facebook, and never said anything about it to me in person.

Within my first year of blogging, Madam President told me that she'd gone to a party where she'd heard a guy that we knew telling other people to read my blog.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: Um...that's really weird...because he and I talk sometimes but he's never said anything to me about this blog ever.

MADAM PRESIDENT: Really?!

Then Bonnaby approached me after an institute class and told me that this same guy had recommended my blog to him.

AWKWARD MORMON GIRL: I didn't even know he'd ever read my blog!

It took another year before the guy actually talked to me about it.

DON'T BE LIKE THIS GUY! If you read my blog, and you know me, then I want to know that you read it. I promise that I won't think it's weird. I wouldn't post the link on Facebook if I didn't want people to use it. I wouldn't post stuff about myself online if I didn't expect people to read said stuff.

So, please, stalkers, come clean. If you don't come clean, I'll be forced to believe that you read this blog for some hidden sinister purpose. Who wants to be considered a hidden-sinister-purpose stalker? Surely not you!

So I'll hear from you soon, yes? You'll come and say to me, "Forgive me, Awkward Mormon Girl, for I have stalked." And I shall say, "That's okay! Thanks for coming clean! And for reading my blog!" And then we'll hug and maybe get a soda or something.

That's how it will go down. Can't wait!

Love,

Awkward Mormon Girl