How to Use Words

Being the English major that I am, I tend to notice when people are trying to say a thing but they don't, er, say it correctly. I touched upon that briefly in an earlier post. In this post, I'd like to touch upon it less briefly. I'd like to give it a big, long squeeze, so to speak.

Not everybody has mad word skillz. That's fine. Those without may know how to do things the rest of us don't know much about, like playing soccer or kissing. It all evens out. In any case, anyone who wants better word skillz can benefit from my mad word skillz as I explain some commonly misused words and phrases. Ready? Let's go.

Alright. "Alright" is actually not a word. In all instances, the phrase "all right" should be used in place of "alright."

Phase. When someone says "That doesn't phase me," the spelling they're actually looking for is F-A-Z-E, "faze." To be "fazed" is to be disturbed.

Baited breath. "Baited" means to have bait attached to something. If your breath is baited, then you should make good use of it and go fishing. Most of the time, that's not what people mean; they mean that their breath is suspended. In that case, the correct phrase is "bated breath."

Confident. "Confident" is how you feel when you have a cute new haircut or you just said something terribly witty and clever to a group of appreciative people. The person to whom you confess all your secrets is your "confidant" with an a, not an e. Unless, of course, you favor the Frenchified spelling "confidante," which does have an e, but only at the end.

Missus. "Missus" is the phonetic spelling of the abbreviation "Mrs." "Misses" is multiple single women or the singular, third-person present tense of the verb "to miss."

You may be wondering, "Awkward Mormon Girl, what gives you the right to lecture us about correct word usage?" The answer to that question is that I have an English degree. That's why I have an English degree. English majors may say that they're going to use their degree to teach or write a novel, but in reality the only reason a native English speaker studies English in college is so that they have the official right to correct everybody else's grammar.

English majors are jerks like that.

Anyways, I hope this proves useful and/or eye-opening. Now excuse me; I'm going to bed.